December 14--Open or Closed?

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. 
--Chuck Palahniuk

    I recognize a couple life circumstances that have cut me open. One has been the great losses in my life--all the members of my family of origin and both sisters-in-law have passed. Grieving a death certainly does not generate immediate happiness. The "true happiness" comes in recognizing the gifts those loved ones gave us in our time with them.

    Choosing to be a parent and raising two sons... I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they make that decision. It totally qualifies for "completely cut open," and it has brought me more joy and happiness than I could ever have imagined. 

    In a more bizarre slant on this quote, I found much physical happiness, i.e. relief from pain, when the surgeon cut me open and gave me a new hip joint!

    When we are cut open--well, that's a wound. Wounds hurt. Yet they heal. Some take longer to heal than others. Our bodies, minds and spirits are continuously moving us toward wholeness. Let's go with that flow.

    Enjoy the weekend. Go, Chiefs!

        Leta

December 13--Just a Poke

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.  --David Sedaris

Blaming life for your misfortunes is like accusing your smart phone of running lousy apps. You're the one who downloaded them. --Pam Grout

    I found the Grout quote in my daily readings a couple days ago and felt compelled to share that fine analogy.

    After failing at the two previous attempts, earlier this week I was able to donate blood. I have been donating for decades, but have an occasional rejection due to my iron (hemoglobin) level not being up to Red Cross standards. Sharing this donation story with a friend prompted a discussion of "needles." My friend went on to describe many of the dreadful life experiences she has had with needles, an unfortunately common occurrence. I guess I have been lucky to avoid such trauma. Sure, the poke hurts, but to me, having birthed two children, a little needle stick is nothing. It is especially nothing when my blood goes to help another person. I am grateful for the excellent health that enables me to donate. 

    If you don't like needles, don't look at the photo. 

        Leta

The workers LOVE my big left-arm vein!

December 12--Flying Moments

Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it. 
--Augusten Burroughs

    I take odometer photos often, as I am a "numbers nerd," and I find number patterns entertaining. I took this one in our RAV4 (affectionately known as "the Spaceship") a few days ago, and it set me to thinking about a "moment in time." At age 69, I am much more aware of the limitations of time. 

    Typically any odometer reading is a minute or so in time, and on that vehicle, you'll not see the same odometer number ever again. But wait! I took this photo when I had parked at the YMCA for a swim, so this odometer reading lasted almost two hours. 

    Time is fickle. A fun event speeds by and a dreaded chore drags on forever. Are you not amazed this December 12th how fast this year has flown!?!? Nowadays, my schedule has made Tuesdays challenging for me, and I am relieved each week to make it to Wednesday. Yet I remind myself to stop wishing my life away. The same applies to my desire to be past the Christmas holiday. 

    Staying in THIS moment in time and enjoying it,

        Leta

December 11--OK So Far

To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is preparation.  --Rainer Maria Rilke

    We are now two weeks away from Christmas. My plan to be less-Grinchy is working well, despite the fact that my friend is sending me photos from Jamaica (where I was with them the past three Decembers). I completed another painting (below). I have been debating whether I want to tinker with it more, but I am having ideas for another painting, so I suspect this one is finished. 

    I scored a set of 600 (yes, six hundred) LED lights with multiple functions at an estate sale for $4. It took me two days to attach them to our backyard lilac shrub. There is a plain white light setting, so I can leave them on the bush all year round, making it worth the effort. I have made progress in sewing gift bags to treat the neighbors. I am gradually getting my favorite Christmas decorations on display. My husband is putting up outside the ultra-cool, permanent, programmable, under-the-eaves lights.

    All that makes for a good life flow, yet I still have no idea what will be happening on Christmas Day or when we might see our kids or have our gift exchange. Mercifully, Christmas will come and go whether or not plans are made.

    Going with the flow,

        Leta

The "speckled" sections are glitter paint.

December 10--Loving the Vessel

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.  --Kahlil Gibran

    Well, duh, the perfect quote for Christmas time. And you can't give of yourself if you don't love and care for yourself. Here are wise thoughts on self-appreciation by Rev. Kris Alexander:

During my journey of self-love, I’ve been reflecting on the way our bodies change. Even when I think I finally reached the pinnacle of self-love, I inevitably wake up the next morning with another weird chin hair, random back pain or a giant zit on my face. No matter how much I love my body, it’s going to continue to age and change. This is part of why self-love is a journey.

On top of the societal soup of marketing, messaging, people, products and social media that suggests self-hate is the norm, we’re trying to love something that is constantly shifting, moving and changing right in front of us.
Love is both a noun and a verb. Just as I don’t expect those I love to stay exactly the same, I don’t expect my body to remain the same either. Love, then, becomes a conscious choice to show up, no matter what happens. I love my body no matter how it changes or if it no longer works the way it once did. This body is mine, and it’s the only one I’ll get in this lifetime, so I choose to unconditionally love it, just as it unconditionally loves me. Embracing changes with compassion and acceptance allows me to appreciate this amazing vessel that carries me through life. I honor the evolving nature of my body and my journey of self-love.
Affirmation: I consistently choose to love my incredible body unconditionally, embracing its changes with compassion as I move through the phases of my life.

    When we are good to our bodies, our bodies are good to us.

        Leta

Me at 5 and 68

December 9--Keeping Life Interesting

Life can be magnificent and overwhelming--that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live.  --Albert Camus

Sure, but how boring life would be without beauty, love or danger!!

