October 15--All Alone at the Pity Party

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference. 
--A. A. Milne

    I am fully aware that I am spoiled. I have been since birth. I am also aware that the other side of the "spoiled coin" is self-pity. I've been recognizing this character defect in vibrant, living color lately. Yesterday's reading in AA's "Daily Reflections" offered this: "Before we begin [our day], we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives." 

    OK! OK! I get the message. One thing I recognize as pulling me into self-pity is having too much idle time. Another is procrastinating on creative projects. I am much happier when I am working on a painting. (To my credit, I have scrounged up some canvases to play with.) I was scrolling through my calendar for the next couple of months and found this note-to-self in November: "Make treats for the neighbors instead of being Christmas-grumpy." Clearly self-pity is a long-standing defect!

    Milne's quote is the solution!

        Leta

October 14--Infinite

Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the heart's revelation that another person is every bit as real as you are.  --Jonathan Franzen

    Bottomless = infinite. I want to direct this writing to the fact that our magnificent Mother Earth is "every bit as real as you are." We have lost this knowing in our gross exploitation of the planet. This is from Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation of October 13:

We have not honored God’s Presence in the elemental, physical world. We made God as small as our own constricted hearts. We picked and chose, saying, “Oh, God is really only in my group, in baptized people, in moral people” and so on. Is there that little of an Infinite God to go around? Do we have to be stingy with God? Why pretend only we deserve God, and that God is not for other groups, religions, animals, plants, the elements, Brother Sun, and Sister Moon?

    The Earth and all creation are vibrant expressions of the infinite love of Spirit. "Infinite" is a tough concept for the human mind. But we need only look up into the sky to see "infinite." 

    Let us honor the infinite love that enfolds us by caring lovingly for our Earth home.

        Leta

October 13--Relentless Love

Watch out for each other. Love everyone and forgive everyone, including yourself. Forgive your anger. Forgive your guilt. Your shame. Your sadness. Embrace and open up your love, your joy, your truth, and most especially your heart. 
--Jim Henson

The conservatives/Republicans will never give up using their fear tactics, so we have to be equally relentless with love.  --Leta Miller

How about we don't have a president and we all just agree to be cool? 
--Random internet meme

Disagreeable things tend to disappear when they are not believed in. 
--Frances Lord

    I am exceedingly grateful right now for the rapid passing of time, because I want this election cycle to be OVER. The fear-based advertising and lies are nauseating. Even more troubling to me is the ignorance that has led folks to believe the lies. 

    The answer? Our hope? Reread the quotes above. We must stay focused on a higher consciousness, and that is literally homework--it starts within each individual. It is no small challenge, but our future depends on it.

        Leta

October 12--It's a Secret!

Self-love is a part of love just as self-interest is a part of friendship. 
--George Sand

    Self-love is the foundation of one's ability to love. If one does not love his/her own being, one cannot love another. We project how we feel about ourselves onto others. If we are judgmental and negative toward ourselves, we likewise judge others negatively. If we are content with ourselves, comfy in our own skin, we are accepting of others. 

    I've been pondering lately the idea of family secrets. I think the keeping of family secrets was hammered into me from an early age. I don't think anyone outside our family knew that my dad was an alcoholic, and my mom killed herself slowly via bulimia. When I was nine years old, there was a huge amount of family chaos and fighting about my brother Ken and wife-to-be Mary Ellen getting married. I was clueless at the time, but figured out later that she was, God-forbid, pregnant out of wedlock. When I was very young, a cousin married an African-American man, which was the worst possible thing that could happen in my parents' eyes. That cousin was forced to move away, and we were not allowed to speak of her. 

    I am keeping secrets to myself, I know. It feels safer than expressing them. It is a deeply-ingrained conflict-avoiding habit in me. I believe I am not alone in this habit. I am so grateful that I let out the big secret of my food addiction and sought help and recovery. 

    I fear that someday dementia and/or old age may cause me to lose my filters and all my secrets will spill out. That will be entertaining!

