Tuesday, May 30, 2023

May 30--Connected at the Heart

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was Dostoevsky and Dickens who taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.  --James Baldwin

    I'm learning a lot about anxiety. Let me back up for a moment. At one of the very first 12-step meetings I attended years ago, the person leading shared on her multitude of fears. I thought at the time, "I'm glad I'm not scared of all that stuff." Well, it turns out that I had all those fears and more. 
    Back to anxiety. I never considered myself an anxious person until Something nudged me to look into what anxiety is. Holy cow! I am a living, breathing ball of anxiety, have been all my life, but it is so much a part of me that I didn't even recognize it. Maybe I should congratulate myself for living fairly successfully with it all these decades!??! Just like I dove in and dealt with many fears, I am now digging into my thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that are contributing to anxiety. It feels a bit like a Mount-Everest-size task, but I must continue with one of my favorite mantras: one day at a time. 
    I'm not alone in this, and I am grateful for that.

Anxiety feels like a black hole.

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