--George Sand
Self-love is the foundation of one's ability to love. If one does not love his/her own being, one cannot love another. We project how we feel about ourselves onto others. If we are judgmental and negative toward ourselves, we likewise judge others negatively. If we are content with ourselves, comfy in our own skin, we are accepting of others.
I've been pondering lately the idea of family secrets. I think the keeping of family secrets was hammered into me from an early age. I don't think anyone outside our family knew that my dad was an alcoholic, and my mom killed herself slowly via bulimia. When I was nine years old, there was a huge amount of family chaos and fighting about my brother Ken and wife-to-be Mary Ellen getting married. I was clueless at the time, but figured out later that she was, God-forbid, pregnant out of wedlock. When I was very young, a cousin married an African-American man, which was the worst possible thing that could happen in my parents' eyes. That cousin was forced to move away, and we were not allowed to speak of her.
I am keeping secrets to myself, I know. It feels safer than expressing them. It is a deeply-ingrained conflict-avoiding habit in me. I believe I am not alone in this habit. I am so grateful that I let out the big secret of my food addiction and sought help and recovery.
I fear that someday dementia and/or old age may cause me to lose my filters and all my secrets will spill out. That will be entertaining!
Leta
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| Most likely true... |
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