November 14--Unconditionally

The ultimate lesson is learning how to love and be loved unconditionally. 
--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

    It is easy to love the folks that we love. Well, that's mostly true. I love my sons dearly, but that love was frequently challenged during their teenage years. That is where the "unconditional" comes in. Even if I didn't like how they were behaving, I still loved them with all my being. Let's face it--even those we love the most have qualities or behaviors that annoy us, but we are able to love them in spite of all that. 

    Loving unconditionally means we love everyone, even those folks whom we deem completely unworthy of our love. Yuck, I don't like this, because this is so HARD. It has taken me a lifetime of internal work to have even the tiniest bit of love for my abusive older brother Ken. I've learned many a powerful spiritual lesson from his behavior toward me, and I can appreciate that. It often seems that there are just so many assholes out there, and the thought of loving them unconditionally seems nearly impossible. Learning to love is a practice, like all of life. 

    Maybe learning to be loved unconditionally is the toughest of all. It seems that early on in life we become clued into our many apparent faults and shortcomings, making it a challenge to maintain our sense of worthiness relative to love. Receiving back the love I circulate among family and friends is not something I dwell on much. I must confess there is always a bit of surprise in me when there is a specific expression of love returned to me. It is the thought of "Oh, yeah, I do have a positive impact on others." Learning to be loved is a practice, too. 

    Perhaps the best way to get a handle on unconditional love is via pet ownership. Our dog Barney is the epitome of unconditional love. And I love him even when he poops in the house because, God forbid, there's snow everywhere outside and therefore no suitable spot to leave his treasure. 😉😉
    The following is a prayer by Richard Rohr:

God, lover of life, lover of these lives,
God, lover of our souls, lover of our bodies, lover of all that exists . . .
In fact, it is your love that keeps it all alive . . .
May we live in this love.
May we never doubt this love.
May we know that we are love,
That we were created for love,
That we are a reflection of you,
That you love yourself in us and therefore we are perfectly lovable.

May we never doubt this deep and abiding and perfect goodness.

We are because you are.

    May we each recognize the extraordinary amount of love we have to circulate--give AND receive--to bless our world. 

        Leta

November 13--Heart Creativity

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.  --Marc Chagall

    Creating from the heart means creating in love. Creating from the head can bring in all sorts of motivations--greed, revenge, retaliation, control, proving oneself--which rarely work for long-term success. 

    Painting has been an activity that is pulling me from my head to my heart. That can be quite a lengthy trip! I had been painting the very specific and symmetrical patterns of barn quilts. I love the straight-line geometry of those, and they kept both my head and heart happy. Then I decided to do a straight-line but totally free-form painting. I knew only that I wanted an odd number of colors, and an odd number of patches of each color on the painting. I started with a shape in the center of the 2'x2' board, then added patches of other colors, working my way to the edges. I had no plan. I let my heart take me. I ended up using five colors in 11 shapes each. It is my favorite thing that I have ever painted. It's a gift for someone I love dearly, and knowing who the intended recipient is only added to the heart connection of creativity. 

    Make no mistake--"winging it" on this painting was a challenge for the organized, planner, see-the-end-result person I am. Creating from the heart is a practice for me for sure, and it feels really good. That is motivation enough.

    Leta

This is the referenced painting: 11:11.
(orange, dk green, gray, white, black)

November 12--A Little More

Always be a little kinder than necessary.  --J. M. Barrie

    These are excellent words to live by. We can't control others, but we do have a choice in how we interact with them. People have been starved for touch, kindness and human interaction, and then 2020 landed on us, exacerbating the situation exponentially. There is an overwhelming amount of grief in our country.

    Rarely does it take a lot of effort to be kind. Let's go the extra few inches. Smile. Say "please" and "thank you." State out-loud your appreciation for someone. Send a friendly email or text, or better yet, hand-write an actual letter (they are so fun to receive!). Have a masked-up porch visit with a friend or neighbor. Leave big tips. Adopt a dog. You know what sort of kindness best fits you--go for it!

    Leta

    

November 11--Stretch A Bit

You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery.  --Cheryl Strayed

    I begin with a huge "Thank you!" to all our veterans. Each one has stretched in the directions mentioned above, in myriad ways those of us non-veterans can't begin to imagine. I am grateful for your service. 

    I like the use of the word "stretch" in today's quote. That implies a gentle reaching into those areas listed, rather than a leap or dive. "Stretch" feels more like "dip your toe in the water, try it." 