        Leta

Most likely true...

October 11--To Sparkle or Not to Sparkle

No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself. 
--Virginia Woolf

    But I love sparkles!!! Well, mostly I sparkle with toenail polish. As I look around the woman cave, I have sparkly curtains, glitter on the pots I painted, and a red cap with sparkles on it. A bit of sparkle IS me being me. 

    "No need to hurry"... I remind myself of this often, because I create time and I can create as much as I want. (See "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks.) Have you noticed lately how many more folks are running red lights? They are in a hurry. If I am the first car in line at a red light, I have trained myself to hesitate and look for red-light-runners before taking off on a green light. Maybe I'm just becoming a "get off my lawn" cranky old fart 😉😉

    I'm relieved to hear that my Florida friends and their properties are OK. Power outages were the worst of their issues. Alas, having been to the Tampa Bay Rays baseball stadium on my MLB quest, I must say that having the roof ripped off that stadium is the best thing that could happen to that mold-infested arena.

    Speaking of baseball, I'm bummed for the Phillies and Royals who have now gone home for the season. One of the main reasons I dislike winter so much is because there's no baseball. 

    TGIF!!

        Leta

Tropicana Field--this is the roof that 
is no longer there.

October 10--Agree to Disagree

The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.  --Thomas Merton

    I suspect it is fairly common... I have family members with whom I do not agree politically or religiously. Possibly you just mentally said, "DUH!! Doesn't everyone?!?!" Consequently, when we are together, the subjects of politics and religion are avoided "like the plague." This was especially true of my recently-passed brother. When he would go off on politics, I just kept repeating my mantra, "I love this man so much," so that I could listen and not argue. There is no changing folks with whom we do not agree. Change ONLY comes from a deeply personal interior decision. 

    I have a short paragraph from Abraham-Hicks that I read before each coaching session: 

You will know when you are of value to anyone when you are able to think about the person and feel good at the same time. When you love others without worry, you are an advantage to them. When you enjoy them, you help them. When you expect them to succeed, you help them. In other words, when you see them as your own Inner Being sees them, then and only then is your association with them to their advantage.

    Live and let live, love and let love show the way,

        Leta

Couldn't resist!

October 9--"This Glorious Day"

If you really care about the quality of somebody's life as much as you care about the quality of your own, you have it made.  --Edie Windsor

    Fortunately for me, Spirit has many routes to get blog ideas to me. Today's prayer, "This Glorious Day," is by Mary Davis:

Spirit, come into my heart

and create with me this glorious day.

Walk through me

so I will know where to go.

Speak through me 

so my words may be of kindness and peace.

Pray through me

so I may know how to assist.

Praise Spirit through me

so I may know how to serve. 

Think through me

so my ideas lead me

to what You would have me do.

Be joyous through me

so I may celebrate the beauty of all creation.

Parent through me

so I may be respectful and helpful.

Be a friend through me

so I may love and be loved in return. 

Work through me 

so I may do my work in the consciousness of Spirit. 

Write through me 

this unwritten chapter of my life.

Spirit, come into my heart

and create with me this glorious day. Amen.

    That pretty much covers it!

        Leta

October 8--Respecting Wellness

Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.  --David Mitchell

    There is a liquor store just over a mile from our house that posts comical thoughts on their store sign. If you are a regular reader, you know this one really made me laugh: "It's a small world unless you have to clean it." I live in a small house until it comes time to clean, then it is a mansion!

    I have seen my older son, upon the arrival of his first child, clean up his act physically in dramatic ways, most notably to stop drinking alcohol. This is a quite common and worthy practice among parents with new beings to whom they are bound.  

    I've been thinking lately about personal daily practices--crimes and kindnesses--that birth our future. It is the repetitive daily actions that birth a healthy future. You don't eat just once a month--we get hungry and eat several times a day. You don't brush your teeth once a year if you expect them to stay intact. Exercising once a month isn't that helpful. 

