July 26--Day 2 Drive

When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings. 
--Thich Nhat Hanh

    I am a hugger. The pandemic and its aftermath ("stay away from me") really annoyed my hugging nature. Fortunately I know plenty of other huggers. I even have a couple of pickleball friends who will hug after we win an especially challenging point, sweaty bods and all. 

    I had an easy drive to Wentzville yesterday and a good visit with my in-laws. They like to go to bed early, which is great for me as I am leaving Wentzville by 5am this morning. 600 more miles, and let the fun begin!!!

    Stay tuned,

        Leta

Today's route

July 25--Road Trip! Yes! Again!

To have joy, one must share it.  --George Gordon Lord Byron

    I am on my way to sharing loads of joy. Today I start the journey east to Ohio for another vacation with my niece. I will spend tonight with my in-laws just west of St. Louis. They are an amazing couple still living independently at age 94, and they have been married for over 70 years. Holy cow. It will be fun to see them and catch up, and it is so lovely of them to host me overnight on my many driving adventures. 

    My niece and I will be visiting assorted relatives and spending a week at the beach in Ocean City, Maryland. I do believe that an exploration of Longwood Gardens is also in our future. The trip will include many rounds of Rummikub with all sorts of inventive expletives. The trip will be capped off with a Cubs-Guardians game in Cleveland. Alas, I will be the lone Cubs fan in our group. 😏

    On the road again 🎵🎵

        Leta

Road signs in my future 😃

July 24--We Can Do Better

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it. 
--John Steinbeck

    I believe we have seen an example of this quote in action with President Biden's decision to not run again. Whatever one's political leanings, his choice is an act of love and integrity that needs to be celebrated in a political climate woefully lacking in those two things. 

    The "best and most beautiful"--our magnificent Mother Earth--sustains us lovingly every moment of every day. Let us do a better job of living up to it--caring for the resources so freely given. 

        Leta

A sampling of our Mother's gifts

July 23--Freely Give

They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.  --Hindu Proverb

    This is another way of saying "what goes around comes around." Giving creates circulation which is necessary for survival--note such examples as blood flow or planetary winds. Withholding dams up the flow. There is an attitude involved here, too, be it living with generosity and gratitude or hoarding miserliness. Charles Dickens nailed it in "A Christmas Carol." 

    Giving does not require great wealth. Giving does not require great recognition or fanfare. A simple act of kindness is a great place to start. 

        Leta

Don't be a Scrooge!

July 22--Such an Interesting Time to Be Alive

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.  --George Eliot

    I was talking with friends yesterday, all of us over 60, about what historic and unusual times we have lived through. President Biden's decision is yet another item added to the list. Personally, I would love to have strong female energy at the head of our government.

    I leave you with the photo below which I took on our recent Colorado adventure. Three noteworthy stickers:

• Freedom means choice.
• Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. It's not pie.
• Keep your religion out of my government.

The last one above is my personal favorite.

        Leta

July 21--Blanket of Love

When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart. 
--Helen Fielding

    One of the benefits of the Twelve Step programs is that one gets to create/develop/envision one's own personal Higher Power. (Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.) HP could be the group, nature, the Big Guy on the Throne, whatever works for each individual. When I first started to take on my addiction, my HP was simply a snugly warm blanket that held me, making no demands of me, just holding me in love. I'm a strong advocate for each person creating their own useful version of HP, otherwise we don't maintain a vital connection to a Life greater than our own will can conceive. 

    And yes, I do have a blankie that I sleep with that reminds me of that HP love.

        Leta

Bright colors
(turquoise, pink, speckled, purple, yellow)
for the new grandbaby

July 20--Safely Home; Let the Healing Continue

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our natural lives.  --C. S. Lewis

From Father Richard Rohr:

Surrender will always feel like dying, and yet it’s the necessary path to liberation. It takes each of us a long time to just accept—to accept what is; to accept ourselves, others, the past, our own mistakes, and the imperfection and idiosyncrasies of almost everything. Our lack of acceptance reveals our basic resistance to life. Acceptance isn’t our mode nearly as much as aggression, resistance, fight, or flight. None of these responses achieve the deep, lasting results of true acceptance and peaceful surrender. Acceptance becomes the strangest and strongest kind of power. Surrender isn’t giving up, as we often think; it’s a giving to the moment, the event, the person, and the situation.

Our inner blockage to turning over our will is only overcome by a decision. It will not usually happen with a feeling, a mere idea, or a verse from religious Scripture. It is the will itself, our stubborn and self-defeating willfulness, that must first be converted and handed over. It doesn’t surrender easily, and usually only when it’s demanded of us by partners, parents, children, health, or circumstances. From the time we were young and according to our ability, we have all taken control and tried to engineer our own lives in every way possible.

============================

    The hardest thing I've ever faced is letting go of my adult children. The Rohr quote above describes me completely. I've had great difficulty with acceptance and plenty of resistance. This had manifested for me in a lengthy depression. My "decision" came at the beginning of this year, to live my intentions of 1) staying healthy and active, and 2) encouraging and allowing myself to be a happy human. Implementing this decision requires much prayer. 