This poem-prayer is by Ilia Delio, titled "The Christic":

I am looking at a tree, but I see such astounding beauty and
graciousness, the tree must be You, O God,
I look at the wild weeds playing across the fields, and their
wild joyful freedom speaks to me of You, O God.
Yesterday, I saw a child crying alone on a busy corner, and
the tears were real, and I thought, you must be crying, O God.
God, you are the mystery within every leaf and grain of sand,
in every face, young and old, you are the light and beauty
of every person.
You are Love itself.
Will we ever learn our true meaning, our true identity?
Will we ever really know that we humans are created for
love?
For it is love alone that moves the sun and stars
and everything in between.

We are trying too hard to find You, but You are already here,
We are seeking life without You, but You are already within,
Our heads are in the sand, our eyes are blinded by darkness,
our minds are disoriented in our desperate search
for meaning.
Because You are not what we think You are:
You are mystery.
You are here and You are not,
You are me and You are not,
You are now and You are not,
You are what we will become.
You are the in-between mystery
The infinite potential of infinite love,
And it is not yet clear what You shall be,
For we shall become something new together.

    The mystery is a magnificent thing.

        Leta

Fairchild Oak--a VERY old
live oak tree in Florida

December 8--We Are the Universe

Love is divine only and difficult always.  --Toni Morrison

From "Journey of the Universe" by philosopher Brian Swimme and historian Mary Evelyn Tucker:

We are the first generation to learn the comprehensive scientific dimensions of the universe story. We know that the observable universe emerged 13.7 billion years ago, and we now live on a planet orbiting our Sun, one of the trillions of stars in one of the billions of galaxies in an unfolding universe that is profoundly creative and interconnected. With our empirical observations expanded by modern science, we are now realizing that our universe is a single immense energy event that began as a tiny speck that has unfolded over time to become galaxies and stars, palms and pelicans, the music of Bach, and each of us alive today. The great discovery of contemporary science is that the universe is not simply a place, but a story—a story in which we are immersed, to which we belong, and out of which we arose.

This story has the power to awaken us more deeply to who we are. For just as the Milky Way is the universe in the form of a galaxy, and an orchid is the universe in the form of a flower, we are the universe in the form of a human. And every time we are drawn to look up into the night sky and reflect on the awesome beauty of the universe, we are actually the universe reflecting on itself. And this changes everything.

    We are immersed in beauty and love, let us enjoy the ride!

        Leta

My niece's Christmas village--she is 
much more ambitious than I am!

December 7--Going For It

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only with what you are expecting to give--which is everything.  --Katharine Hepburn

    My mind explores potential blog post themes as I wander through life. Sometimes a sign will inspire me, or an event of the day. Every now and then an idea won't leave me alone until I write about it. Such is the case today as I take on the human functions of farting and burping. 

    REALLY!?!?!?!?

    My husband is the oldest of three boys, and they are quite talented at those two functions, and still, in their 60s, entertain each other with those functions. My one b-i-l has been known to record his farts and send the recording to the other two. Plus we raised two sons, so the burping/farting enjoyment has been passed on to the next generation. That same b-i-l taught our sons to light farts, which at the time they thought was the coolest thing EVER.

    My mother once told me as a teenager that "no self-respecting woman would ever burp or fart in public." Now that I think about it, I'm amazed she said the word "fart." Fortunately I did not take this to heart, because she died at a young age, I'm assuming because she was so uptight!

    God was having an LOL moment when he created those functions for our magnificent bodies. Think of all the various musical sounds produced by burping and especially farting. 

    Doesn't it make you smile thinking about God cheering when you rip off a good one?!?!?!?

        Leta

There are LOADS of 
fart-themed t-shirts available!

December 6--Devotion

Love... is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. 
--Nicholas Sparks

    Around our house, the primary love language is acts of service. (See "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.) I maintained the home front for decades while my husband was the primary bread-winner. He worked all day, then came home and made the family supper nearly every evening. Now that he is retired from his computer-geek career, he is constantly busy either with around-the-house projects, walking the dog, or working part-time with Corporate Caterers. His "pattern of devotion" makes our lives quite wonderful. 

    I am not a complete slacker even though I do not feel compelled to be busy all the time. I take care of our household finances and the garden, and I occasionally do house-cleaning. My contributions are not as obvious as, say, replacing the deck (which my husband did), but I do believe I would be missed if I left the planet. My husband supplies the music and I supply the art for our household. 

    By the way, I have decided that I am completely comfortable calling myself an artist. It matters not whether someone sees or likes my various forms of art. So there!

        Leta

The start of the current painting

Painted, tape still intact... stay tuned

December 5--A Big Job

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.  --Philip James Bailey

    This could be a definition of parenting. It brings you to both ends of the emotional spectrum and all points between, day after day, year after year. This includes even after the youngsters are long gone from "the nest." 

    I had training on Tuesday for an upcoming simulated patient gig. This activity has been very eye-opening for me. I personally am not very enamored with the medical profession as I believe it is completely insurance-driven, not patient-driven. Seeing these students in action impresses upon me how much they have to know, and what a hit-or-miss profession doctoring is. This encounter involves an exam of a patient who is simply "much more tired than usual." In "real" life, that could be a result of any number of things, and they are expected to figure it out in a very short time (because we know the speedy clock most docs operate under). I believe these students truly want to help people. I do wonder how much training or information they get on the behemoth that is the health insurance industry. 

