December 31--Another Year in the Books

The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice.  --Ernest Hemingway

    This sounds like Jesus to me, but then I think he qualifies for "best people" status. He was able to live these qualities all the time, something the rest of us are only aspiring to at best. 

    It's the last day of the year and time for my annual review. I do this for me, to have a recap of the year. This all comes from my Win List, my daily noting of good things that happen in my life. In general, I stuck with my intentions (stay healthy and active, encourage and allow myself to be a happy human) reasonably well, and I had a much better year than 2023. 

    

WORK

• Taught MELT one night a week at the Clearwater Wellness Center. Completed my teaching time there mid-December after 13 years.
• Thoroughly enjoyed being a simulated patient at the Kansas College of Osteopathic Medicine.

FAMILY

• The BEST event of the year was welcoming new grandson Remy to the family on Sept 11, born on his great-grandmother's birthday.
• Was blessed to spend two weeks with my brother Arlie in March before he passed on April 10. I miss him tremendously. That leaves me the only living member of my family of origin.
• Had the great joy of watching grandsons Luca and Remy grow.
• Reconnected with my cousin Marlene in Ohio, whom I hadn't seen in decades. 
• Had several visits with my in-laws as they are a convenient stopping point on my drives to/from Ohio.
• Dennis and I celebrated anniversary #38.

TRAVEL

• Lanie and I spent a glorious girlfriend-fun week with Paige and Laura at the Hill "resort" in Panama City Beach. 
• Went to a Thunder NBA game in March.
• Made several trips to Colorado to see the grandsons and their parents and uncle.
• Spent the 4th of July holiday weekend with my niece Debi in Chicago, of course the highlight being a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
• Enjoyed another week at Ocean City, MD, with Debi, Bryan and Erin. Traveling back to Ohio included a fabulous tour of Longwood Gardens and my favorite hike at Alan Seeger Natural Area in central PA. That trip also included a Cubs-Guardians game.
• Spent the last two weeks of November in Ohio with my niece; enjoyed Thanksgiving with most of my brother's family, though my brother was sorely missed.
• Lanie and I made all the reservations and payments for the BIG TRIP of a lifetime, a six-weeks' journey beginning in Feb 2025 to Australia, New Zealand and Bali.

HEALTH

• Swam over 100 miles for the 27th year in a row. Set a new personal annual record of 138.0 miles.
• Played pickleball over a hundred times. As pickleball play increased, golf time decreased. Between the heat and my poor play, golfing wasn't much fun. Also, for the first time in decades, I did not get to play golf with my sons. 
• Enjoyed another year of gardening. 

DOG

• Barney, our love... when all else fails, pet the dog. Dog walks get us outside and moving every day.

MISCELLANEOUS

• I have given up watching the news due to the results of the presidential election. 
• The year included a lot of game-playing, especially Rummikub. Got a regular monthly game night going at a local bar.
• Facing another Christmas without my kids, I planned projects to help keep my attitude up. I filled hand-sewn gift bags with treats for the neighbors. My husband and I had a nice Christmas at home. 

CREATIVITY

• Completed several more paintings, playing with paints being a huge sanity-saver for me. 
• Wrote a daily blog post--yep, 366 of them. 

    I'm looking forward to another trip around the sun. I can't wait for Opening Day of baseball season!!!

        Leta

December 30--Spiritual Practice--It Works If You Work It

This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. 
  --Elizabeth Gilbert

    At the end of each year, I do a "year in review" post to remind myself that despite challenges, my life is generally quite good. That post is coming tomorrow. 

    Today I devote some thoughts to my most important daily activity--my spiritual practice and its hopeful result, spiritual growth. I offer this quote from Ernest Holmes: 

Failure does not mean the loss of something. Failure occurs only if the loss of that thing takes our enthusiasm, our courage, our zest for life, our faith, our conviction and our happiness from us. That is failure indeed.

    The downhill slide for me started in August 2022, when a couple of big losses occurred for me in fairly short order. This led to the failure Holmes described. I don't know for sure if it was depression or grief or both, but it stole all the good things in life that Holmes mentions. I went through the motions of daily life, but I think of 2023 mentally/emotionally/spiritually as a slog-through-it-fog. 