    My efforts to simply be present and enjoy the family on this Colorado trip just completed were instances of surrender and acceptance for me. The process is not complete. There is still some emotional baggage for me. I remind myself of the 12-Step slogan: "we seek progress, not perfection."

    "Still crazy after all these years" (lyrics by Paul Simon),

        Leta 

July 19--Enjoying the Family

There are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement.  --Jane Austen  

    A huge family day yesterday was. On the way to our son's house, we picked up some Palisade peaches, an exceptional summertime treat. We arrived to a waffle and bacon breakfast. We collected stuff and walked to the neighborhood pool--that's son, grandson, husband and me. We had a great time playing with Luca in the pool. He was a very brave boy falling into his dad's arms from the side of the pool. 

    Son and grandson had lunch and nap time while my husband and I went to the Crown Pub where our other son works. We sat outside on a lovely afternoon and had a late lunch. Then around 4:00 we headed over to New Belgium Brewery for outdoor hanging. Our son and d-i-l both work there, so beers were "on the house" for us. Eventually the whole family congregated, and we had a great time hanging out, people-watching and enjoying the time together. We finished off with a lovely pasta dinner at our son's house. We said our parting goodbyes, including handshakes and kisses from our grandson. 

    I have a lot of mixed feelings about family in Colorado, related to the lengthy depression I went through (and am just recently climbing out of). I elected to set all that aside for this visit, and make every effort to simply be present to whatever and whomever was in front of me. I feel as though I did a fairly good job of that. Nevertheless, I can feel that I have much to process, bringing me back around to acceptance, forgiveness and surrender. 

    Homeward bound,

        Leta

One of Fort Collins' many 
painted utility boxes

July 18--HodgePodge

Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul.  --Teresa of Avila

I don’t know about you, but my biggest fear isn’t public speaking or dying alone, it’s that I might be a minute late to anything.  --Rev. Josh Reeves

    Part of my morning spiritual practice is assorted inspiring reading. That's where the Reeves quote comes from--I had to include it because it made me laugh out loud--that is totally me! Yesterday's three readings were all about acceptance, forgiveness and surrender. I do believe the Universe is trying to get through to me. This whole trip has those three items square in the front of my mind.

    Yesterday's fun-with-grandson included time at a playground with him and his mom. He's quite the adventurer now, climbing, sliding and spinning. It was a gorgeous, not-hot day. My husband and I had lunch at a lovely French sandwich shop. Places in Fort Collins usually have outside seating, which works so well with Barney. I accomplished a fine nap while my husband went shopping. Then it was off to babysit. That went really well, although Luca still won't let me hold him. He stayed attached to Grandpa D most of the time. We did take the two dogs and Luca for a late evening walk. Luca held onto Barney's leash most of the time--Barney adjusts his pace and the whole thing is adorable. 

    The other bonus of this trip was meeting our younger son's girlfriend of many months. She is quite adventuresome, and they seem very well matched and comfortable together. 

    More fam fun ahead!

        Leta

The sign says, "Your
smile warms this trail."

July 17--Family Fun

The pleasure of love is in loving. We are happier in the passion we feel than in that we inspire.  --Francois de la Rochefoucauld

    Route 70 in eastern Colorado is in terrible shape. The road is so rough, we feel battered after passing through that section. So we elected to take a detour on two lane roads through farmland and a few small towns. One of those we passed through had the no-doubt fine institution: Last Chance Community Church. LOL! Actually, I just learned that the tiny town's name IS Last Chance, which I guess makes it not so comical. 

    I had a great time playing with my grandson. I even got to read him a couple stories. Note that Dad and Mom don't want me to publish any photos of him, otherwise you could see how adorable he is! They are going to let us babysit him tonight while they go on a date. That's huge. Both have jobs and side hustles besides a 2-year-old and another arriving soon, so they need a break. We are so happy to support that!

    More fun today!

        Leta

Hoping to score some Palisade peaches...

July 16--More Please

Love is a power which produces love.  --Erich Fromm

    WOOHOO!!! I get to see, hug, cuddle, and play with my grandson today!! He's going to be a big brother in a couple of months, so more love is being "produced" as I write. 

    I leave you with this from "Every Day Spirit" by Mary Davis:

Bless my eyes to see goodness.

Bless my words to speak kindness. 

Bless my heart to feel compassion. 

Bless my soul to radiate love. 

    Let us spread these blessings lavishly!

        Leta

Bench decoration at Botanica, Wichita

July 15--We Are ALL Addicts

We live in the world when we love it.  --Rabindranath Tagore

Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation of July 14:

I am convinced that, on a practical level, the gospel message of Jesus and the Twelve Step message of Bill Wilson are largely the same message. The Twelve Step Program parallels, mirrors, and makes practical the same messages that Jesus gave us, but without as much danger of spiritualizing the message and pushing its effects into a future world.