    Stretch into goodness... try seeing good in every other human, no matter how challenging that may be. Believe people are good. Know that Something Bigger has your back. Know that life is meant to be enjoyed, not suffered through. Bring positive vibes to every situation. 

    Stretch into bigness... Think bigger. Imagine greater potentials. Here's a goofy example. My husband wants brighter lighting in the garage, where he is often working on projects. I'm thinking an obnoxiously bright, ugly fluorescent fixture. He's thinking LED, programmable, multi-color, dimmable--a fixture that makes both of us happy. I'm stretching into bigness when I find myself thinking, "Wow, you mean I could have that, TOO?!?!?"

    Stretch into kindness... This is our November theme. Start with kindness to yourself, and let that radiate from you. Remember that we don't know what someone is going through. While you wouldn't know by just looking at me, I had major surgery less than a month ago. I've asked for kindness in helping me carry heavy things over the past couple of weeks. Folks have lost loved ones. Folks are stressed. Life is changing faster than we can cope sometimes. A little stretch of kindness can go a very long way.

    Stretch into forgiveness... We remember that forgiveness is for us, not the other person, and it does not forget or condone the item forgiven. We can get much too accustomed to dragging around resentments. My favorite inspiration relative to forgiving quickly is that I don't want someone I resent living in my head rent-free. 

    Stretch into emotional bravery... This does NOT mean "suck it up and get over it!" This means feeling each and every emotion, one of the glorious benefits of human life. Emotional bravery is a direct connection to the heart rather than the head. It's using one's voice to say what needs to be said. It's grieving in a society that doesn't appreciate the necessity of grief. It's crying without apologizing. Emotional bravery is stating one's needs without people-pleasing. It's a recognition that each one of us is here at this time for a good reason. 

    Gentle stretching--it's good for us!

        Leta

November 10--Make More Good

Anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given.  --Deepak Chopra

    What is "of value in life?" Love, serenity, harmony, listening, being heard, understanding, appreciation, kindness, joy, sacred awe, curiosity, respect, freedom, caring, gratitude, creativity, cooperation, loyalty, reliability. That's a good list for starters. And yes, every one multiplies when it is given. Pick one and spread it around today. See what happens. FUN!

    Leta

November 9--One Good-Hearted Person

The effect of one good-hearted person is incalculable.  --Oscar Arias Sanchez

    I will bet that if you take a few moments to think of those good-hearted folks in your life, that you will come up with at least several that have had an incalculable effect on you. I think first of my mom and dad. Though they had their faults, they were most definitely good-hearted and had a huge effect on me. Then there are my husband and my kids, whose good hearts have had infinite love and lessons for me. I am also blessed with many friends who have profoundly affected my life. I even mention with great gratitude the hip surgeon who has given me an aligned body and a new lease on life. In all these instances, these folks have been simply living their lives, doing what they do, and each has had a wonderful effect on me. While there are big "save the world" personalities out there, and their good hearts are having great effects, I am most profoundly blessed by the ordinary daily interactions of life.

    Do I have a good heart? Do I affect people in positive ways? I like to think the answer is "yes" to both of those questions. There is the key to the quote: we don't know for sure what effect our good-hearted acts of kindness might have, nor on how many people. I'm OK with that. Living from a good heart is reward enough, and the effects are up to something bigger than me. 

    Bless our hearts!

        Leta

November 8--Speak with Love

The only way to speak the truth is to speak lovingly.  --Henry David Thoreau

    I did not realize how much angst I was carrying relative to the presidential election outcome until it all went away yesterday afternoon. Last evening I listened to the speeches by Harris and Biden in Delaware. They spoke lovingly. I cried with relief. There was no need to analyze for lies. They spoke the truth, and the joy on the faces of the supporters who were present was glorious to see. History has been made--our first female Vice President. 

    To speak lovingly is really the only way to accomplish anything. Criticism, anger, condescension, mocking, threats--none of those modes of speech achieve anything but defensiveness, resistance and resentment. I remind myself, when faced with an interaction in which I want to achieve a goal, to take a few moments to breathe deeply, collect my thoughts, and hold the upcoming interaction in love, peace and kindness. I won't deny that there have been plenty of times where I simply wanted to "rip someone's head off." Those times gave me good examples of what doesn't work, and reminded me of the value of speaking lovingly. 

    After four years of lies spoken with no love, I am looking forward to "the better" I know that most of us humans are. 

    Leta