April 7--Keep On Asking

I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.  --Richard Feynman

    Anyone who has even the occasional spiritual thought is going to come up with a question that can't be answered. Who am I? How does that spider spin such a perfect web? How does that tiny sperm and egg combination create a perfect human body? 

    Questioning, curiosity--these are inherent in our human nature. The look of wonder in a baby's eyes is the innate desire to explore and learn and experience this great wide world. It has been the job of most of the world's religions, unfortunately, to lay down answers that can't be questioned. Note that this goes against our deepest essence as humans. Therefore, it is not sustainable, as we are seeing so many fleeing the rigidity of established religion. 

    I've learned in life that many questions beginning with "why" cannot be answered. Maybe someday when we are no longer in human form????

        Leta

April 6--Get a Blankie

Everyone should have a blankie. It would make people a lot nicer.  --Leta Miller

    When I was little, I had a blankie. It was light green, silky and a huge comfort to me. I slept with it on my pillow. I, like Linus, was very attached to my blankie. I loved it so much that it eventually became worn and had a lot of holes. This did not matter one bit to me as a child. It did, however, bother my mother tremendously that I loved "that old thing." She threw it away a couple times, and I militantly dug it out of the trash. When she could tolerate my blankie no longer, she burned it, to get rid of it once and for all. My sister-in-law, recognizing the trauma of this, gave me my beloved Ted Bear as a replacement. Ted Bear still sits at my bedside today. 

    Fast forward about 50 years. When I was going through a period of intense counseling, I awoke to the idea that I would once again like to have a blankie. I found a soft fuzzy green one, not the same fabric, but the same color as the original. It is right next to me as I write this. It brings me comfort. I don't suck my thumb, however! My blankie is a place for me to feel snuggled, loved and peaceful. 

    Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if everyone felt snuggled, loved and peaceful? 

    Get yourself a blankie--I'll never tell!

        Leta

April 5--Uncertainty

GRIEF ==> Getting Really Into Every Feeling

    I think this is why grief is so difficult for us. There can be a very wide range of feelings, and so many of us are not all that well equipped to handle them. Grief's emotions tend toward the end of the feeling spectrum that we typically consider "negative"--sadness, fear, anger, frustration, loneliness, emptiness. 

    We mostly consider grief as an aspect of losing a loved one, but there are so many life experiences that can bring on grief. Personally, I would offer up aging as an instigator of grief. I'm reading the book: "The Inner Work of Age, Shifting from Role to Soul" by Connie Zweig, Ph.D. It's putting aging and ageism right in my face, and that's uncomfortable. I think of my young grandson and wonder how much of his life I'll get to see. There are so many questions and great uncertainty. As they say, getting old isn't for sissies. I do, however, prefer it to the alternative!

    One day at a time,

        Leta

April 4--Home and Taxes

Never make snow angels in a dog park.  --on a local sign

    I'm home from my Colorado trip--gratefully so, as the weather folks are predicting a spring snow out there. And I'm back at my part-time gig of tax work. It's April, the deadline looms, folks are stressed. Please be kind to your tax preparer! 

    This is my favorite time of year. Baseball season is just underway, and it's almost time for the NBA playoffs. Golfing and gardening are about to ramp up. We can spend happy hour outside on the deck most evenings. I don't have to bundle up to walk Barney. The Saturday Farmers' Market is once again open. 

    We don't know how many springtimes we'll get, so let's enjoy this one!

        Leta

April 3--So Much Fun Art

I want to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. 
--John O'Donohue

    Saturday turned out to be a lovely day in Fort Collins. It warmed up quite a bit and the fierce wind calmed down quite a bit. I met my son's family at a bakery where we sat outside and enjoyed pastries and warm drinks. Then we roamed Old Town to shop and soak up the spring weather. 

    There are several shops downtown that I enjoy because of the uniqueness of the art work I see there. Color and light excite me, and these shops are a mecca for those. Most of the stuff I could not do myself, but I like to look for ideas. I found one I believe I can do. See the photo below--it's taking an old wheel and decorating it. There were probably ten of various sizes and themes. I believe I can do that, it got my creative wheels turning (pun intended), and I've already asked my husband if he has any old bicycle wheels hanging around. I've been looking for an art project and I found one!