Here are four assumptions that I am making about addiction:

We are all addicts. Human beings are addictive by nature. Addiction is a modern name and honest description for what the biblical tradition called “sin” and medieval Christians called “passions” or “attachments.” They both recognized that serious measures or practices were needed to break us out of these illusions and entrapments.

“Stinking thinking” is the universal addiction. Substance addictions like alcohol and drugs are merely the most visible forms of addiction, but actually we are all addicted to our own habitual ways of doing anything, our own defenses, and most especially, our patterned way of thinking and processing reality. These attachments are at first hidden to us; by definition, we can never see or handle what we are addicted to, but we cannot heal what we do not first acknowledge.

All societies are addicted to themselves and create deep codependency. There are shared and agreed-upon addictions in every culture and every institution. These are often the hardest to heal because they do not look like addictions. We have all agreed to be compulsive about the same things and unaware of the same problems. The gospel exposes those lies in every culture.

Some form of alternative consciousness is the only freedom from the addicted self and from cultural lies. If the universal addiction is to our own pattern of thinking, which is invariably dualistic, the primary spiritual path must be some form of contemplative practice or prayer to break down this unhelpful binary system of either-or thinking and superiority thinking. Prayer is a form of non-dual resting in “what is.” Eventually, this contemplative practice changes our whole operating system! 

Let me sum up, then. These are the foundational ways that I believe Jesus and the Twelve Steps of AA are saying the same thing but with different vocabulary:

• We suffer to get well.
• We surrender to win.
• We die to live.
• We give it away to keep it.

This counterintuitive wisdom will forever be resisted, denied, and avoided, until it’s forced upon us by some reality over which we are powerless—and, if we’re honest, we are all powerless in the presence of full Reality.

We are all spiritually powerless, not just those who are physically addicted to a substance. Alcoholics simply have their powerlessness visible for all to see. The rest of us disguise it in different ways, and overcompensate for our more hidden and subtle addictions and attachments.

I am continually in awe and gratitude for the wisdom of the founders of the Twelve Step program.

    Leta

On The Ledge in Chicago...
isn't that where all of life is!?!!?

July 14--How Big Is Your World?

We are biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong.  --Brene Brown

    The word "belong" is sticking out for me in this quote. One of the things that concerns me as I get older is the idea of my world becoming smaller. What does that mean? I've seen older folks become less active, less involved, having less social interaction, and becoming more and more isolated. This may be due to physical or health issues, retirement, or even by choice. I'm an introvert by nature, so I often have to nudge (shove!) myself to participate in society. Our families are all far away--how long will we be able to travel to see them? I'm becoming less interested in playing golf--that's a whole set of folks that I could drift away from. I'm enjoying simulated patient work and pickleball, and I've met and reconnected with many folks via those efforts. Traveling is still "number 1" on my agenda, but for how long? 

    Writing this makes me realize that the fine balance of belonging vs. isolation is my choice, at least for now. I am blessed in that the only limit I have at the moment is my tendency to be a hermit. If I make the effort, my world continues to be just the right size. 

    Still showing up,

        Leta

My favorite Chicago photo--
Wrigley Field from my airplane
circling to land

July 13--Choice Words

Life must be rich and full of loving--it's no good otherwise, no good at all, for anyone.  --Jack Kerouac

    As a die-hard Cubs fan, I'm pleased to report that the Cubs swept a 3-game series against Baltimore in Baltimore. This is huge, as the Orioles are one of MLB's best teams and the Cubs have been sucking badly. In Thursday night's game, the Cubs 3rd baseman made a great play to get a close out at first. Jim Deshaies, Cubs TV announcer, said, "Just pick it and flick it." This made me laugh out loud because when my younger son was about five years old, he announced to me, very profoundly, "Mom, I've decided to stop eating my boogers. I just like pickin' 'em and flickin' 'em."

    Let us not take life or ourselves too seriously!

        Leta

Nicholas Krushenick, "Elephant Spoons"
Art Institute of Chicago

July 12--How Much Is Too Much?

Who would live and not love?  --Rachel Russell

    I am a person who is extremely wary of the medical profession. In my opinion, they are way too ready to do tests, procedures, etc. that are often unnecessary or even harmful. As of this week, this sentiment now includes the veterinary realm. Barney had a small wound on top of his paw for a couple weeks. He was taking care of it, and it did not affect his ability to walk. He would lick it occasionally, but it was healing. For some reason, my husband panicked and took him to the vet. Given the time of year and past history, a grass awn was suspected. There was NO infection. The vet gave him a local numbing to look at his paw, and when she could find nothing, she put him under general anesthesia and cut his paw open searching and found nothing. This left him virtually comatose for over 24 hours. Our usually vibrant pup just laid around looking sad. It was about 30 hours before he would eat and drink. This cost us $364 and his paw looks worse than when he went in, and it also has a staple in it that must be removed at the vet office. I am not a happy camper. Barney is not either. Barney looks at us like we have betrayed him, and I feel like that is the case. And by the way, the staple fell out somewhere already. 

