I grew up with extraordinary and consistent examples of blaming. Every trouble of my mother and my brother was someone else's fault, alas, often my dad, and then eventually, me, once I became conscious of being the target. Taking responsibility, being "wrong all alone," was not in their skill sets, and miles away from their comfort zones. I'm sad to say both my mother and brother went to their graves with little real progress in this area, at least that I could discern.
It takes a strong constitution, when all alone, to admit that "the buck stops here," and I screwed up, and I need to fix it as best I can. Blaming is easy. Accepting responsibility and making amends are hard. The key is that blaming puts one in a powerless position--if the circumstance is someone else's fault, one has no control and becomes a victim. Taking responsibility means holding the power to set things right. It also means being comfortable enough with oneself to admit to being human.
Leta
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