    Toward the end of 2023, I was coming to consciously realize that the trajectory I was on was not a good one and change was required. There was definitely my broken heart that needed relief. I did an intention-setting workshop on January 1, 2024, and selected two things to focus on: 1) staying healthy and active, and 2) encouraging and allowing myself to be a happy human. I was extremely consistent with my daily spiritual practice which supported the intentions. I still had the occasional meltdown and bad-attitude day. And there was the other major setback of my brother passing in April 2024, but at least for him, it was a huge blessing. Knowing that has given me some relief from the grief. 

    I am grateful for three other things that have helped "pull me back from the edge." One is decades of practicing the 12-Step program. Another is the monthly sessions with my spiritual coach/mentor. Lastly, much healing resulted from heavy-duty journaling through the book "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist" by Debbie Mirza. (See Oct 24 post for more on that.) 

    Overall, I feel I did a good job on the intentions for 2024, and I am sticking with those for 2025. I can't stress enough the value of a daily spiritual practice. One of the things that started my downhill slide in 2022 is an ongoing issue completely out of my control, so I have to stay vigilant to keep my thoughts in a positive direction. My personal prayers have been pretty much reduced to "help!" and "thank you!" It seems to me that Spirit knows what to do from there. 

    Ready for 2025,

        Leta

December 29--In Limbo

One must learn to love, and go through a good deal of suffering to get to it, and the journey is always toward the other soul.  --D. H. Lawrence

    I think the time between Christmas and New Year's Day is kind of weird. I'm ready for the year to be over, but it is clinging to a few more days. It's a bit early to put away decorations. College basketball is on a break before full-blown conference play starts. The relief of Christmas being over leaves me with a "what now?" sort of feeling. I have much to look forward to, but there is also the long, cold darkness of January and February. And taxes! (But hopefully, not death!!!) Note that this decade is just about to pass half-over. How amazing is that!?!?

    I use this "down time" to consider the year ending and its many blessings. That is the subject of the next two days' posts. 

    Stay tuned. 

        Leta

The beginnings of another painting...

December 28--Another Look at Gratitude

It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst. 
--Tom Stoppard

    Amen! Anyone who has raised one or more children has had a hearty dose of that. I am so thankful for those who have loved me at my worst!

    Speaking of gratitude, let's amp it up as we head into the new year. It helps to keep my thoughts headed in a positive direction. Rev. Kris Alexander offers this perspective on gratitude:

Gratitude is more than a nightly ritual. It is a guide for purposeful action.
I’ve revamped my gratitude practice. Instead of merely listing things I’m grateful for, I now ask myself four questions:
1. Who or what inspired me today?
2. Who or what brought me comfort today?
3. Who or what brought me joy today?
4. What action does my gratitude inspire?

    I would tend to use these questions during my morning spiritual practice to consider the previous day. As I write this, I'm thinking of the day after Christmas. 

1. Inspiration--We had friends over, several of whom are artists, and they asked about my paintings and they were so encouraging. 
2. Comfort--Happy hour time on the deck with my husband and dog.
3. Joy--Playing pickleball with the church gang. 
4. Action--I did a bunch of house-cleaning in preparation for our gathering. 

    That's a very useful set of questions! 

        Leta 

It was a fun supper & jam
by this artist!!

December 27--Christmas Was OK!

The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.  --Sue Monk Kidd

    Christmas is over, and there may be no one happier about that than me. We are still hoping to deliver gifts to our offspring and families in early January, but the music and the forced cheerfulness and anxiety I've felt will go away. Life moves on, back to "normal." 

    My husband and I had a lovely Christmas Day together. We slept in then had a relaxed morning with him reading the news and me doing my usual morning spiritual practice. We walked our dog Barney together. I took a long, hot bath. We watched the Chiefs win another game. I took a nap (why should Christmas be any different?!?!). We tried out the new table-top propane heater for our deck happy hours. We had a video chat with son, d-i-l and grandsons. I talked with our other son (who spent the day snowboarding) and my niece in Ohio. My husband and I played several rounds of Rummikub, then I finished off the day watching a couple NBA games and drifting off to a good night's sleep. 

    I'm grateful for a good, peaceful day, family and friend connections and getting on with life.

