The more I practice introspection and learn about myself as a spiritual being, and about the world as I've created it, the more I see that "should" and "shouldn't" are red flags of warning relative to one's peace of mind.
I think it's a reasonable statement that most of us would prefer to be living in a state of peace of mind. So if you are hearing "should" or "shouldn't" in your head, you are most likely not experiencing peace of mind. As Michael Singer tells us in his book, The Untethered Soul, most of us have an "inner roommate" who is into drama, waving the red flags mentioned, and generally into creating chaos.
Anyone (including your inner roommate) who is using those red flag words on you is trying to force you against your will. That may be telling you how you should or shouldn't behave, think, choose, be, and so on. Obeying these red flags means that we are either doing something we don't want to do, or not doing something we do want to do. If we don't obey them, then we often find ourselves apologizing, simply for making a choice that feels good and appropriate for us. This is what Ana Forrest refers to as "apologizing for your existence," which is a very unsatisfying habit.
Next time you say, "I'm sorry," take a moment to note if you truly are sorry. It's something we say out of habit, and it's tremendously over-used where not needed, and under-used where it's truly needed.
The first step is awareness. Begin to notice how much you are hearing "should" and "shouldn't." It's quite enlightening to pay attention to these red flags.
Joy and love,
Leta
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