Well, heck, yeah! It takes a lot of strength to forgive, especially the worst stuff!
Well, heck, again! I did some journaling yesterday regarding abandonment, and there's definitely more forgiveness work ahead for me. I see that various forms of abandonment have been a pattern in my life, and I feel like I have "Please abandon me" tattooed on my forehead.
I noted that there is a big variety of abandonment. The biggie is death, and that's what happened with my Grammie dying suddenly of a heart attack when I was four years old. That started the "abandonment snowball" off the top of the mountain. Then there is emotional abandonment, which is what happened with my mother, as she was devastated by her mother's death, and my parents' relationship went completely "off the rails" after that. Then there is the abandonment wherein I don't feel safe sharing my whole self with those closest to me. There have also been times, like now, when I feel my body is abandoning me. The bone spur on my foot is hampering my determination to keep moving, and I'm very unhappy about it. Lastly, I share my oft-repeated phrase regarding our sons, "We raised them to be independent, and damn it, they are." Though it is the organic, natural, desirable path in life, the kids "leaving the nest" is a form of abandonment, at least in my psyche.
Awareness... forgiveness... trust the process... onward...
Leta
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