        Leta

Happy hour selfie with the new heater

December 26--I Don't Have To Like It

Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else.  --Mitch Albom

    This is a "knife to the heart" for me at Christmastime. I feel that I have experienced a lot of sacrifice over the past two years, much has gone to someone else, and I do not like it one bit. Alas, I simply have to accept it. Some days I am better at that than others. On Christmas Eve there was no acceptance, and I spent much of the day crying, letting myself grieve so that I could move forward again for a while. Just because I recognize the need for acceptance, I do not have to like the circumstances. 

    What a good time this is to re-offer the acceptance passage from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgment, or assistance!

    One day at a time, sticking with the next right thing,

        Leta

December 25--🎄🎄🎄

I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.  --Jonathan Safran Foer

May today bring us simple things in simple packages. May the holiday you celebrate bring meaning and peace within. May the love of Christmas expand in your heart today, tomorrow and each day of the year. May there be peace on earth, goodwill toward all.  --Mary Davis

    Spread the love!

        Leta

December 24--Do You Believe?

Love is everything it's cracked up to be... It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.  --Erica Jong

    This is from yesterday's "Daily Meditation" from the Center for Action and Contemplation, written by staff member Mark Longhurst:

Christmas is about a baby, but it’s also about the soul. Mary mirrors the soul’s yes to God. Christmas is about the soul, but it’s also about peace. Christmas is about peace, but not the comfortable peace of the privileged, or the sappy peace of holiday cards and church pageants, but peace as wholeness and healing of the seeds of violence. It’s also about justice, and not justice cloaked as the authoritarian abuse of power, or justice as righteous license to tear down every group but your own, but justice as compassion enacted in protection for the poor and vulnerable, which we still must believe is possible….

    Isn't that Christmas---still believing love is possible?!?!!

        Leta

Christmas is light!

December 23--Every Day--A New Amazement

Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.  --C. S. Lewis

    Anyone who has lived through raising a teenager will say "Amen!" to that statement. Kindness is the foundation, but one is required to be stern ever so often, and the ability to be so is quite splendid! Our common term is "tough love." 

    Note the photo below. I thought I had arrived in life and that I "had it all." But clearly that is not the case because I did not know I was missing an electric fly swatter. I took this photo recently at an estate sale. I did not have time to investigate the contents, and I believe I was a bit flabbergasted at the idea. So I did what any human does, I googled it. "Keep your indoor and outdoor areas clear of flies with this electric fly swatter. Using a powerful DC charge, this electric fly swatter will kill flies and other small bugs instantly." One review called it a "hand-held bug zapper." They are available everywhere! Batteries are required on most models, but I bet there is a USB-chargeable one out there. 

    Could this be the "ultimate Christmas gift" for "the person who has everything"?!?!?!!?

        Leta

Who knew!?!?!?

December 22--BREATHE!

I have been bent and broken, but--I hope--into a better shape.  --Charles Dickens

    As the actual holiday of Christmas Day approaches, I think it might be a good idea to pause and take a deep breath or two. Here is a breath prayer by Christine Aroney-Sine:

Breathe in the breath of God

Breathe out your cares and concerns

Breathe in the love of God

Breathe out your doubts and despairs

Breathe in the life of God

Breathe out your fears and frustrations

We sit quietly before the One who gives life and love to all creation

We sit in awe of the One who formed us in our mother’s womb

We sit at peace surrounded by the One who fills every fibre of our being

Breathe in the breath of God

Breath out your tensions and turmoil

Breathe in the love of God

Breathe out your haste and hurry

Breathe in the life of God

Breathe out your work and worry

We sit quietly before the One who gives life and love to all creation

We sit in awe of the One who formed us in our mothers’ wombs

We sit at peace surrounded by the One who fills every fibre of our being

Let us add peace to the world rather than fear and despair.

        Leta

December 21--Pure Gold

Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again--this is the brave and happy life.  --J. E. Buckrose

    Well! TACM (see yesterday's post) was definitely a case of "vanity bleeding." Ouch.

