I know what it is like to lose a loved one. I have lost several. I have known big disappointment. I understand grief. I am seeing as I age that grief is simply a companion. It does break us, but also strengthens us. It is a weird paradox.
A broken bone healed properly is stronger at the break than it was originally. Any successful joint replacement breaks the patient temporarily, but strengthens him or her in the long term.
The breaks aren't so bad if we use them to strengthen us.