    I am a Melt Method instructor. Melt works with your connective tissue system which is everywhere in your body. It is a fluid-based system that surrounds all your muscles, organs, and bones. You could remove all the bones from your body and it would still be intact because of the connective tissue. This system includes the primary balancing function of your body. It dries out from daily activity and repetitive actions. Ever been stiff and sore? Bingo, that's a dried-out connective tissue system. Drinking water and eating a healthy diet support this system, but it isn't enough. Daily movement is required. Melt is a very simple and quick way to support this system, and it does wonders for relieving aches and pains. The catch? Melting every day. 

    I have a checklist of things I feel are necessary to support my wellness. It includes such things as flossing my teeth, taking my vitamins, doing my spiritual practice and using my netipot (sinus rinse) every day. I keep track of my exercise on a wall calendar and that motivates me. I've seen what happens to too many folks when they stop moving. 

    Days turn into months, months into years, and it is the "little" daily things we do, or don't do, that birth our future. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta

October 7--Thanks, Dad!

You are your best thing.  --Toni Morrison

    I can't trade me in for a new me, nor can you. In the big picture viewpoint of Spirit, each of us is perfect just as we are. Few of us, however, see ourselves that way. And most of us have or have had folks around us who would prefer that we be different somehow. I have a t-shirt that designates me as the "World's Okayest Pickleball Player." I'm good with that. I think we should all have shirts that identify us as "World's Okayest Human." 

    Today on his birthday, I remember my dad. He was born in 1917 and passed in 2000. I miss him every day. I believe I got my "numbers nerd" personality from him. He was a great businessman, kind and generous. One of my favorite memories is riding in the truck with him to deliver fresh-cut lumber to his customers--New Holland, Standard Steel, and several cabinet makers. Another memory was the nightly post-supper dish routine with me washing and him drying. I ironed many shirts and handkerchiefs for him. In our family of addicts, his substance of choice was alcohol. Mercifully, he was never mean to me and he always had my back. 

    Thanks, Dad!

        Leta

Me and Dad, a llloooonnnggg time ago!

October 6--Nerding Out

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.  --Harper Lee

    There are loads of people I don't understand, wherein I can't begin to comprehend their point of view. That would include the very wealthy, who seem to me infinitely greedy, or those in politics, who seem driven solely by the insatiable desire for power. I've led a comfortable life, so it is difficult for me to understand the struggles of the very poor or homeless, or those who have had their lives devastated by natural disasters. The vastness of things that motivates people is so broad, I have to accept that there will always be plenty I don't understand. Waging war on fellow humans probably tops the list. 

    Nerding out... yesterday, for the 27th year in a row, I completed my swimming goal of 100 miles. Yes, of course, I have kept track of this in a spreadsheet. (My husband says I have "spreadshat" it.) This includes 117,052 laps, which works out to an average of 120 miles per year. I also keep track of my times playing golf or pickleball. What can I say? I love numbers and keeping track of these things motivates me. There is another swimmer whom I see often at the pool who already has over 500 miles in for this year. That keeps me (sort of) humble! And it will keep me swimming for the rest of this year and beyond. I am extremely grateful for the excellent YMCAs we enjoy in Wichita.

    Heading for the pool, again,

        Leta

One of many lovely Wichita YMCA lap pools

October 5--Whispers of Love

When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That's why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness. 
--Thich Nhat Hanh

Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.  --Naya Rivera

    I spent many glorious minutes this week holding and gazing at my three-week-old grandson, Remy. I love pondering what he sees, hears and understands. He can't see how truly beautiful he is, but his parents and grandparents can. He is a perfect new human. Sure, he has some baby acne, and he cries and is smelly sometimes, always for good reasons. Think of it--he goes from the dark, warm. confined world of Mom's womb into the world of lights, giants and noise. We have no way of knowing what his existence was before he chose this journey, but I totally believe there was consciousness somewhere/somehow. I spent a bunch of time whispering to him about how glad we are that he chose our family, what a great Mom and Dad he has, and how much fun he is going to have with his big brother, Luca. And over and over, how much he is loved. 

