I'm pretty much an introvert. I have lots of friends and family whom I enjoy being with, but I really love my alone time. I crave it. I like being with me. I like me.
Who knows where my introvert nature comes from? Growing up with addict parents who fought a lot? Wanting only to be left alone with my own substance of choice and best friend, food? Being teased mercilessly about being fat? Needing to hide out so as not to cause any more trouble around the house? Who knows! In any case, I learned early on that I was just fine with and by myself, thank you very much.
Everything that has happened in my life has brought me to this point, where I can say that I am generally comfortable in my own skin. The shittier experiences have taught me understanding, compassion and how to forgive and make amends. My addiction led me to 12-step recovery where I learned how to live successfully without obsessive substance abuse. Without the obsession, a whole new world opened up to me, and I have been blessed to take advantage of many awesome opportunities in my life.
Maybe it's age. At 64, it's just not worth the effort to try to be someone I'm not. I don't believe I need to prove anything to anyone any more. My relationships are satisfying, as is the work that I do. I use my skills well. All this means that I have the freedom to revel in who I am, "warts and all."
I'm OK, you're OK, yippee!
Leta
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