May 7--Bendable Hearts

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.  --Albert Camus

    I don't know if my heart has simply bent; it surely feels broken. That's what the past year and a half has been--wrenching my heart with a wild mix of emotions. There have been huge family disappointments in several directions, all capped off by the loss of my beloved brother. Is that what causes us to leave the planet--our hearts stop bending and actually break? 

    I keep chanting my intentions to myself to try to stay within the "bend" range. Those intentions are "to stay healthy and active" and "to encourage and allow myself to be a happy human." It is way too easy these days for my thoughts to wander into the "broken" range. 

    Grateful for resilience,

        Leta

The lovely course I played last Saturday

May 6--Nature Rocks!

Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know what they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is. 
--Marianne Williamson

    I think it is probably a really good thing... we don't know how dysfunctional our family of origin is until we get away from it. I was surrounded by amazing amounts of "darkness" growing up and survival forced it all to seem "normal." Because I later recognized all that "darkness," much forgiveness has been required of me. It's a process.

    I was on a golf outing this past weekend. Results were mixed regarding my scores and the weather. However, the highlight of the adventure--my two Sunday playing partners and I saw a BOBCAT on the course. It walked along a chain-link fence, climbed over it easily and went on its merry way. I was not quick enough to get a photo. There is considerable wooded area around the course, but still, it's in the middle of a city. The sighting was a truly rare gift!

    Onward, let us conquer Monday,

        Leta

May 5--Love Sustains Us

There is always something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing.  --Lorraine Hansberry

    It doesn't matter how much the folks in my closest relationships aggravate me, it all comes down to love. We all put up with a lot for the sake of love. My recently-passed brother and I were on WAY opposite ends of the political spectrum. When he went off on one of his crusading rants, I just kept reminding myself how much I love him and listened patiently till he "came up for air." This proves that I can be baffled by someone and still love him/her.

    Consider the common plant shown below. Weed? But have you had a toddler joyfully hand you a bouquet of them? Have you seen a child's delight in blowing away the seed puff? Have you acknowledged its mighty strength to grow through a crack in cement? 

    "Always something left to love,"

        Leta

May 4--LIFE Is a Practice

Forgiveness is not a single act, but a matter of constant practice.  
--Diana Gabaldon

    I may have actually said this quote first, but we will give the credit to Ms. Gabaldon. 😉😉

    This is Mike Dooley's "Notes from the Universe" message from Thursday, May 2:

Life is not what you see, but what you've projected.

It's not what you've been told, but what you've decided.

It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it.

It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed.

And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned.

And this should serve you well, beloved, until you find what you already have.

Yeah,

The Universe

    What we project, decide, remember, allow and summon is totally unique to each individual. I guess that is where the need for forgiveness comes from!

    Yet, I praise the Universe for diversity and free will!

        Leta

Another good practice!

May 3--Any Regrets?

Regrets are as personal as fingerprints.  --Margaret Culkin Banning 

    I believe that is very much the case. I would like to say that I have no regrets. However, in my present state of grieving my brother's passing, I feel bummed that I did not have more time with him, even though I had that precious two weeks at the end of March to enjoy him. 

    Are there things I would change if I could? Certainly. But most of those things are not in my power to change. I can mire myself in regret and bitterness, or I can let the circumstances go and move on. This is easier said than done when my "life-isn't-fair-foot-stomping four-year-old" gets going. 

    Staying focused on the next thing in front of me,

        Leta

What a great name for a delivery service...
get it?!???!

May 2--Forgiveness Frees Us

You have to say I am forgiven again and again until it becomes the story you believe about yourself.  --Cheryl Strayed

    Conscientiously working through the 12-Steps brings one into an intimate, growing understanding of forgiveness, both for self and others. Here is the May 1 writing in "Daily Reflections," a 12-Step daily reader:

Healing Mind and Heart

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.

It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.

By revealing my secrets – and thereby ridding myself of guilt – I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.

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And a quote from Richard Rohr regarding simplicity and the freedom it brings:

When we agree to live simply, we put ourselves outside of others’ ability to buy us off, reward us falsely, or control us by money, status, punishment, and loss or gain. This is the most radical level of freedom, but, of course, it’s not easy to come by.

    Forgiveness equals freedom,

        Leta

Funky storm clouds over west Wichita Tuesday evening

May 1--Less Is More

When you forgive, you love.  --Jon Krakauer

    We have now moved into a new quote book: "DAILY LOVE, 365 Days of Celebration." Just a few days ago (April 28), I wrote about forgiveness. As synchronicity would have it, that is the theme for May. I'm thinking the Universe is trying to tell me something 😉😉

    This is Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation from April 29:

Most of us have grown up with a capitalist worldview which makes a virtue and goal out of accumulation, consumption, and collecting. It has taught us to assume, quite falsely, that more is better. It’s hard for us to recognize this unsustainable and unhappy trap because it’s the only game in town. When parents perform multiple duties all day and into the night, that’s the story line their children surely absorb. “I produce therefore I am” and “I consume therefore I am” might be today’s answers to Descartes’ “I think therefore I am.” These identities are all terribly mistaken, but we can’t discover the truth until we remove the clutter.

The course we are on assures us of a predictable future of strained individualism, environmental destruction, severe competition as resources dwindle for a growing population, and perpetual war. Our culture ingrains in us the belief that there isn’t enough to go around, which determines most of our politics and spending. In the United States there is never enough money for adequate health care, education, the arts, or even basic infrastructure. At the same time, the largest budget is always for war, bombs, and military gadgets. I hope we can all recognize how the tragic consequences of these decisions are being played out right now.

E. F. Schumacher said years ago, “Small is beautiful,” and many other wise people have come to know that less stuff invariably leaves room for more soul. In fact, possessions and soul seem to operate in inverse proportion to one another. Only through simplicity can we find deep contentment instead of perpetually striving and living unsatisfied. Simple living is the foundational social justice teaching of Jesus, Francis and Clare of Assisi, Dorothy Day, Pope Francis, and hermits, mystics, prophets, and seers since time immemorial.

Franciscan spirituality asks us to let go, to recognize that there is enough to go around to meet everyone’s need but not everyone’s greed. Francis knew that climbing ladders to nowhere would never make us happy nor create peace and justice on this earth. Too many have to stay at the bottom of the ladder so some can be at the top. Living simply helps level the playing field and offers abundance and enoughness to all, regardless of our status or state of belonging to religion or group.

    Can we love ourselves enough to change our ways? To forgive our greed and simplify?

        Leta

One of life's most simple pleasures/treasures--
fresh home-grown tomatoes