    Continuing, one day at a time,

        Leta

More from the Cleveland Zoo
"Wild Winter Lights"

December 4--Indescribable

There ain't really no words for love or pain.  --Gloria Naylor

    I confess to the temptation to offer a blank blog post, since there "ain't really no words." 😉😉

    I'm not going to ramble at length about this quote. I think we have all had experiences of love and/or pain that felt impossible to describe in words. 

    I'm getting re-settled back into home life after vacation, and I am happy to return to painting and pickleball. In my commitment to not let the current events and political landscape bring me down, I am avoiding the news. I have been enjoying stories from upworthy.com that highlight the goodness and kindness of people. This helps to keep my thoughts focused on the positive, which is my small contribution to the mass consciousness right now.

    Faith over fear,

        Leta

What story are you composing?

December 3--Start with a Laugh

The greatest lie ever told about love is that it sets you free.  --Zadie Smith

    That's a good one! 

    When I am home, I start most every day with a good laugh. As I am relaxing in bed doing my spiritual practice and blog writing, my sweet husband brings me an excellent cup of coffee. He is usually accompanied by our pup Barney, who hops up on the bed, gets right in my face and checks out my morning breath. Every day! It's so comical! Then he lies down beside me and has an extra morning snooze. How can a day be bad that starts out that way!?!?!?

    I began working at West Heights UMC in the fall of 1999. I bought a Norfolk pine, potted it up, and decorated it like a Christmas tree. The lights stayed on. I brought it home when I left the job in 2006. Fast forward... yesterday I finally replaced the failing pine with a new one, lights and all. That first pine served me well for 25 years. One of my Christmas-time creativity projects is completed. 

    Aiming for the next right thing,

        Leta

The new planting...

December 2--Creativity Required

Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters.  --John Green and David Levithan

    I am a living. breathing, walking example of this quote. I am aware that fear is a much bigger character defect in me than I like. I also know that the potential negative consequences of what I might say, love or go to are simply not worth it. My life is working nicely if I don't get in my own way!

    I have gone nearly a month without seeing any news other than sports. The world and my life have continued to move on. Maybe it's because I've been on vacation, but I'm feeling less angry and bummed. In order to stay upbeat through December, I need to focus on the "next right thing to do." This is a common 12-step phrase encouraging me to stay out of baggage from the past and worries about the future. With my recent purchases of fabric and painting canvases, I have given myself plenty of creative options for this month. 

    Creativity is my best defense against negativity.

        Leta

My niece's Christmas decorations, and I helped!

December 1--It Didn't Work

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. 
--Sigmund Freud

    December's theme in "Daily Love" is SACRIFICE. 

    I have the Life Is Good shirt pictured here:

    Note what it says. I wore it specifically on my remaining (400 mile) drive home, hoping to avoid any snowy driving. It failed miserably. My normal six-hour drive (yes, I speed) took well over eight hours, and I had five hours on I70 in Missouri that were in heavy snowfall and slick, often icy roads. I thought I might need surgery to remove my shoulders from my ears as my neck and upper back were so tense. But, since I am writing this, you can see that I made it home in one piece, incredibly grateful. 

    And now it is December, the month containing Christmas. This is the third year that I don't get to spend the holiday with my kids and grandkids, so we will see if I am better able to cope with the month this year. I did not do well the past two Decembers, and I'm bummed that I'm not going to Jamaica this year with my friends to distract me. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta

November 30--Ready for HOME!

But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever.  --Jane Austen

    I think it is quite cool that there is always something new to learn about someone. Looking at my brother at the end of his days, one would never suspect that he had graduated from West Point and was once a kick-ass-and-take-names U.S. Army Ranger.

    So far, so good on my clear-weather drive-home plan. I went through several batches of light snow flurries, but never any snow sticking on the roads. The 600 miles took me about 10.5 hours. I'm so grateful to have the bigger part of the journey behind me. 

    Keep up the good work, my mighty (overworked) angels!

        Leta

My destination today!!!

November 29--Love Overflowing

If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches. 
--Carolyn Kenmore

    My niece and I started the Thanksgiving holiday by "hard knocking" each other into a chilly 2-mile walk, leaving us with the "soft touch" of self-righteousness to eat whatever we wanted. I'm pleased to say that although there was plenty of food to OD on, I managed to eat moderately. My intake was kept at bay due to heavy-duty game playing, including a couple card games and of course, Rummikub. 

    It was a very blessed holiday because I spent it with a niece, two nephews, a niece-in-law, and three great-nephews. These are all descendants of my brother Arlie who passed in April. My niece bought the "whole nine yards" Thanksgiving meal from Bob Evans Restaurant, making the entire production so yummy and so much easier for her. 

    I was treated to a holiday video-chat with my son and the older grandson, who is becoming quite the talker. I turned in around 11pm, looking ahead to my 600 mile drive today, back to my in-laws' home in Wentzville, Missouri. 

    My guardian angels rock!!!

        Leta

More fun from "Wild Winter Lights,"
Cleveland Zoo

November 28--Millions of Them!

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.  --Oscar Wilde

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

    I have decided for the time being to use my morning prayer time to simply say "Thank You!" I typically run through a bunch of lovely visions I have for my loved ones and me. Spirit knows all that, and I figure must get bored with the daily repetition. A simple "Thank You!" feels good. 

