Saturday, May 30, 2020

May 30--JOY!

Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being; not our dream, but a human being with flaws. --Anais Nin

     Husband, dog and I are in Fort Collins visiting our sons and family. Due to the pandemic lock-down, this is one of the longer stretches we've had between visits, and it has been torture, mostly because we just couldn't predict when this visit might happen. We reunited last evening, and I managed not to hug them, though I can't say I'll make it through the whole visit 6' away. The whole situation is flawed (not what I would have chosen for 2020), but as a family we are adjusting and coping as best we can. All three kids (sons, Derek and Eliot, and Derek's partner, Caila) work with the public (FedEx, Starbucks, Whole Foods), so the big fear here is that they could be carriers and infect us, their "higher risk" parents.
     I have been blessed with a long marriage of 34 years so far. It certainly started out as the dream, young, in-love, happy, excited to build a life together. That construction is a messy, complicated process which does ultimately reveal our flawed humanity. We're good at some things and not good at others. We have baggage from growing up. Life triggers us into growth situations. Loving can get very challenging, especially when raising other humans gets thrown into the mix. Ultimately all flaws are exposed. And yet love has continued to grow. At some point, in all lasting relationships, we love each other because of our flaws, not in spite of them. It's a magnificent place to land.
     Flawed, and OK with that,

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