    My recovery day from TACM went extra-well. I played pickleball in the morning, so satisfying to knock something around with loads of laughter. I spent the afternoon proctoring student doctor encounters at KSCOM. The students were most excited about the imminent Christmas break. I finished my holiday shopping with a baby gift for my newest great-great-niece. Then came the highlight of the day: the annual production of "The Golden Girls" at Roxy's Downtown Dinner Theater. I was with a group of friends whom I had not seen in person for a while, and it was super to hug and catch up. The show was fantastic; I have not laughed that much in quite some time. It was the boost that my stay-up-thru-December efforts needed. 

    Onward,

        Leta

December 20--TACM

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.  --Dolly Parton

    I believe I have written in the past about The Annual Christmas Meltdown. At least once every Christmastime I have a full-scale soul-rinsing cry. It has actually been on Christmas Day many times and that can be annoying. It is often a mixture of happy and sad tears. TACM was this week on Wednesday. I received some news early in the day which triggered a massive amount of emotion (anger, hurt, grief), and I let it run its course over the day. Smacking around a pickleball helped vent some energy. Tears carried away much frustration. I sat in the dark and prayed for "help!" And I finally came to the conclusion that the news I received was actually none of my business, that I should adopt the wisdom to "not take anything personally," get my good Christmastime attitude back in place, and move on with life.   

    One day at a time,

        Leta

Our friends' fabulous antique
aluminum Christmas tree!!!

December 19--A Difficult Choice

Even when love isn't enough... somehow it is.  --Stephen King

    I have made the difficult decision to stop teaching MELT Method. I finished teaching yoga at the end of 2023, and offered MELT at the Clearwater Wellness Center on Tuesday nights throughout 2024. The switch of days did not go particularly well. I am planning on a lot of travel in 2025 and beyond. Lastly, it costs quite a bit annually to be an "official" MELT instructor, and what I make does not justify the expense. I will continue to practice for myself as I am a total believer in the effectiveness of the techniques to keep me moving comfortably. 

    My most long-term, dedicated student was the only one to show up for the last class. That was fine. About half-way through I announced my decision and offered to answer any questions. We had a loving discussion of appreciation for each other and our 13 years of learning together. I will miss the folks in the wonderful small town of Clearwater, Kansas. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to be of service there. 

    KEEP MOVING!!!

        Leta

The cool lights my husband installed on our house,
with nearly infinite colors and patterns!

December 18--Going Nuts

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.  --Mother Teresa

    We are blessed in Wichita to have two of the most awesome retailers on the planet--Nifty Nut and Spice Merchant. The latter is our source for fresh-roasted coffee beans and spices, and it is heaven-on-earth if you are a tea drinker. The owner has an excellent deal going wherein if one donates at least $30 per month to our local public radio station, KMUW, one gets a free pound of coffee beans each month. That's a no-brainer.

    Nifty Nut has every kind of candy, nut, dried fruit and munchie mix you can imagine, plus a whole lot more. Around holiday time, it is INSANE. Every Christmas they sell thousands of gift-wrapped boxes of mixed nuts. On Monday I braved the crowds for my one-time Christmas visit. The lines were several people deep. I knew it would be crazy, so I settled into roaming with my list in hand. Boy, did I get lucky--a worker who just finished with a customer saw me in a no-line spot and offered to help. He followed me all over the store packing up treats, and I was out of there in 20 minutes, nothing short of a miracle. While he was weighing out one of the items, he said, "I LOVE Christmas!" Given the madhouse, I said, "Are you being sarcastic?" He replied, "NO! I love this job. We are so busy, the time flies by." What a delight! He could have been cranky as hell given the environment, but he was choosing to dig every minute. 

    Nuts and coffee--two life essentials!

        Leta

Bins of coffee beans at the Spice Merchant

December 17--Let It Go

Nothing any good isn't hard.  --F. Scott Fitzgerald

    I am a "late bloomer" artist exploring with paints. Creative life energy goes into a painting and for the most part, I like what I paint. I've been considering lately if I am too attached to my creations. In my mind, I should be able to paint something then turn right around and paint over it and start something new. But NO! I want to keep these. 

    Enter the Universe giving me the "let go" message... The other day, my husband accidentally knocked off the stand a plant in a recently painted clay pot. I was able to re-pot the plant, and I think it will survive. The pot, however, went into the trash in over a dozen pieces. Goodbye, art. 