    Yesterday I did my final lap swim of this visit, 11 days in a row, over seven miles total. Then I helped my niece with holiday prep, which wore us out, thus necessitating naps 😉😉 The big event of the day--niece Debi drove son Bryce and I to the Cleveland Zoo for "Wild Winter Lights." Being the light-and-color-freak that I am, it was heaven. The couple-mile trek around the Zoo was decorated with millions of lights, and even had a big field of light trees and displays set to music. It was chilly but dry and calm, so it was a super night to roam. We even saw two tigers. 

    Celebrate! Celebrate!

        Leta

November 27--They Add Up

How we spend days is, of course, how we spend our lives.  --Annie Dillard

    I'm going to be really good at eternity because I love to nap so much! 

    I suspect that most of us feel like our days are not that exciting. We hang out with loved ones, work, go to school, enjoy hobbies and activities, eat, sleep, shop, keep appointments, maintain a home, etc. It seems to me that the key to this, and to "how we spend days," is all about attitude. We can do our "stuff" with a good attitude or a bad one, and we are continually choosing. I've pulled myself out of many a funk with the question, "If this was my last day alive, would I want to be living it in this crappy mood?!?!" 

    My niece has the plaque shown below hanging in one of her rooms. I'd say it is a good way to apply Ms. Dillard's quote. 

    Prepping for Thanksgiving Day and family coming to town,

        Leta

November 26--Some Days (Years) Were Messy

These are the days that must happen to you.  --Walt Whitman

    A couple weeks ago, I was lap-swimming at the West Wichita YMCA and the (loving reference) old-lady water-exercise class was happening. The instructor plays oldies music for that class on Fridays, and I was amused to hear her playing "One Toke Over the Line" by Brewer & Shipley. Any individual in the class would have either been completely clueless, or like me, would have smiled thinking of the many times I was "one toke over the line." This song came out in 1970. I would say I was stoned at least half of my college years, 1973-1979 (that includes grad school). I could not run for president ever because I was smart enough to inhale 😉😉 I listened to the song's lyrics hoping that they were somehow profound in some way, but nope. 

    Yesterday's Ohio adventures included grocery shopping, lap-swimming, napping, and cooking tamale pie for supper. I must note the rare event that I actually beat my niece at Rummikub last night. Woohoo!!

        Leta

What could be more 70s??!?!?!?

November 25--Today--Please Be Kind

The greatest happiness is to transform one's feelings into actions. 
--Germaine de Stael

    Helping my niece put out Christmas decorations is encouraging my not-so-grumpy feelings about Christmas. I assembled a totally flimsy plastic old-time-red-truck-with-Chr-tree-in-the-back for her. I'm predicting that the squirrels and chipmunks will make a banquet out of it.     

    In addition to decorating, we were both motivated enough to do a 2-mile walk and an afternoon lap swim. Two college students live with my niece (her son and one of his friends). Last night we taught them Rummikub, so we have created two more addicts. 

    Today includes swimming, grocery shopping, decorating and cooking (tamale pie!). 

    Be kind today,

        Leta

This gorgeous hydrangea is
in my niece's neightborhood.

November 24--Cousin Fun

Love is [like the sea.] It's [a] moving thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from [the] shore it meets, and it's different with every shore.  --Zora Neale Hurston

    Love is different with every person, and that's a good thing. 

    The father of my two grandsons called yesterday. It was lovely to talk with him, but even better was hearing the squeaks and coos of baby Remy lying in his lap. 

    My niece drove us north to Beachwood where we picked up my cousin Marlene and took her out to lunch. Marlene's mother and my mother were sisters. It is comical in that each of us have less-than-Pollyanna feelings about our own mothers, but each of us thought the aunt was the best ever. Her mom bought me my first pair of overalls (RED!) which infuriated my mother because all she wanted to do was dress me up in frilly, scratchy dresses. Mom's plan mightily backfired as I hate to dress up to this day. 

    We visited a new-to-us brewpub and had a beer, which fortified us for a trip to Menards. Mostly we wandered around the Christmas decorations, and we both bought some cool lights. I will help my niece with her holiday decorations which will hopefully get me going in a positive mental direction for the season. 

    In shocking developments--it was a Saturday without a nap!!! But, of course, Rummikub finished off our day. 

        Leta

Been seeing lots of 
snowflakes here!

November 23--The MOST Christmas per Square Inch

We don't get to choose our own hearts. We can't make ourselves want what's good for us or what's good for other people. We don't get to choose the people we are.  --Donna Tartt

    I really don't agree with any of this Tartt quote. So there!

    To update you on recent Ohio fun... I have been doing my daily lap swim. On Thursday my niece took the day off and took me out to breakfast. Her oldest son came over later and joined us for a delicious meatball sub supper. We declined to watch the Browns game, and then were pleasantly surprised to see that the Browns won.     

    Yesterday morning after my swim I went to the Joann store. This is not just any store--this is the "world headquarters" store and it is HUGE. I spent over an hour roaming and all my purchases were on sale (BONUS!). I found all the stuff I need for my anti-grumpy Christmas project (see Nov 20 post) and a few more canvases to support this winter's painting hobby. 

    No trip to Ohio is complete without some Handel's ice cream. It was nasty cold and raining hard so that I knew I would find no line at the window. Bingo! One scoop of Salty Caramel Truffle on apple crisp makes a mighty fine lunch. 

