The good, the bad, and the ugly. If you have been in relationship for any length of time, for instance marriage or child-rearing, you get to "see it all" in those others. Also, if you have dug deep into your own psyche, you've seen yourself in that "new, more fractured light." Raising kids, being married, spiritual seeking--those are lovely ideas that in reality can be pretty ugly at times. But we learn and grow as we risk seeing ALL there is to see and going with the flow.
The price of getting really close to family members, friends, and even ourselves, is that we eventually see things that we didn't recognize at first and may not like. It teaches us tolerance and patience, both with the other and with oneself. The risk of looking hard is worth it.