Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who that person is. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is.
--Marianne Williamson
We all have a dark side. Some of us are better at hiding it than others. Some prefer to flaunt it. Some would just as soon go through an entire lifetime never addressing the darkness. It's there, nonetheless.
I feel that my darkness first had its voice when, in my early 30s, I entered a 12-step program. Steps 4 and 5 are specifically designed to free the darkness. Completing those steps with my sponsor was the first time I ever shared some of those things with another human being. We shared our darkness, and became the best of friends. We know each other quite well, "warts and all." We love each other dearly.
Forgiving someone's darkness comes fairly easy for this 12-stepper. I think that's in large part because I have experienced such forgiveness in my ongoing 12-step journey. Meetings are a safe place for us to give voice to our darkness, and that sets it free. It's kind of comical--I have known some folks for years, heard their deepest thoughts, feelings and "secrets," and I don't even know their last names or what they do work-wise. I simply love them.
Let's also throw self-forgiveness into this mix. Until we do acknowledge our darkness, we cannot know ourselves. Until we forgive ourselves for that darkness, we cannot know self-love. Without self-love, love of others is impossible. Yep, it all begins "at home."
Forgiving and loving,
Leta
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