    More food! Four of us went to Barrio for tacos and margaritas, yummy!!! Then the total amazement of the evening--we went to Hudson's for an after-dinner drink--this place is CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! Every square inch of the place has tinsel or lights or murals or something Christmas. 

    No day is complete here without Rummikub. We taught my great-nephew to play last night, so now we are creating another addict 😉

    The weekend, yippee!

        Leta

At Hudson's

November 22--Triple A's

You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. 
--Margery Williams

The test of a psychologically mature person and, therefore, a spiritually mature one, will be found in his or her capacity to handle what we might call the Triple A’s: anxiety, ambiguity and ambivalence.  -- James Hollis

    I was pretty fascinated by the Hollis quote. Initial glances lead me to think that I'm not very good with the "Triple A's." Let's dig deeper. Though I did not know what (clinical) anxiety was until a few years ago, that realization made it clear that I have been anxious most of my life. So I guess I've been handling it. 

    Ambiguity is "the quality of being open to more than one interpretation." I like to think I am open-minded, but I know I also have a very judgmental person within me. And yes I do like to be "right." 

    Ambivalence is "the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone." Geez, I could say this is the story of my life. It seems to me that any sort of close relationship is going to generate some ambivalence. I am currently ambivalent about playing golf. 

    I think the "Triple A's" deserve more consideration...

        Leta

November 21--Grateful for a Family of Sports Fans

Now for some heart work.  --Rainer Maria Rilke

    Isn't it all heart work?!?!! 

    Yesterday included a morning swim, some meal prep, some crocheting, and of course, a nap. One thing I love about these trips is how much I get to sleep. Napping is my No. 1 hobby, but I also sleep very well at night. 

    My niece went to work out after her day at school, then we had supper. Given the nasty cold rainy weather, we scrapped our plans to go to a sports bar and watch the Cavs basketball game. Cleveland and the surrounding area are very high on the ultra-successful Cavs since the Browns football team is doing so poorly. The Cavs stomped the Pelicans, and we stayed cozy-comfy at home. 

    What will today hold?

        Leta

November 20--Bah Humbug--To Be or Not To Be

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.  --Paulo Coelho

    Well, we hope so anyway. 

    Christmas used to be my favorite holiday. No longer spending it with my kids, it is now my least favorite, and I wish we could simply eliminate December. The past three years I had a December trip to Jamaica to placate me, but I'm not going there this year. There is enormous Grinch potential here. Knowing this would be the case, last year after Christmas I put this note in my calendar for this November: "Make treats for neighbors instead of being Christmas-grumpy." There is a part of me that just wants to be Christmas-grumpy, so we will see if grumpy or neighborly wins out. Stay tuned. 

    Yesterday I did my morning lap-swim then ran some errands and did some exploring relative to the possible anti-grumpy project. One of the postage stamp choices available now is the snow-globe stamp shown below. I'm TRYING to be Christmas-y!

        Leta

November 19--Lentils Required

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.  --James Baldwin

    In yesterday's "maybe I am brave" rambling, I forgot to list the bravest thing I ever did: I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane!!! Yes, I did. I have never been so terrified as I was stepping out on that ledge to fall into the skydive. I have also been zip-lining in Costa Rica and para-sailing in Jamaica. These are no small feats for someone who is petrified of heights. 

    Yesterday started with my daily morning lap-swim followed by a trip to the grocery store for soup-makings. I assembled the soup in the afternoon only to realize that when making lentil soup, it is a good idea to have lentils. Fortunately, my niece lives a quarter-mile from a huge grocery store, so I walked there as my penance for my doofus moment forgetting to buy lentils earlier. We enjoyed a soup and cornbread supper while I was beaten soundly at Rummikub. 

    The fun continues,    

        Leta

Shirley's famous "Beefy Lentil Soup"--
how many hand-written recipe 
cards have you handled lately!?!?!?

November 18--Yes, You Can!

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.  --John Irving

    I don't tend to think of myself as brave, but others tell me that I am. I can't blog under the header of "The Brave Broad" and be a complete wuss. Then I started to consider the many times when I have had the courage to pursue: 

• Grad degree at University of Minnesota
• Moving to Wichita to be closer to my future husband
• Getting married and having two children (NOT a fairy tale in real life)
• Leaving a steady job for the flexible schedule of self-employment
• Admitting defeat to addiction and embracing the 12-Step program
• Yoga and MELT teaching training and twelve great years of teaching
• Completing my all-30 Major League Baseball stadiums quest, including two baseball tours I did solo and hundreds of miles of driving to stadiums in huge cities
• Traveling the U.S. and the world, a huge blessing in my life, with more adventures to come!

    Oh, yes, I've just driven 1000 miles to hang with my niece in Ohio. That was courageous, I guess, but I'm so used to it just being what I have to do to enjoy Ohio-family time. 

    I am lucky and I know it!

        Leta

Any beach is my happy place.

November 17--No Driving Today, Yippee!!

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.  --Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

    The main thing that keeps me going on a 600-mile-drive is the audiobook. The last few drives I have been entertained by excellent mystery writer Freida McFadden. I wrote a few weeks ago about the covert narcissist (in the Oct 24/25 range) and the profound influence narcissistic abuse had on my life and the life of my niece. Yesterday's drive featured the seemingly-random pick of McFadden's book "The Wife Upstairs." Lo and behold, the main character is the poster child for a covert narcissist! I am loving Spirit's "super push" to heal beyond this issue! 

