October 21-Warts and All

You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws.  --Cecelia Ahern

    One of the common characteristics of addicts is a "magic magnifying mind." I've got one of those, too prone to way too much drama. One of the jokes in recovery circles is that when the car breaks down, normal people call a tow-truck and/or repair place; addicts call suicide prevention. 

    So in the places where I am experiencing dramatic frustrations in life, I am trying to come up with more moderate ways to look at things. This also helps with the character defect of self-pity that I have written about recently. My spouse annoys me. Doesn't everyone's spouse annoy them?!?! I note that I am most likely equally annoying to my spouse. This is not cause to terrorize myself with thoughts of divorce or moving away! Anxiety shows up in me as a terrifying imagination. I could have had a great career making horror flicks. 

    "Calm down, Leta. This, too, shall pass."    

        Leta

  

October 20--Nothing to Prove

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.  --Maya Angelou

    I remind myself often that I have "nothing to prove to anybody," but like all of life, it's a daily practice. It is especially challenging for this codependent person! As I sit here and ponder this quote, I realize that painting has helped me with this. I'm never going to be a da Vinci, and I'm really OK with that. The key is to enjoy my playtime with paints and know that whatever comes through me is unique to me and quite enough!

    Birthday fun continues... my younger son called with birthday wishes and a friend from grad school called and we had a lovely catch-up chat. Our three best-buds set from grad school--all of us had two sons. What are the chances?!?!! 

    SUPER birthday bonus--I learned yesterday that my great-niece had her daughter on my birthday 😂 I am now a great-great-aunt three times over. 

    Let the fun continue!

        Leta

Leta's current fun-with-paints

October 19--What A Day!!

Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.  --Henry James

    My birthday started with a 5am wakeup to squeeze in all the fun I planned. How can a day be bad when it starts with doggie belly-rubs?!?! I completed a 30-lap swim, shower and coffee purchase and was back home before the sun came up. I enjoyed my coffee while doing my daily readings. 

    I worked a bit on my current straight-line painting, then took Barney for a walk. We are having glorious fall weather and the leaves are just beginning to change color. Then I drove to Moxi Junction in Maize, where AARP was buying breakfast treats for all the guests. I attributed that special event to it being my birthday 😉😉 and enjoyed a cinnamon roll. Then I went to three estate sales. I found no treasures, but I love to look. At noon I had a lovely massage. Then I practiced my daily hobby of napping. 

    Party time! I reserved game tables at Side Pockets Sports Bar, and 15 or so friends showed up to eat, drink, play cards and Rummikub. It was a blast. This was an "inaugural event" as I hope to get folks together regularly at a bar for Rummikub. There is plenty of enthusiasm to carry us forward. 

    The day was capped off by a birthday wish from my older son along with photos of both grandsons. 

    Happy to be here!

        Leta

"Keeper of the Plains"
Love my Wichita home!

October 18--Party Time!!!

Real, sane, mature love--the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school--is not based on infatuation but on affection and respect.  --Elizabeth Gilbert

    Today is my birthday! Another trip around the sun has been completed, and I'm hoping for many more! I have made celebration plans which I shall report on here tomorrow. It's a treat to have a Friday birthday. As such it shall include my usual Friday fun of swimming and visiting several estate sales. 

     Back to the Gilbert quote... amen! Infatuation doesn't last long. I suppose it is a necessary part of the process, but I'll take long-term affection and respect any day. I often say that the two best things in one's financial life are 1) the mortgage is paid off, and 2) the kids are supporting themselves. Those are both evidence of mature love. 

    Big fun day ahead!

        Leta

MOXI Junction, coffehouse in Maize,
another favorite Friday morning spot

October 17--Encouragement Appreciated

Our chief want in life is someone who shall make us do what we can. 
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Do I want someone who will make me clean? I don't think so!

    Moving on... I think this is more in line with wanting someone who will strongly encourage us to use our Spirit-given talents. My husband's parents made all three sons take piano lessons as youngsters. Two of the three have been active life-long musicians. What a gaping hole there would have been in my husband's life without using his musical talents. I had an extremely creative mother who had the infinite patience to teach me to sew and crochet and in general planted the "creativity bug" in me. She is also responsible for my "travel bug." My life would have been so different without those encouragements. 

    When I was in training for my spiritual coaching certification, I was at an event with my teachers and other students and ministers. I volunteered to offer a prayer. Afterwards, one of my teachers basically said that I didn't do it right. Another minister overheard that, pulled me aside later and said, "Don't let that bother you. Once you get your license, you can pray however the hell you want!" And I do!

    Off and running,

        Leta

October 16--Gettin' Fancy

Love is the expression of the one who loves, not of the one who is loved. Those who think they can love only the people they prefer do not love at all. Love discovers truths about individuals that others cannot see.  --Soren Kierkegaard

    Although I see the truth of this quote, I have a LONG way to go to truly love those whom I don't prefer! It is hard enough sometimes to love those I do prefer.

    I have been sewing since I was probably eight or nine years old, taught by a mother who was both an outstanding seamstress and perfectionist. Back then I made my own clothes. That's what a thrifty person did. I don't sew much any more--it is not the economical practice it used to be. I mainly mend or make the occasional "project." 

    When I was last visiting my niece and we were playing Rummikub, we would put the tiles in a small beat-up paper bag to draw from. I promised her I would come up with a nicer set-up. I found the silicone steamer basket on Amazon which is the perfect-size tile-holding tub. At the fabric store, the colorful fabric jumped out at me as "the one," and it even matches the tub. I measured, cut and sewed the bags, one for the tub and one for the racks. This makes for easy transport, as my niece and friends often take the game to brew pubs and play. I mailed the tub and drawstring bags to my niece. She called as soon as she opened it, laughing, and said, "Oh my god, did you make these?!?!?" Yes! She is happy to have such a nice portable Rummikub setup. 

    Mission accomplished!!

        Leta

October 15--All Alone at the Pity Party

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference. 
--A. A. Milne

    I am fully aware that I am spoiled. I have been since birth. I am also aware that the other side of the "spoiled coin" is self-pity. I've been recognizing this character defect in vibrant, living color lately. Yesterday's reading in AA's "Daily Reflections" offered this: "Before we begin [our day], we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives." 

    OK! OK! I get the message. One thing I recognize as pulling me into self-pity is having too much idle time. Another is procrastinating on creative projects. I am much happier when I am working on a painting. (To my credit, I have scrounged up some canvases to play with.) I was scrolling through my calendar for the next couple of months and found this note-to-self in November: "Make treats for the neighbors instead of being Christmas-grumpy." Clearly self-pity is a long-standing defect!

    Milne's quote is the solution!

        Leta