    Thank goodness, Barney is one tough boy.

        Leta

Poor Barney, I'm sorry!

July 11--Only Love Works

Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.  --Euripides

    One does not have to step very far back to see what fools we humans are. We don't even need to go out into space to see that war, violence and environmental destruction are not helpful in any way. STOP IT!

    While exploring Chicago this past weekend, we had loads of time for people-watching. Truly we saw every version of humanity--skin color, culture, ethnicity, personal hygiene, extreme wealth, wretched poverty. At one point I wondered to my niece how many different languages we heard being spoken during our time there. Alas, here is a headline from a Chicago news station: "19 killed, 84 wounded in shootings across Chicago during holiday weekend." 

    What did that violence accomplish but sorrow? 

    I saw a meme that wisely suggested: "What if we don't have a President and we all just agree to be cool?"

    Love is our best option to reunite the Divided States of America with ourselves and the world. 

        Leta 

Georgia O'Keefe, "Red Hills with Flowers,"
Art Institute of Chicago

July 10--Love Is It

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.  --George Sand

    The photo below is a humorous take on one's love of coffee. Couldn't resist!

    Mr. Sand is right--love is the best. The niece with whom I explored Chicago is the daughter of my dear brother Arlie who passed in April. We spent a good amount of time remembering him, his personality and quirks, and our last times with him. The final words each of us had exchanged with him were "I love you."

    Today, once again, or twice, or three times, release more love into the world.

        Leta

July 9--Re-Centering

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.  --Elbert Hubbard

    It is taking a lot of breathing, centering, and patience to get through the frustration of the challenging trip home and re-entry into "regular" life. Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation of July 3 offers soothing relief:

Mystic and theologian Howard Thurman (1899–1981) writes of the contemplative practice of making time to “center down”:

How good it is to center down!

To sit quietly and see one’s self pass by!

The streets of our minds seethe with endless traffic;

Our spirits resound with clashings, with noisy silences,

While something deep within hungers and thirsts for the still

moment and the resting lull.…

The questions persist: what are we doing with our lives?—

what are the motives that order our days?

What is the end of our doings? Where are we trying to go?…

Over and over the questions beat in upon the waiting moment.

As we listen, floating up through all the jangling echoes

of our turbulence, there is a sound of another kind—

A deeper note which only the stillness of the heart

makes clear.

It moves directly to the core of our being. Our questions are

answered,

Our spirits refreshed, and we move back into the traffic of

our daily round

With the peace of the Eternal in our step.

How good it is to center down!

    Peace be with us all.
        Leta

Monarch on hibiscus, The Butterfly House, Chicago

July 8--The Perfect Storm--for American Airlines

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.  --Kurt Vonnegut

    My niece and I slept in on Sunday, our last day in Chicago. We packed our stuff and left it for the front desk to lock away while we played on our final day. We took the bus downtown and went first to the huge Apple store on the Riverwalk to attempt to get a fix on my niece's phone. No luck there. Then we went to Millennium Park to photograph ourselves by the "Bean." We walked south to the Art Institute and spent a glorious couple of hours there; photos will eventually appear on the blog. Then we moseyed further south on Michigan Avenue, until I looked to my right and exclaimed "Kilwins!!!!" These are stores with outstanding ice cream, candies and fudge, and I have been to them in Fort Collins and Panama City Beach. Therefore, ice cream landed on the agenda immediately. We sat on a low ledge to eat, and had several people say, "Where did you get that!?!?!" 

    We decided to find a tavern and have a final parting beer, so we walked west on Van Buren to Franklin Tap. After about an hour sitting outside, the rain started, so we moved in. It rained, but it was a small shower. It did slightly delay the start of the Nascar race downtown, which we were watching on the bar TV. We reminisced about our totally fabulous time in the Windy City.

    Next we walked the few blocks to our hotel on Franklin, picked up our luggage, and took the bus to the Blue Line "L" station, and off we went to O'hare Airport. While we were riding there, we passed through a strong rain. 

    I want to offer praise for my cell phone and GPS and Google Maps. Without it, we would have been two very lost tourists. It gave me all the bus and "L" routes and stops, and we never took a wrong bus (though there was much bus rerouting due to the Nascar races downtown). 

    We hiked on over to our terminal, got through security, and checked the monitors. Note that when I flew into Chicago, it was extremely overcast, and there was a LOT of turbulence. Obviously we landed safely. Now we in Kansas KNOW storms. American Airlines are big pussies, because they canceled my flight. Of course they blamed it on "weather" so they did not have to compensate for their actions. I kid you not, the sun was shining in Chicago, and my husband in Kansas confirmed that it was dry all day. GRRRRR! 

    Long story short--my husband (my hero) drove to Tulsa (3 hrs) to pick me up, and we got home at 1:45am this morning. My niece's flight to Cleveland was delayed, finally canceled, she spent the night in the airport, and called me just a bit ago to say she was finally home. 

    We are hanging onto the thread that at least we got home safely. I guess the "charmed life" quota had run out for this trip!