    I started another painting and promptly wrecked it with a glob of paint in a non-fixable spot. For the first time, I painted over the whole thing, and I'm starting over with a new idea that will come to me. I'm going with famous painter Bob Ross' sentiment: it was a "happy accident." I suspect I've made it over the "attachment" hurdle. 

    Have you noticed the ultra-cool, programmable, under-the-eaves lights that are appearing for the holiday? We have them! My husband braved the roof work and extension ladder climbs to install them with me nervously "holding" the ladder and being a runner. Our neighbor, a Broncos fan, has them also, and his were blue and orange on Sunday for the game. Fun, year-round lights with no more climbing, untangling, and fuss!!! Yippee!!!

    HO! HO! HO!

        Leta

More Christmas beauty from the Cleveland Zoo

December 16--Be Kind

The happiness of love is in action; its test is what one is willing to do for others. 
--Lew Wallace

May your holidays be filled with the spirit of joy, the wisdom of sight, the heart of love and the soul of light.  --Mary Davis

    I have been avoiding the mainstream news since the election in November. It has been a little weird sometimes, but in general I have been a much happier human. My husband will occasionally tell me a tidbit, like the murdered CEO. The other day I made the mistake of asking about Trump's cabinet selections, and my husband's brief reply caused instant "pissed off" feelings in my body. This was excellent confirmation that my no-news practice is working. I don't need to know the details of how the powers-that-be are determined to keep most Americans sick, dumb, poor and frightened. 

    Enjoying blissful ignorance and spreading kindness wherever possible,

        Leta

December 15--The "Ayes" Have It!

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.  --Audrey Hepburn 

    My son texted me several photos of my smiling grandsons yesterday, and that made my day. 

    Affirmations are a powerful tool for keeping my thoughts focused in a positive direction. I have several that I recite each morning. I am especially fond of affirmations that support my health. I am blessed with excellent health and speak positively about my body and thank it often throughout the day. This is not a silly process!

    My awareness has been expanding lately that I have been too accepting of the pitfalls of aging. For sure, I have aches and pains! Of course there are times I can't recall something! Yes, old people have trouble sleeping! It's always something!!! I've been mindlessly going along with these. Time marches on, certainly, but I don't have to invite the less popular aspects of aging into my experience.

    This new affirmation came to me lying in bed yesterday morning: "Aye!" My initial thought was "awesome, youthful, energetic!" "Aye" rhymes with "I" so it feels personal. You could select whatever a, y, and e words are meaningful to you. Now I'm inclined to go with "aware, youthful, energetic." It is a vote for vibrant health and happiness. 

    As always, take what you like and leave the rest 😉😉

        Leta

A - Y - E !!

My woman cave window garden...
all plants thriving at the moment...

December 14--Open or Closed?

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. 
--Chuck Palahniuk

    I recognize a couple life circumstances that have cut me open. One has been the great losses in my life--all the members of my family of origin and both sisters-in-law have passed. Grieving a death certainly does not generate immediate happiness. The "true happiness" comes in recognizing the gifts those loved ones gave us in our time with them.

    Choosing to be a parent and raising two sons... I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they make that decision. It totally qualifies for "completely cut open," and it has brought me more joy and happiness than I could ever have imagined. 

    In a more bizarre slant on this quote, I found much physical happiness, i.e. relief from pain, when the surgeon cut me open and gave me a new hip joint!

    When we are cut open--well, that's a wound. Wounds hurt. Yet they heal. Some take longer to heal than others. Our bodies, minds and spirits are continuously moving us toward wholeness. Let's go with that flow.

    Enjoy the weekend. Go, Chiefs!

        Leta

December 13--Just a Poke

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.  --David Sedaris

Blaming life for your misfortunes is like accusing your smart phone of running lousy apps. You're the one who downloaded them. --Pam Grout

    I found the Grout quote in my daily readings a couple days ago and felt compelled to share that fine analogy.

    After failing at the two previous attempts, earlier this week I was able to donate blood. I have been donating for decades, but have an occasional rejection due to my iron (hemoglobin) level not being up to Red Cross standards. Sharing this donation story with a friend prompted a discussion of "needles." My friend went on to describe many of the dreadful life experiences she has had with needles, an unfortunately common occurrence. I guess I have been lucky to avoid such trauma. Sure, the poke hurts, but to me, having birthed two children, a little needle stick is nothing. It is especially nothing when my blood goes to help another person. I am grateful for the excellent health that enables me to donate. 

