June 3--The Grace of Years

You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.
  --Cheryl Strayed

     Today we celebrate our younger son's 31st birthday. When our sons were still at home, particularly as teenagers, they vehemently disagreed with our chosen parental choices for handling many a situation. Big duh, right? Many times I said, "I know you don't like this, but unfortunately, there are some things you simply won't understand until you are a parent."
     There was a particularly troubling discipline incident when our younger son was about four years old. (No physical harm or abuse involved, I promise.) He never forgot it, and brought it up occasionally as an adult how upset he continued to be about that incident. We listened patiently to his frustrations. Then in his 20s, he dated a woman who had a young daughter. He encountered the same incident with the young child, and (miraculously) knew how to handle it properly. The next time he spoke to me after that, he described the situation and said, "Mom, now I get it." It was a huge release and forgiveness for him.
     As we age and acquire more roles--spouse, parent, employee, employer, leader, etc.--we can't help, by grace, to advance in wisdom. Holding grudges may at first appear to be the best path, but for our own serenity, we must learn to forgive and let go. The roles in life are challenging enough without carrying the burden of grudges and resentments.
     While aging can be an "interesting" experience, I am so grateful for the wisdom that age and grace have brought me. Had I known then what I know now, how different might my young life have been? I wouldn't change a thing, but I surely hope in my next lifetime, I arrive already knowing all that I have learned in this one.
     Getting wiser, one day at a time,
           Leta