    Planning on a nap today,

        Leta

July 7--Our Huge Saturday

If it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts.  --Leo Tolstoy

    Well, the Cubs lost 7-0 yesterday (Saturday), so it was "charmed life" that we went to Friday's game! 

    Holy Cow! What a day we had yesterday. We took the bus to Navy Pier and had time before the Architecture Tour to tour the very new (2 weeks open) Butterfly House. Photos from there will be on future posts. We had a gloriously sunny day and a great guide for the Arch Tour. I learned that they are no longer blaming Mrs. O'Leary and her cow for the Great Chicago Fire. 

    Off the ship, we began the long walk to the end of Navy Pier. We stopped to ride the Navy Pier Wheel, the giant ferris wheel. These positively terrify me, so I'm not sure why I keep riding them. It took me about five minutes of deep breathing to be able to keep my eyes open. I kept them open for at least one revolution. We had an Italian beef sandwich for lunch, a Chicago specialty. The end of Navy Pier gave us a show by two guys doing tricks on jet skis. Heading back toward downtown, we stopped at the Beer Garden and had beers while listening to a blues band. 

    We took the bus back to our hotel for a late afternoon snooze. Our evening adventure was the Skydeck at Willis (formerly Sears) Tower, just a few blocks from our hotel, so we walked there. We found a Mexican restaurant and had supper and margaritas, then hung out till our ticketed time. The elevator zooms you up to the 103rd floor. It was a clear evening for city viewing. And yes, we did step out on the Ledge, photo below. And I did let go of the wall!

    Next we took a bus downtown. Due to bus re-routings for the Nascar races, we ended up with a long walk back to Navy Pier. We had a drink at an outside bar waiting for fireworks. Folks just sat down everywhere near the water's edge, and we were treated to a lovely "oooo, ahhh!" show. The biggest adventure of the day was the bus ride back to our hotel. Just getting on the #124 with all those people--it was a mad mob rush to get on. It was packed, standing room only. I had two folks offer me their seat, so kind, but I declined. At one point, the bus driver yelled, "Hang on, I'm making a right turn!" and she turned left. WHOA! Most other folks got off before our stop, so it calmed down considerably. 

    A LONG, glorious, fun-filled, love-overflowing, charmed-life day!!!

        Leta

On the Ledge

From the Wheel, proof that I did it!

July 6--YES! Sing the Song!

Everyone longs to be loved. And the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.  --Fred Rogers

    After the Cubs win a home game, they play "Go, Cubs, Go" and the entire stadium sings it. Of course, I know all the words. My goal was to get to sing it, meaning the Cubs won. Yes, they did, 5-1. We sang. I was in heaven. 

    Before the game we roamed around Wrigleyville sight-seeing and people-watching. We had a beer at the Cubbie Bear bar, a must on game day. 

    My niece and I love to play Rummikub, but we both neglected to bring a game with us. So after taking the subway from the game back near our hotel, we scoped out a Target. We bought the game and assorted snacks and decided on a relaxing evening of Rummikub. 

    Today we do the Architecture Tour on the river and Skydeck Chicago.  

    I LOVE this priceless time with my niece!

        Leta

July 5--Breathe and Love

We need love in order to live happily, as much as we need oxygen in order to live at all.  --Marianne Williamson  

    I often remind my students that breathing is the most important thing we humans do. Maybe not. Maybe loving is the most important. 

    My niece and I had a great first day in Chicago. Our flights arrived on time, and we somehow found each other at the baggage claim. We took the subway downtown, my niece's first ever subway ride, and dropped our luggage at the hotel. We went to a nearby Giordano's for deep dish pizza, then took the bus to the Shedd Aquarium.
    We are "two peas in a pod"--we came back to the hotel and napped, then walked to a brew pub for supper. We walked almost 7 miles total.
    Today--Wrigleyville and the Cubs game, my baseball heaven!

        Leta

One of the amazing creatures at the Shedd Aquarium

July 4--Here We Go Again!

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.  --John F. Kennedy

    Let freedom ring!!! Let us appreciate what freedom we still have!

    "I'm leaving on a jet plane." 🎵🎵 Today my niece and I meet up for a fun long weekend in Chicago. On the agenda today is to meet up at O'Hare Airport, take the subway downtown, drop off our luggage at our hotel, find some lunch and spend the afternoon at the Shedd Aquarium. 

    I'm hoping for a much-needed break from the Wichita heat in Chicago. Temps are predicted in the low 80s. I can't be in Chicago without going to a Cubs game at Wrigley. That happens Friday. Let us all pray for a miracle that the Cubs win that game--they are in last place and sinking fast. Nevertheless, I remain a die-hard fan 😏

    Stay tuned for travel adventures, because "I lead a charmed life, especially when traveling." (You are free to borrow this mantra for yourself!)

        Leta

We shall soon see the Sea Otters!