    Yesterday's drive was uneventful. It was even cloudy the whole way so I did not have to drive into the blazing early morning sun. I stopped a couple hours from my destination for a 25-minute power-nap. I arrived just before 5:00 pm. We had a relaxed evening playing Rummikub, and I slept like the dead. 

    Happy to be here!

        Leta

November 16--Arrived and Leaving

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.  --Abraham Maslow

    I stepped forward, or at least drove eastward, 400 miles and arrived safely for a nice visit with my in-laws. I had a new experience--my regular monthly massage was scheduled for yesterday, so I kept that appointment, and I can say that a massage right before a very long drive is a fine practice. I actually arrived feeling quite good. 

    I'm leaving here for Ohio before the "buttcrack of dawn." 

    Eastward HO!

        Leta

Couldn't resist...!!!

November 15--Always a Miller

It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.  --Yann Martel

    Thirty-eight years ago, it was not a common practice, but I kept my maiden name when I married. I saw no good reason to suddenly become a "Hardin" when I had been a "Miller" all my life. Before we married, my husband said, "If you won't change your name, I won't marry you." I replied. "OK." Obviously he relented. Though I did not change my name, meeting my husband, getting married and having a family were all big change-instigators! 

    Woohoo!! Today I hit the road headed for Ohio. My overnight stop is with my in-laws in Wentzville, Missouri. 

    Stay tuned,

        Leta

November 14--Long-Lasting Love

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.  --Louis de Bernieres

    On most Thursday mornings, I chat with my prayer partner. We have known each other since 2004 when we started spiritual coaching training together. We bonded over the fact that we seemed to be the only two in the group with a sense of humor. It did get us into "trouble" a few times. Even though we have been connected for 20 years, we have spent less than 100 hours physically together. He lives in Ohio and I live in Kansas. We talk about everything--matters on our hearts, current events, and best of all, baseball!  If one of us can't make the Thursday call, we text our prayer requests to each other. I am so grateful for this long-term spiritual connection in my life. 

    Do you have a prayer partner? I highly recommend having one. No special skill is required--Spirit lovingly takes our requests in any and all forms.

        Leta

We are not that angelic, 
I just like the photo.

November 13--Love Sticks with Us

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments that stand out above everything else are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.  --Henry Drummond

    I have been a blood donor at the Red Cross my entire adult life. I am not very consistent, but I try to give several times a year. It has always been hit-or-miss with my hemoglobin (iron) levels. Given that one is giving up a pint, the Red Cross wants the iron number at 12.5 or above. Monday's attempt at donation failed with a 12.4 reading. The previous attempt also failed. I'm approaching the point of "three strikes and I'm out." My last actual donation put me officially at 13 gallons (104 pints) lifetime. That's a decent record. Maybe my body is just encouraging me to keep my blood. 

    I have completed another painting. Given the events of last week (Election Day), this one is titled "A Thin Thread of Hope Among the Chaos." No Green Frog Tape gave its life for this one, but I did use a piece of a guitar string, crochet cotton and copious amounts of glitter paint to adhere the string. The string is frayed on the ends (like me 😉😉).

    Fun with paints "in the spirit of love!"

        Leta

"A Thin Thread of Hope Among the Chaos"

November 12--The Direction of Your Devotion

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.  --Mitch Albom

    These are wise words Mr. Albom offered. I am at the stage in life where I ask myself, "Am I being a useful human being?" Answers vary. I wonder if I'm having too much fun. I tell myself that I can "rest on my laurels"--I raised two useful humans, so I did my job. Being an introvert, I appreciate solitary activities like painting and gardening to balance my hours playing pickleball and doing simulated patient gigs. I gather from what I am writing that meaning in life is in direct proportion to a person's comfort in his/her own skin. With that comfort, the devotion described above comes quite naturally. 

    Workin' on it,

        Leta

One of my wintertime devotions...

November 11--Love Would Be Better

Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.  --Anton Chekhov

    Amen to that! The cruelty that is abounding in our world today is baffling to me. It is physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Abusing others (in our seemingly infinite variety of ways) takes effort--STOP IT! Why after all these centuries do we still think war and killing solve anything? Alas, the majority of Americans apparently want cruelty and abuse because they just elected a leader who is the poster child for those things. 

    From Richard Rohr in his Daily Meditation of Nov 10:

I’m convinced that beneath the ugly manifestations of our present evils—political corruption, ecological devastation, warring against one another, hating each other based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or nationality—the greatest dis-ease facing us right now is our profound and painful sense of disconnection. We feel disconnected from God certainly, but also from ourselves (especially our bodies), from each other, and from our world. Our sense of this fourfold isolation is plunging humanity into increasingly destructive behavior and much mental distress. 

    We are seeing the gross failure of our public education and religious systems. They have not done the job of "showing a person who he should be." There is a mandate in the Oklahoma public school system now that requires teaching the Bible as part of lesson plans. Fortunately there is a lawsuit attempting to stop this. How about teaching a civics lesson on separation of church and state?!?!

    Climbing down from my soap box now,

        Leta 

November 10--"Oh, The Places You'll Go!" (Dr. Seuss)

Real love is a pilgrimage. It happens when there is no strategy, but it is very rare because most people are strategists.  --Anita Brookner

    My strategy in April of 1982 was just to go to a Royals game, because I love baseball. That pilgrimage ended up in a "real love" marriage of 38 years and counting. Who knew?!?!!?