    In Spirit's "eyes," we are all, no matter our age and life choices, perfect humans. We are loved infinitely more than parents and grandparents love their little ones. Let us use this love to nourish our happiness. We are not here to suffer but to love and enjoy. 

        Leta

At Johnson County Community College

October 4--Home Again

To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.  --Bono

    I think this is the huge problem we are experiencing nowadays--no respect for the right to be different, to disagree. If you are not "one of us" (whatever "us" is), you are simply bad and cannot be tolerated. This is painfully obvious as we enter the final month before the presidential election.

    Yesterday before leaving Fort Collins, we visited with our younger son working at Starbucks. Having achieved a well-caffeinated state, the trip was uneventful but quite windy. 

    It's good to be home!

        Leta

One of the many painted
utility boxes around
Fort Collins

October 3--The Choices We Make

Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.  --Simone Weil

    This is the Note from the Universe (Mike Dooley) from yesterday:

Would you ever take a journey if you knew ahead of time that you'd become hopelessly lost, have your heart broken into pieces, and sometimes wish you'd never been born?

Now, how about if you knew ahead of time that on that very same journey you'd later find yourself, fall passionately in love, and live happily ever after?

Yeah, I know, you made the same choice a long, long time ago.

                The Universe

WE ARE ALL BRAVE SOULS!!

    I saw a most excellent bumper sticker as we were driving around Fort Collins yesterday:

Roe Roe Roe Your Vote

    Yesterday's Colorado adventures included a dog walk, playing with Luca at the playground and hanging with his family, lunch at the Crown Pub where our younger son works, and shopping at Stardust, my favorite store. Well, maybe my favorite is Mary's Mountain Cookies. Let's leave it as a toss-up. My husband shopped and cooked dinner for all of us at the home of the grandsons, then we bid everyone "Farewell! Love you!" in anticipation of our trip home today. 

    On the road again...

        Leta

Read the back of the van!
Hint: it's a window blind business 😀

October 2--Grandsons!

Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging.  --Brene Brown

    It has been a "rocky road" lately between me and my older son. Details are unnecessary. This visit has enabled us to hash things out. He is much more adept at talking about issues and he drags me along. 

    Yesterday morning was magnificent for golf--cool, sunny, no wind. I played nine holes with Ron, Bob and Paul, three fine gentlemen. I hadn't played in a couple months because I was frustrated with how I had been playing. I was quite nervous to start, but at least one of the men was not that good, so that calmed me some. I played my usual game (short shots down the middle) and only had one really dreadful hole. Anyway, I felt good about it all, ending this golf season in a much better mental space than I would have otherwise (I was considering giving it up.) 

    Then it was off to my son's house, where I got to enjoy both grandsons, holding 3-week-old Remy for long periods of time. While he slept in my arms, I whispered to him about his magnificence and how much fun he is going to have. His mom and dad are exhausted, and my husband had cooked lunch for them and then went out for Thai carry-out for supper. We left them with a wound-up two-year-old and a baby and loads of joy on top of their weariness. 

    More CO fun today!

        Leta

Fall blooms in my Wichita garden

October 1-Time for Respect

I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. 
--Jane Austen

    Welcome, October, so happy to see ya! 

    The October theme in "Daily Love" is respect. It is wonderful to start my birthday month in Colorado, where today I expect to meet my new grandson and play with his big brother. That will be after a 9-hole round of golf in magnificent fall weather.

    I enjoyed supper last night with my younger son and his significant other. He beat me to the check, of course, but that is OK, because he makes way more money than I do 😉😉 These two live together in a tiny studio apartment, so I can see there is a lot of love there. It is a joy to see two youngsters so happy!

    My husband took the nerd photo below while I was driving yesterday. Yes, I was speeding just a bit.

    Onward into the glorious Colorado sunshine!

        Leta

Odometer milestone 88888!