Saturday, December 19, 2020

December 19--"Not Sorry"

Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry.  --Jack Kerouac

    Maybe this quote is the inspiration for the Reese's peanut butter cup commercials that end in "NOT SORRY." I love those commercials, putting chocolate and peanut butter right in our faces without apology, knowing that probably 99% of the people either secretly or overtly love them. 
    Here is an excerpt from my book, WHOA! Slow Down and Ponder a Life of Wholeness, Health, Openness and Action:

Stop Apologizing for Your Existence

    The first time I say this phrase to anyone, I can guarantee a nearly blank look in return. I did the same thing when I first heard this in yoga teacher training with Ana Forrest. The blank looks result from the fact that this behavior is so ingrained, it's completely unconscious.  We don't even know we are doing it. 
    One example of this behavior is saying "sorry" frequently, for instance, "I'm sorry, but would you help me with this?" This says right up front that you think you're a bother to someone. It fairly screams lack of confidence. Use of "sorry" like this devalues the use of "I'm sorry" when you truly mean it in apology. 
    Here's another example. One day at the gym, upon returning to my locker after showering, I found another woman using the locker next to mine, getting dressed. Her back was to me. I was in no hurry and waited silently nearby so that she could finish unhurried. After a few minutes, she turned around and saw me waiting. She freaked and said, "Am I in you way?" I replied, "No take your time, I'm in no hurry." She didn't hear me. She started apologizing profusely, collected all her stuff (even though she wasn't completely dressed), and moved everything elsewhere. She apologized profusely for her presence in "my" space, but there was no problem with her being there in the first place. 
    Because this behavior is so unconscious, it's a bit of a challenge to even notice you're engaging in it. Pay attention to your use of "sorry," "excuse me," "I hate to bother you but," and so on. You are here on Playground Earth for a reason, so stop apologizing for yourself. 

And a favorite quote, source unknown: "I'm sorry if I behaved in a way that makes you think I should apologize but I won't because I know I didn't do anything wrong." 


    Live, travel, adventure and bless on this magnificent day!

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