    If you don't like needles, don't look at the photo. 

        Leta

The workers LOVE my big left-arm vein!

December 12--Flying Moments

Part of me believes that love is more valuable when you have to work for it. 
--Augusten Burroughs

    I take odometer photos often, as I am a "numbers nerd," and I find number patterns entertaining. I took this one in our RAV4 (affectionately known as "the Spaceship") a few days ago, and it set me to thinking about a "moment in time." At age 69, I am much more aware of the limitations of time. 

    Typically any odometer reading is a minute or so in time, and on that vehicle, you'll not see the same odometer number ever again. But wait! I took this photo when I had parked at the YMCA for a swim, so this odometer reading lasted almost two hours. 

    Time is fickle. A fun event speeds by and a dreaded chore drags on forever. Are you not amazed this December 12th how fast this year has flown!?!? Nowadays, my schedule has made Tuesdays challenging for me, and I am relieved each week to make it to Wednesday. Yet I remind myself to stop wishing my life away. The same applies to my desire to be past the Christmas holiday. 

    Staying in THIS moment in time and enjoying it,

        Leta

December 11--OK So Far

To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is preparation.  --Rainer Maria Rilke

    We are now two weeks away from Christmas. My plan to be less-Grinchy is working well, despite the fact that my friend is sending me photos from Jamaica (where I was with them the past three Decembers). I completed another painting (below). I have been debating whether I want to tinker with it more, but I am having ideas for another painting, so I suspect this one is finished. 

    I scored a set of 600 (yes, six hundred) LED lights with multiple functions at an estate sale for $4. It took me two days to attach them to our backyard lilac shrub. There is a plain white light setting, so I can leave them on the bush all year round, making it worth the effort. I have made progress in sewing gift bags to treat the neighbors. I am gradually getting my favorite Christmas decorations on display. My husband is putting up outside the ultra-cool, permanent, programmable, under-the-eaves lights.

    All that makes for a good life flow, yet I still have no idea what will be happening on Christmas Day or when we might see our kids or have our gift exchange. Mercifully, Christmas will come and go whether or not plans are made.

    Going with the flow,

        Leta

The "speckled" sections are glitter paint.

December 10--Loving the Vessel

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.  --Kahlil Gibran

    Well, duh, the perfect quote for Christmas time. And you can't give of yourself if you don't love and care for yourself. Here are wise thoughts on self-appreciation by Rev. Kris Alexander:

During my journey of self-love, I’ve been reflecting on the way our bodies change. Even when I think I finally reached the pinnacle of self-love, I inevitably wake up the next morning with another weird chin hair, random back pain or a giant zit on my face. No matter how much I love my body, it’s going to continue to age and change. This is part of why self-love is a journey.

On top of the societal soup of marketing, messaging, people, products and social media that suggests self-hate is the norm, we’re trying to love something that is constantly shifting, moving and changing right in front of us.
Love is both a noun and a verb. Just as I don’t expect those I love to stay exactly the same, I don’t expect my body to remain the same either. Love, then, becomes a conscious choice to show up, no matter what happens. I love my body no matter how it changes or if it no longer works the way it once did. This body is mine, and it’s the only one I’ll get in this lifetime, so I choose to unconditionally love it, just as it unconditionally loves me. Embracing changes with compassion and acceptance allows me to appreciate this amazing vessel that carries me through life. I honor the evolving nature of my body and my journey of self-love.
Affirmation: I consistently choose to love my incredible body unconditionally, embracing its changes with compassion as I move through the phases of my life.

    When we are good to our bodies, our bodies are good to us.

        Leta

Me at 5 and 68

December 9--Keeping Life Interesting

Life can be magnificent and overwhelming--that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live.  --Albert Camus

Sure, but how boring life would be without beauty, love or danger!!

This poem-prayer is by Ilia Delio, titled "The Christic":

I am looking at a tree, but I see such astounding beauty and
graciousness, the tree must be You, O God,
I look at the wild weeds playing across the fields, and their
wild joyful freedom speaks to me of You, O God.
Yesterday, I saw a child crying alone on a busy corner, and
the tears were real, and I thought, you must be crying, O God.
God, you are the mystery within every leaf and grain of sand,
in every face, young and old, you are the light and beauty
of every person.
You are Love itself.
Will we ever learn our true meaning, our true identity?
Will we ever really know that we humans are created for
love?
For it is love alone that moves the sun and stars
and everything in between.

