May 23--Four Questions

The most courageous act is to think for yourself. Aloud.  --Coco Chanel

    Dr. Edith Eger developed over her four decades of practice a therapeutic model based on freedom. She calls it “Choice Therapy, as freedom is about CHOICE—about choosing compassion, humor, optimism, intuition, curiosity, and self-expression.”

    These are the four questions Dr. Eger asks:

1. What do you want? This is a deceptively simple question. It can be much more difficult than we realize to give ourselves permission to know and listen to ourselves, to align ourselves with our desires. How often when we answer this question do we say what we want for someone else? 
2. Who wants it? This is our charge and our struggle: to understand our own expectations for ourselves versus trying to live up to others’ expectations of us. . . . It’s our responsibility to act in service of our authentic selves. Sometimes this means giving up the need to please others, giving up our need for others’ approval.
3. What are you going to do about it? I believe in the power of positive thinking—but change and freedom also require positive action. Anything we practice, we become better at. If we practice anger, we’ll have more anger. If we practice fear, we’ll have more fear. In many cases, we actually work very hard to ensure that we go nowhere. Change is about noticing what’s no longer working and stepping out of the familiar, imprisoning patterns.
4. When? In "Gone with the Wind," my mother’s favorite book, Scarlett O’Hara, when confronted with a difficulty, says, “I’ll think about it tomorrow. . . . After all, tomorrow is another day.” If we are to evolve instead of revolve, it’s time to take action now. 

    It most definitely takes courage to answer these four questions honestly and aloud. 

        Leta

Reference: Edith Eva Eger, The Choice: Embrace the Possible (Scribner: 2017), via Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, 5/22/21, Center for Action and Contemplation