    Stay tuned to see what develops,

        Leta

April 2--Shop Till You Drop

Isn't "vegan butter" an oxymoron?  --Leta Miller

    I went with my son and grandson to Costco on Friday morning. My son was pushing Luca's stroller and I was woman-handling the large cart. I don't have a Costco membership, so going there with my son is an adventure. I am amazed at the bigness and all the stuff--consumerism at its finest. 

    As we were cruising around, I noticed a product called "vegan butter." Chasing my son and the stroller, I didn't have time to investigate it. Huh! I was raised in a family that worships real butter. My mother believed margarine was a Communist plot. The idea of some fake version shocked me. I'm sure it is a perfectly legitimate product, but it gave me a good quote for the blog 😉😉 

    I noted that even though the place was packed with shoppers, folks were polite and considerate in their movements. Check-out lines were long. No one seemed cranky--I received a lot of return smiles. Why can't we all get along that way outside Costco!?!?!

    Even though the place was packed, when we went to the vitamin section, it was nearly empty. The "junk food" sections seem much more appealing. I saw so many things I would love to eat, but recognized that the more appealing an item was, the less I needed it, for example, chocolate-covered mango slices. I know if I purchased a Costco membership for our home, that my husband and I would get a few good deals, yes, but we'd buy way too much stuff we don't need. 

    Less IS more.

        Leta

Lots of stuff at Costco

April 1--No More Foolin'

Let's try something new.  --Leta Miller

    We have finished the entire "Daily Gratitude" book, as I started with its quotes last April Fools Day. 

    Rather than pulling quotes from a book, I've decided to round them up here and there as I adventure through life. Some will be words of wisdom and profound insights from me. (That was supposed to make you laugh.) It heightens my listening and observing skills to seek out quotes and photo-ops for the blog. 

    I love this writing by James Finley about the first two of the Twelve Steps and the power of admitting:

We begin with the First Step: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.” The First Step, then, is admitting. I would like to reflect on the transformative power of admitting. This is a thing about the recovering community in all different modes. See, if you admit, you’re admitted. If you don’t admit, you’re not admitted. And, if you admit, you live; and if you don’t admit, you might die. So, what is it that makes admitting so extremely painful, and the very thing that’s so painful is the very thing that saves our lives? It would seem that the act of admitting is a great koan or a great riddle in our heart worth meditating on. It is this transformative point-of-entry that leads us ever deeper into the sobriety that we’re exploring.

What precedes admitting and makes admitting possible is hitting bottom. It’s very painful to admit that our lives have become unmanageable because we all need a sense of self-efficacy. We all need a sense of, “Look, I can handle this.”… So, what we’re really trying to do here is we’re coming to a painful place of admitting. The admitting then brings us to a place in which, if this is up to me, it is not looking good. As a matter of fact, if this is up to me, I think it’s despair. But the very fact that I’ve risked despair opens up a whole new possibility because maybe it’s not up to me. Maybe there’s another way.

The Second Step of the Twelve Steps is: “We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” As long as we were still holding on to this ideology of our brokenness as having the final say in who we are, we were not capable of seeing this, because we actually had faith in our own brokenness as the power to name who we are. John of the Cross says, “A person who can see a little bit will resist guidance; a person who cannot see at all will stretch forth their hands and be led to unknown places where they don’t know how to go.” This is really what admitting can do for us. Admitting is poverty of spirit; it is experiential humility. The act of admitting, then, opens up this paradoxical faith.

This is why I think the person on this healing journey in relationship to their Higher Power … comes to say to God: “You know, I don’t know who you are, but I do know who you are: you’re the one who saved my life. And I don’t know who I am, either, but I do: I’m the one you saved.”
(from Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation, March 29)

    Surrender--challenging but mighty powerful!

        Leta

The spiritual principles of each step