February 17--Self-Acceptance

It's quite simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eyes.  --Antoine De Saint-Exupery

To accept that each of us is just ourself is probably the most courageous thing we will ever do.  --Richard Rohr

    I have become aware over the past couple of years that I am an angry person. Maybe I've known it long-term and have finally 'fessed up to it. I know from my 12-Step work that more often than not, anger is a layer on top of a firm foundation of fear. That foundation was laid for me at age four when my Grammie died suddenly of a heart attack. If that could happen to my mother's mother, what was to prevent it from happening to my mother?!?!?! 

    I would say that I am now in a period of exploring my anger and fear. A lot of anger vents when I am driving. I yell at other drivers, then tell myself that was not a nice thing to do, and I should stop it! So far, this method has been unsuccessful. Miscellaneous comments by my spouse infuriate me way out of proportion to the words spoken. Because I know my reaction is over the top, I keep these irritations to myself. This is enlightening me to how I hold grudges and resentments. I think the underlying fear here is that someone or something damages or wrecks my sense of security, even though I know that security in this world is certainly not guaranteed. 

    Continually working on acceptance,

        Leta

Being a numbers nerd,
the odometer always entertains me!