    Speaking of pilgrimages... later this week I will be embarking on another 1000-mile journey back to northeast Ohio to hang with my niece and her family for a couple of weeks, including the Thanksgiving holiday. Yes, I do the drive by myself. I have learned to break it up mentally into 50-mile blocks. The first day is eight blocks (400 miles) and the second day is twelve blocks (600 miles). It's mental gymnastics, I know, but 50 miles is much easier to conquer mentally than 600. Being a self-proclaimed math nerd, this works for me 😉😉 Plus the joy of being with my niece and maybe (!!) beating her at Rummikub keeps me energized through the miles. 

    Much to do to get ready to sail east!

        Leta

November 9--Make Something!

If those whom we begin to love could know us as we were before meeting them... they could perceive what they have made of us.  --Albert Camus

Love is an ideal thing; marriage a real thing: A confusion of the real and the ideal never goes unpunished. --Johann Wolfgang Goethe

    The second quote came from one of my daily readings and it made me smile. 

    Cutting off my Google news feed has given me insight into how much time I spent reading "news." I have determined that painting is going to be the activity at home that saves my sanity over the next four years. I just finished the painting below. I am going to give my two most recent paintings to my grandsons for Christmas. It is important for me to give them Grammie-created things. Both will have a crocheted blanket, a Christmas stocking and a painting. I want to encourage their creativity in every way I can, to help them understand that we create to bring forth what is in us and it is all good. Our creativity is first and foremost to please us. If someone else digs our work, that's cool but not essential. 

    Hanging onto "one day at a time" and "this, too, shall pass."

        Leta

By yours truly

November 8--Going Into Ostrich Mode

Human relationships don't belong to engineering, mathematics, chess, which offer problems that can be perfectly solved. Human relationships grow, like trees. 
--J. G. Priestley

    I'm thinking right now of one of the gnarly Dr. Seuss trees. There are a lot of ugly relationships out there. I have locked away my Google News app for the next four years. I cannot bear to watch the revenge and destruction that is about to be unleashed. 

    Along with Wednesday's election news, I learned that the husband of a golfing friend had passed. This reminded me of one of my mother's uplifting sayings:

It's never so bad that it couldn't be worse. 

    Alas, so true.

        Leta

Artist: John Beckley

November 7--So Much We Don't Know

We do know that no one gets wise enough to really understand the heart of another, though it is the task of our life to try.  --Louise Erdrich

    I have been doing some "deep-dive" work lately relative to my experience growing up with my mother and the younger of my two brothers. My brother worked with Dad and his family lived nearby, so I was around the kitchen table with him and my mom every day. It was the primary site of ongoing verbal and emotional abuse, labeled as "just teasing." (I advise you, dear readers, to be very wary of those words.) 

    What my deep-dive has ultimately pointed out is that I have no clue about their lives before I came on the scene, leaving me in no position to judge them. What caused my mom to become a codependent food addict who ultimately killed herself via bulimia? What caused my brother to become a sister-hating narcissist? They both had trauma in their lives just like me. That's a good point--we all have had traumatic experiences. This does not condone bad behavior, but it does encourage us to cut each other some slack. I forgive my mother and brother as they were just doing their jobs (in the big-picture-cosmic-sense) the best they knew how. 

    As forgiveness expands, so does personal freedom.

        Leta

November 6-- In Tears

In youth we learn; in age we understand.  --Marie Von Ebner Eschenbach

   

    I am embarrassed to be a U.S. citizen. 

        Leta

November 5--VOTE!!!

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. 
--George Bernard Shaw

    Well, the big day for the U.S. is here. Election Day.

    What kind of country are we creating? One based on revenge, greed, injustice, and discrimination or one based on freedom, opportunity and care for all? 

    We can do better!

        Leta

November 4--We Have Had Some Help Along the Way

Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you, the thing you think you can't survive... it's the thing that makes you better than you used to be. 
--Jennifer Weiner

    A couple days ago I put together several "puzzle pieces" of my life that have happened in the past couple of years. The assembly finally made a very clear picture of why this time has been one of great angst, grief, and disappointment. Seeing that completed picture, my first mental exclamation was "no wonder I was depressed!!!" I don't know if all this is making me better than I used to be--the jury is still out on that one!

    In "Every Day Spirit" on November 2, Mary Davis writes about how every person we have known who has passed on has changed our lives in some way. She offers these thanksgivings to those who have departed:

• Thank you to our parents, who gave us life, who loved us the best they knew how and taught us the lessons we needed most;
• Thank you to our children, gone too soon, who broke our hearts by their absence, only to transform us into something new, richer and deeper for having shared the beauty of their love;
• Thank you to our spouses, the one who walked with us, the one who left first, the soul mate who lives in our hearts;
• Thank you to our friends, who were companions on the road of life, who supported us through the joy and sorrows; 
• Thank you to our ancestors, who braved the challenges of their lives so they might pass on a better way of life for us;
• Thank you to the brave men and women who gave their lives willingly in protection of our beliefs and freedoms;
• Thank you to our teachers, guides and mentors who expanded us and enlightened us with their wisdom. 

    So many folks have touched us with love. Bless them all!

