Saturday, November 21, 2020

November 21--Why We Do What We Do

One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others.  --Lewis Carroll

    Well, yes and no. It is extraordinarily rewarding to be of service to others. That could be caring for one's family, volunteering, having a career in service work, or practicing intentional acts of kindness. Doing for others without expectation of praise or reward is quite the high standard of worthwhile giving. 
    Speaking from personal experience, doing for others can get way out of hand into the realm of people-pleasing. These actions are not so much motivated by love as by the desire to keep the recipient happy and get him/her to like me. People-pleasing tends to be done from a position of low self-esteem and can lead to resentment. It makes for messy, unbalanced relationships.
    It's worthwhile to look carefully at one's motivation in doing for others. 

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