July 3--A Very BIG Question

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  --Buddha

    The insight below is from spiritual director Ruth Haley Barton:

Many of us try to shove spiritual transformation into the nooks and crannies of a life that is already unmanageable, rather than being willing to arrange our life for what our heart most wants. We think that somehow we will fall into transformation by accident.

Christian tradition has a name for the structure that enables us to say yes to the process of spiritual transformation day in and day out. It is called a rule of life. A rule of life seeks to respond to two questions: Who do I want to be? How do I want to live? … [or] the interplay between these two questions: How do I want to live so I can be who I want to be?

I would offer that if one can answer the highlighted question and implement the answer in one's life--that is the ultimate in self-affection. 

        Leta

July 2--A Good Day

What is done in love is done well.  --Vincent Van Gogh

    This comes from "Every Day Spirit" by Mary Davis:

Be present.

Let the day flow with grace.

Expect joy. Be positive.

Serve with compassion.

Speak only kindness.

Impart only love.

Never forget you're not alone.

Give thanks for everything.

See goodness in others.

    May our days be full of these blessings!

        Leta

Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

July 1--Affection

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.  --Mother Teresa

    The theme for July in "Daily Love" is affection. My son told me recently that my 22-month-old grandson was trying to kiss other little kids at the playground. Our very nature is loving and affectionate from day one. We need that to survive. Alas, that natural exuberant love has to be reined in to an appropriate level--also necessary for our survival. 

    In a world that seems to be getting nastier, meaner and ruder all the time, let us be kind. Smile. Say "please." Say "thank you." Call people by name. Life flows much more smoothly this way. 

    Give someone a hug today,

        Leta

"Playmates" at Botanica, Wichita

June 30--WHAT!?!?!!

Communication is truth; communication is happiness... to conceal nothing; to pretend nothing; if we are ignorant to say so; if we love our friends to let them know it.  --Virginia Woolf

    We're going for the goofy here...

    This is one of those big unanswerable, meaning-of-life questions... why, since they can fly, do Canada geese walk (i.e. mosey) across the street? If I could fly just with my current physical body, I'd be flying all over the place at every opportunity. 

    Today is the last day of June, half of 2024 behind us, and we close out the month's topic of bravery. Living as Ms. Woolf suggests is certainly a path of bravery. 

    On Friday night, I went to the Artichoke to hear my husband and his friend play music. There was a guy there wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm fat because every time I fu*k your mother, she makes me a sandwich." Dennis' musical partner read that aloud over the mic, and I about peed myself laughing. It takes some bravery to wear a shirt like that. 

    Alas, the Cubs have been sucking. But at the beginning of the game, Michael Busch hit a homer on the first pitch he saw. Boog Sciambi (announcer) said that he has done that four times this year and leads the league in that happening. So JD (other announcer) says, "Does that mean we should call him Am-busch?!?!" Boog couldn't talk for a while because he was laughing so hard. Even though the Cubs suck, the announcers are my favorites!

    Humor--can't live without it!

        Leta

"The Big Mosey" on my drive home Friday night

June 29--Freedom!

You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free. 
--Thich Nhat Hanh

    My husband and I have done a fairly good job of this. We have very different interests which each of us gets to enjoy a lot. He is into music, bicycling, catering work, and projects, and I am into pickleball, swimming, baseball, gardening, and travel, to offer up a few examples. Every now and then I will jokingly say, "Will you let me do that?" We get a good laugh out of it because there is no "let" involved. We work out our schedules and do what we want. Therefore, when we reconvene, we have much to talk about. I would also note that we did not include "obey" in the wedding vows. 😉😉

    Onward to more adventures,

        Leta

More beauty from my garden

June 28--Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.  --Lemony Snicket

    I've been sitting here attempting to come up with times wherein I have stayed put and what I wanted came to me. I'm much more the type to go out into the world and find it for myself. 

    However, I am sitting here waiting for my cup of coffee which my husband sweetly delivers to me each morning after completing his "first thing" ritual of making excellent pour-over coffee. 

    So I finally gave up on staying put because my husband slept through his alarm. So what I wanted did not come to me!

    I have done some things in my life that I consider, in hindsight, fu?*&%$ing crazy. Part of my MLB 30-stadium quest was to go to three games on three consecutive nights in Atlanta, Tampa, and Miami, driving the whole gig by myself. Given my quest, I had to go out and get it. I have also gone skydiving, one goal of that being overcoming fear. You can't do a lot of fear-conquering by staying put. 

    Generally on the move,

        Leta

An anchor to help
with the "stay put" 
option...

June 27--Are We Good?

It is essential that we be convinced of the goodness of human nature, and we must act as though people are good.  --John Cage

    I do believe this in my soul, but everyday life makes me wonder quite often. There is an extraordinary amount of old white male greedy corrupt power-hungry patriarchal energy out there--I believe that it is having a slow kicking-and-screaming death that can't come soon enough for me. Much of the goodness of humanity, and especially in politics, has been buried by this. Then there is the pariah that is former President Trump, who has made nastiness, rudeness and revenge the modus operandi of his flock of supporters. (Note that the word "flock" is very specifically chosen!)