        Leta

November 3--Sewn with Love

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.  --Henry David Thoreau

    Many decades ago, when I was still single, I created a pattern and sewed a Christmas stocking for myself. Being quite the lover of Christmas back then, I made it big so that it could hold a lot of goodies. When I got married, I made my husband a stocking of the same size. Then we had kids, and I made a stocking for each of them. Going through the stockings was traditionally our first Christmas morning "opening." I acquired a daughter-in-law and made her one of the stockings. I made one for grandson Luca's first Christmas. As of yesterday, new grandson Remy has his own stocking as the newest member of the family. It is pictured below. 

    Choosing the fabric is part of the fun. I have to go with "I'll know it when I see it." I looked at the fabric store a couple of different times for the "right" Remy fabric, and finally settled on the avocado snowmen and Santas because we are an avocado-loving family. That was one of the first "real" foods the parents fed Luca, and I'm sure such will be the same with Remy.  

    Grateful for creativity!

        Leta

The name is embroidery, which 
my mother taught me many
decades ago. 

November 2--No Quitting

Never give up on yourself. Then you will never give up on others. 
--Pema Chodron

    I've already enjoyed a 30-lap swim this morning. Going to the YMCA was an adventure because they are resurfacing the parking lot and much of it was blocked off. Parking was chaotic. So I parked on the street near a "No Parking Any Time" sign. 

    I'm thinking of blessings this morning, maybe because we have arrived at Thanksgiving month. I've been reminding myself upon waking and settling toward sleep to review five things I am grateful for. I try to do uncommon as well as more common things like health, family and friends. Here are some:

• The sewer system
• Rain
• A working furnace and air conditioner
• New dryer
• Our dog Barney
• Ability to move comfortably
• Multiple pool options for lap swimming
• Creativity
• A hard freeze 
• Pickleball
• My sewing machine and the know-how to use it
• Ability to read
• Right to vote
• Our neighbors

    My mind can run off into terrifying territory. Making these lists pulls my attention back to where I want it to be. 

    Be blessed this Saturday!

        Leta

Ain't he a cutie!?!?!

November 1--Growth

We accept the love we think we deserve.  --Stephen Chbosky

    November's theme in "Daily Love" is growth. 

    We could rewrite the quote as "we accept the ________ we think we deserve," and fill in the blank. Abundance? Abuse? Opportunity? Health? Inspiration? Job?

    Today I am grateful for puddles and ice cream. There is a window in the woman cave that looks out on our backyard garden. On Wednesday, we received much-needed rain that created puddles under the deck outside my window. Puddles make me so happy. More rain is predicted for this weekend and more puddles will make me even happier. 

    My "bestest niece ever" sent me, her "bestest aunt ever," a belated birthday present of six pints of Graeter's super premium ice cream. What a treat to get a surprise box of ice cream!! So far I've had the one pictured below and it is excellent. 

    Life is tasty!

        Leta

Graeter's most popular flavor--for good reason!

October 31--Do I Have To? YES!

True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion.  --Gordon B. Hinckley

    In his October 30 Daily Meditation, Richard Rohr offers these thoughts on Jesus' commandment to "love our enemies:"

Is there anything happening in America today that would make you think we believe we should “love our enemies”? If Christians do not decide to finally be like Jesus, then let’s just give up on this whole Christian thing. It doesn’t mean anything! If it’s just going to church on Sunday, then we have to stop pretending we’re following Jesus, because we’re just like everybody else—we are into power and money and deceit and war. If we do not preach the gospel, if we do not begin to live the gospel now, then let’s stop pretending that we care about Jesus or about following Jesus.

We are in a very scary position in the United States, and the whole world sees it. We are called to engage in a great mobilization, recognition, conversion, and transformation, because now the issues are too big, too real, and too right in front of us every day.

We cannot be silent any longer. Do not expect me to be silent, and I won’t expect you to be silent, either. It’s going to take courage. It’s going take each of us making little decisions in our little worlds to love, not just our neighbors, but even to pray for our enemies, to pray for our president, to pray for our country. If we can’t do these little things, what does it all mean?

    Loving is a daily choice and practice!

        Leta

October 30--Being a Decent Human

When we embark on intimate relationships, we make a basic human promise to be decent, to hold a flattering mirror up to each other, to be respectful as we explore each other.  --Lena Dunham 

    That certainly describes the ideal intimacy. Alas, we humans don't always measure up to the ideal. Otherwise there would be no domestic violence or the various forms of partner abuse. 

    On Monday I waited in a LONG line for one hour to vote. I am not complaining. The early voting lines have been consistently long, and folks keep coming. This is awesome! I saw a cartoon where one guy says to another, "I can hardly wait for election day so that we can stop arguing about the election and start arguing about the results!" I also overheard one man say to another: "I think it's going to be a shitshow no matter who wins." We are in for a wild ride, me thinks. 

        Leta

October 29--Reliability

Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.  --Marcus Aurelius

    I grew up in a mostly unpredictable environment, so I quickly adopted reliability as my No. 1 valuable characteristic in a human. I don't care if you have three heads, walk with a limp and smell bad, as long as you can be counted on to do what you say you will do. The opposites, the unreliables, I refer to as "flakes." I have friends in both categories, and I love them equally. I just know that the "flakes" are likely to change their minds, for instance, if they get a better offer. 

    What about me and my personal reliability? Because I want to forever avoid the "flake" designation, I am quite cautious about what I agree to, and I have no problem with the one-word sentence, "No." A wise spiritual mentor once stated that if you are doing something you do not want to be doing, you are doing someone else's job. 

    I guess that's why I keep posting every day--I'm reliable!!

        Leta

The sun and tides--RELIABLE!!