We are trying too hard to find You, but You are already here,
We are seeking life without You, but You are already within,
Our heads are in the sand, our eyes are blinded by darkness,
our minds are disoriented in our desperate search
for meaning.
Because You are not what we think You are:
You are mystery.
You are here and You are not,
You are me and You are not,
You are now and You are not,
You are what we will become.
You are the in-between mystery
The infinite potential of infinite love,
And it is not yet clear what You shall be,
For we shall become something new together.

    The mystery is a magnificent thing.

        Leta

Fairchild Oak--a VERY old
live oak tree in Florida

December 8--We Are the Universe

Love is divine only and difficult always.  --Toni Morrison

From "Journey of the Universe" by philosopher Brian Swimme and historian Mary Evelyn Tucker:

We are the first generation to learn the comprehensive scientific dimensions of the universe story. We know that the observable universe emerged 13.7 billion years ago, and we now live on a planet orbiting our Sun, one of the trillions of stars in one of the billions of galaxies in an unfolding universe that is profoundly creative and interconnected. With our empirical observations expanded by modern science, we are now realizing that our universe is a single immense energy event that began as a tiny speck that has unfolded over time to become galaxies and stars, palms and pelicans, the music of Bach, and each of us alive today. The great discovery of contemporary science is that the universe is not simply a place, but a story—a story in which we are immersed, to which we belong, and out of which we arose.

This story has the power to awaken us more deeply to who we are. For just as the Milky Way is the universe in the form of a galaxy, and an orchid is the universe in the form of a flower, we are the universe in the form of a human. And every time we are drawn to look up into the night sky and reflect on the awesome beauty of the universe, we are actually the universe reflecting on itself. And this changes everything.

    We are immersed in beauty and love, let us enjoy the ride!

        Leta

My niece's Christmas village--she is 
much more ambitious than I am!

December 7--Going For It

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get--only with what you are expecting to give--which is everything.  --Katharine Hepburn

    My mind explores potential blog post themes as I wander through life. Sometimes a sign will inspire me, or an event of the day. Every now and then an idea won't leave me alone until I write about it. Such is the case today as I take on the human functions of farting and burping. 

    REALLY!?!?!?!?

    My husband is the oldest of three boys, and they are quite talented at those two functions, and still, in their 60s, entertain each other with those functions. My one b-i-l has been known to record his farts and send the recording to the other two. Plus we raised two sons, so the burping/farting enjoyment has been passed on to the next generation. That same b-i-l taught our sons to light farts, which at the time they thought was the coolest thing EVER.

    My mother once told me as a teenager that "no self-respecting woman would ever burp or fart in public." Now that I think about it, I'm amazed she said the word "fart." Fortunately I did not take this to heart, because she died at a young age, I'm assuming because she was so uptight!

    God was having an LOL moment when he created those functions for our magnificent bodies. Think of all the various musical sounds produced by burping and especially farting. 

    Doesn't it make you smile thinking about God cheering when you rip off a good one?!?!?!?

        Leta

There are LOADS of 
fart-themed t-shirts available!

December 6--Devotion

Love... is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. 
--Nicholas Sparks

    Around our house, the primary love language is acts of service. (See "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.) I maintained the home front for decades while my husband was the primary bread-winner. He worked all day, then came home and made the family supper nearly every evening. Now that he is retired from his computer-geek career, he is constantly busy either with around-the-house projects, walking the dog, or working part-time with Corporate Caterers. His "pattern of devotion" makes our lives quite wonderful. 

    I am not a complete slacker even though I do not feel compelled to be busy all the time. I take care of our household finances and the garden, and I occasionally do house-cleaning. My contributions are not as obvious as, say, replacing the deck (which my husband did), but I do believe I would be missed if I left the planet. My husband supplies the music and I supply the art for our household. 

    By the way, I have decided that I am completely comfortable calling myself an artist. It matters not whether someone sees or likes my various forms of art. So there!