    On the bright side--I see headlines nearly every day about folks working to help clean up the environment and create sustainable energy. Folks work tirelessly in communities to help heal long-term wounds and bring people together in high-functioning ways. I do believe the overall consciousness of humanity is changing for the better. Alas, it's a slow process.

    We can do our part by having a "good" day,

        Leta

The goodness of Nature--
the basil seedlings have flourished!

June 26--Always Choosing

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.  --Nora Ephron

    I can say for me that the off-and-on depression I have experienced over the past couple of years has felt very much like I'm the victim of my life. I don't like that, because I have many more instances of being the heroine. This quote is a good "wake-up call" to continue with my intentions of 1) to stay healthy and active, and 2) to encourage and allow myself to be a happy human. Those are heroine rather than victim intentions. 

    What other ways might demonstrate being the hero or heroine of your life? Practicing good self-care. Doing work you love. Putting your talents out into the world. Life-long learning. Being kind and useful. Dreaming great dreams and making them happen. Allowing emotions to flow freely and move on. Letting those you love know it. 

    What ways of living emphasize the victim's stance? Blaming. Resentment. Disappointment. Giving up. Self-pity. Fear. 

    I have been both the heroine and victim in my life, probably always will be, even being both on any given day. I prefer the heroine role.

        Leta

In my front yard!

June 25--What's Your Impact?

Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference.   
--David Nicholls

    "Good and courageous and bold" can mean many different things to us humans. On some days, just getting out of bed and engaging the world fits the bill. It may be climbing a mountain or skydiving or bungee-jumping. It may be telling someone, "I love you." It may be facing a serious illness or grieving the passing of a loved one. 

    What about "making a difference"? We all have interactions with others each day that make a difference. Then there are the "save the world," life-changing differences like the inventions of the printing press, light bulbs and airplanes. We all need to make a difference whether it be large or small--every one matters.

    Circulating love makes a difference--do that boldly!

        Leta

Coneflowers blooming in my garden

June 24--Loving Grief?

Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. 
--William Paul Young

    I've been dealing with grief nearly non-stop for almost two years now, some related to deaths, some not. The challenge is to trust the love of Spirit for me enough to believe that I can "trust the process." Note "for me" in italics--it is easy for me to know that Spirit loves everyone and everything, but even me, too?!?!?! Sometimes in grief it is hard for me to feel loved. 

    Here is a wonderful descriptive of grief by Richard Rohr:

Perhaps the simplest and most inclusive definition of grief is “unfinished hurt.” It feels like a demon spinning around inside of us and it hurts too much, so we immediately look for someone else to blame. We have to learn to remain open to our grief, to wait in patient expectation for what it has to teach us. When we close in too tightly around our sadness or grief, when we try to fix it, control it, or understand it, we only deny ourselves its lessons... Many of us have been taught that grief and sadness are something to repress, deny, or avoid. We would much rather be angry than sad.

    I have found myself more often angry than sad, confessing to the rush of self-righteous anger. Early life indoctrination that showing anger is inappropriate, however, still causes me to work hard at containing the anger and pretending it is not there. 

    I saw a meme recently that said, "Does the process know we are trusting it?!?!?!" There you have it. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta

At Panama City Beach

June 23--Time to Breathe

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.  --Lao-Tzu

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. Only in this way shall we live without the fatigue of bitterness and the drain of resentment.  --Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

    I am simply pondering both of these quotes in light of my unsettled state of many months. Here is a practice by Indigenous author and poet Pixie Lighthorse:

I allow oxygen to infuse my cells with life force,

breathing into the constricted places in my body

that have grown tight with fear.

    I expect there are several places in my body that have grown tight with fear. 

    Breathe!

        Leta

The "Stargazers" are blooming
in my garden!!!

 

bjh

June 22--The Work Is Inside

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and hands, and then work outward from there.  --Robert M. Pirsig

    Well, dang. Something tells me that it would be a lot easier to change YOU rather than ME. But dang again, it doesn't work that way. That's why the Serenity Prayer is a mantra for so many folks:

Note that when I say the prayer, instead of beseeching God for serenity, I say it affirmatively: "God grants me..." That way I am not waiting on God to deliver. I have serenity if I choose to recognize it.

    Folks who are at war with themselves cannot create peace in the world. 

        Leta

June 21--Learning to Appreciate

I have learned not to worry about love, but to honor its coming with all my heart. 
--Alice Walker

    I have been watching an extraordinary documentary series called "Epic Yellowstone" on Paramount+. I often write about appreciating and caring for our magnificent Mother Earth. This series will give you an amazing insight into the world's first national park. I learned so much. The cinematography is phenomenal. Everyone needs to have an understanding of such a complex ecosystem, from the tiniest bug to the largest bison, from the river depths to the mountain peaks, every bit of it intertwined and essential to the health of the whole. That's true all over the Earth. 

    In my drive to Clearwater last night, I noticed another area along south Tyler Road where they have wiped out more trees and are building more houses. Do we really need more houses?!?!? Is that progress? What is "progress" really? More often than not, it involves more habitat destruction. They are expanding in all directions from Wichita. Who is moving into all those apartments going up? People are not flocking to Kansas, trust me. 

    We need to take much better care of our Mother before we all suffocate in our own garbage (i.e., STUFF). 

        Leta

June 20--One More Time

Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. 
--Maya Angelou

    Here are words by psychotherapist James Finley in support of Ms. Angelou's wisdom:

It is in experiencing and accepting how difficult it can be to free ourselves from our hurtful attitudes and ways of treating ourselves and others that we begin to understand that the healing path is not a linear process in which we can force our way beyond our wounded and wounding ways. Rather, it is a path along which we learn to circle back again and again to cultivate within ourselves a more merciful understanding of ourselves as we learn to see, love, and respect the still-confused and wounded aspects of ourselves. Insofar as these wounded and wounding aspects of ourselves recognize that they are seen, loved, and respected in such a merciful way, they can feel safe enough to release the pain they carry into the more healed and whole aspects of ourselves.

    It is no small challenge to love the wounded parts of ourselves, "one more time and always one more time."

        Leta

Butterfly in Legos at Botanica, Wichita

June 19--Some Say Love...

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.  --Xiaolu Guo

    I recognized this quote as a song lyric, and here it is: "The Rose" sung by Bette Midler and written by Amanda McBroom...

… Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

… Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

… It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

… It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

… When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

… Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

    If you click on the title/link above, you can listen. You may cry. I did.

        Leta

June 18--Your Trust Level?

Love meant jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.  --Jodi Picoult

    This is a tough one to write about. I'm not sure I've ever had that level of trust in anyone. I'm fully aware that is on me, not on the other person(s). Being in a 12-Step program for decades has made me a much more trusting person, but I'm certainly not at the "jump off a cliff" level. I'm thinking that the sudden death of my Grammie (maternal grandmother) when I was four, my mother's subsequent inability to "catch me" when needed, and my older brother Ken's constant verbal abuse contributed quite a bit to my unwillingness to trust. 

    I am pondering that trust encompasses both physical and emotional safety. I have felt physically safe pretty much all my life. Feeling emotionally unsafe is another issue, and it goes way back and continues to this day. 

    Ahhh, yes, patterns do repeat themselves. Would my mother have jumped expecting my dad to catch her? Hell, no. But my dad would have been there, grudgingly, to try to catch her. Operating out of duty and out of trust are two different things. 

    I'm rambling, I'm done,

        Leta

The world has plenty of cliffs to leap from...
this is in England.

June 17--Starts Out Scary

What wonderful thing didn't start out scary?  --Isaac Marion

    Let's go right back to the beginning--birth. If that isn't scary, what is!?!?!? It's a wonderful thing, but the little one goes from a dark, cozy, warm immersion in Mom to a world of bright light, giants and a bazillion new sensations. 

    I have gone skydiving. S-C-A-R-Y doesn't even come close. I'd say it was pure and utter terror until we actually stepped into the free fall, then it was wonderful. It became even more wonderful when my tandem partner and I landed safely. 

    Travel--scary to leave home, wonderful trip follows. 

    New job--can I do this? will I fit in? turns into a dream job.

    New hobby--will I look foolish? can I learn this? turns into hours of wonderful fun.

    Weather--scary thunderstorms bring wonderful rain. 

    Fear and wonder coexist,

        Leta

This is me. Golfing has become
more scary than wonderful!

June 16--HUGE Love in a TINY Package

We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.  --Rainer Maria Rilke

    Dean Koontz is an extraordinary writer of mystery and suspense novels. However, the first book I read by him was "A Big Little Life" about his first dog, a Golden Retriever. 

    This is a "big little life" story. 

    I have been seeing the same massage therapist for, I'm guessing, probably two decades now. I have followed her through several moves. I see her once a month consistently. For much of the time, she has been accompanied by the adorable pup pictured below, Lily. Early on, Lily was at the office with her, and she would be in her crate making adorable squeaking noises. It was always a treat to snuggle all 1-2 pounds of her. To look at Lily, humans would say she was handicapped. She had a leg issue that made her gait awkward, but it was no handicap to Lily. She went wherever she wanted to. For a while, Lily's mom, Susan, left her at home. Then a couple years back she started bringing her to the office again. I would go a little early so that I could hold and snuggle Lily. For a tiny thing, she had quite a bark and a feisty personality! 

    Last Friday when I went for my massage, Lily wasn't there. Something told me to wait till we were finished to ask. That was a good intuition following. A few weeks prior to my visit, Susan was visiting her sister, and her sister's dog killed Lily. What a horrid, heart-breaking happening!!!! Tears flowed. 

    I am always in awe at the effect pets have on us. It is ineffable. It doesn't matter if they weigh 100 pounds or 1 pound. 

    Lily, I know you are romping in doggie heaven, but we miss you! Big hugs and love to Lily's mom as she grieves. 

    Love up your pets--they are mystical magical bundles of love!

        Leta