        Leta

The start of the current painting

Painted, tape still intact... stay tuned

December 5--A Big Job

The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.  --Philip James Bailey

    This could be a definition of parenting. It brings you to both ends of the emotional spectrum and all points between, day after day, year after year. This includes even after the youngsters are long gone from "the nest." 

    I had training on Tuesday for an upcoming simulated patient gig. This activity has been very eye-opening for me. I personally am not very enamored with the medical profession as I believe it is completely insurance-driven, not patient-driven. Seeing these students in action impresses upon me how much they have to know, and what a hit-or-miss profession doctoring is. This encounter involves an exam of a patient who is simply "much more tired than usual." In "real" life, that could be a result of any number of things, and they are expected to figure it out in a very short time (because we know the speedy clock most docs operate under). I believe these students truly want to help people. I do wonder how much training or information they get on the behemoth that is the health insurance industry. 

    Continuing, one day at a time,

        Leta

More from the Cleveland Zoo
"Wild Winter Lights"

December 4--Indescribable

There ain't really no words for love or pain.  --Gloria Naylor

    I confess to the temptation to offer a blank blog post, since there "ain't really no words." 😉😉

    I'm not going to ramble at length about this quote. I think we have all had experiences of love and/or pain that felt impossible to describe in words. 

    I'm getting re-settled back into home life after vacation, and I am happy to return to painting and pickleball. In my commitment to not let the current events and political landscape bring me down, I am avoiding the news. I have been enjoying stories from upworthy.com that highlight the goodness and kindness of people. This helps to keep my thoughts focused on the positive, which is my small contribution to the mass consciousness right now.

    Faith over fear,

        Leta

What story are you composing?

December 3--Start with a Laugh

The greatest lie ever told about love is that it sets you free.  --Zadie Smith

    That's a good one! 

    When I am home, I start most every day with a good laugh. As I am relaxing in bed doing my spiritual practice and blog writing, my sweet husband brings me an excellent cup of coffee. He is usually accompanied by our pup Barney, who hops up on the bed, gets right in my face and checks out my morning breath. Every day! It's so comical! Then he lies down beside me and has an extra morning snooze. How can a day be bad that starts out that way!?!?!?

    I began working at West Heights UMC in the fall of 1999. I bought a Norfolk pine, potted it up, and decorated it like a Christmas tree. The lights stayed on. I brought it home when I left the job in 2006. Fast forward... yesterday I finally replaced the failing pine with a new one, lights and all. That first pine served me well for 25 years. One of my Christmas-time creativity projects is completed. 

    Aiming for the next right thing,

        Leta

The new planting...

December 2--Creativity Required

Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters.  --John Green and David Levithan

    I am a living. breathing, walking example of this quote. I am aware that fear is a much bigger character defect in me than I like. I also know that the potential negative consequences of what I might say, love or go to are simply not worth it. My life is working nicely if I don't get in my own way!

    I have gone nearly a month without seeing any news other than sports. The world and my life have continued to move on. Maybe it's because I've been on vacation, but I'm feeling less angry and bummed. In order to stay upbeat through December, I need to focus on the "next right thing to do." This is a common 12-step phrase encouraging me to stay out of baggage from the past and worries about the future. With my recent purchases of fabric and painting canvases, I have given myself plenty of creative options for this month. 

    Creativity is my best defense against negativity.

        Leta

My niece's Christmas decorations, and I helped!

December 1--It Didn't Work

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. 
--Sigmund Freud

    December's theme in "Daily Love" is SACRIFICE. 

    I have the Life Is Good shirt pictured here:

    Note what it says. I wore it specifically on my remaining (400 mile) drive home, hoping to avoid any snowy driving. It failed miserably. My normal six-hour drive (yes, I speed) took well over eight hours, and I had five hours on I70 in Missouri that were in heavy snowfall and slick, often icy roads. I thought I might need surgery to remove my shoulders from my ears as my neck and upper back were so tense. But, since I am writing this, you can see that I made it home in one piece, incredibly grateful. 

    And now it is December, the month containing Christmas. This is the third year that I don't get to spend the holiday with my kids and grandkids, so we will see if I am better able to cope with the month this year. I did not do well the past two Decembers, and I'm bummed that I'm not going to Jamaica this year with my friends to distract me. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta