May 31--A Good Ordinary Day

Celebrate small moments and find joy in small things.  --Mary Davis 

    Today's agenda is to drink coffee, go to the Farmers' Market, get gas, swim laps, do my strengthening and stretching exercises, take a nap, watch the Cubs game, give Barney some belly-rubs, and maybe do some gardening. There's nothing extraordinary in that list, but I shall enjoy every item. As I focus on the next right thing to do, it is easier to let worries or negative thoughts fall to the wayside. 

    Last night I was able to volley the pickleball against the garage door for a few minutes. While my stamina has a long way to go, I celebrate this milestone which supports my goal of returning to pickleball (very carefully and gently) next Monday. Last night's experiment felt great, and I did not stumble or feel as klutzy as I thought I might. Yippee, I'm getting my life back!!!

        Leta

A recent "breakfast for lunch"--
bless my husband, an excellent cook!!

May 30--Death by Poison

One of the great surprises on the human journey is that we come to full consciousness precisely by shadowboxing, facing our own contradictions, and making friends with our own mistakes and failings.  --Richard Rohr

    The idea of poison will not leave me, so here goes. 

    I have reached the conclusion that we humans do not need war, weapons or nukes to destroy ourselves. We are slowly and methodically poisoning ourselves on every level. 

    Physical poisoning is blatantly obvious, with our polluted air and water, destruction of habitat and species, ever-increasing destructive weather events, poisonous chemicals used on our food... I could write for days on this one.

    Emotional poisoning--"Us vs. Them" is killing us. From private homes to the biggest political stage, abuse is rampant. Healthy processing of emotions is discouraged, and the "baggage build-up" is overwhelming us.

    Mental poisoning--We are living in a society based on lies. It is nearly impossible to feel confident in any news source. We are rapidly having our inalienable rights taken away with such efforts as book-banning, restrictions on protests and gerrymandering.

    Spiritual poisoning... All of the other poisons are damaging our spirits. Religion is not helping, but rather contributing by such practices as hatred of LGBTQ+, priests' sexual abuse, mistreatment of women and denial of basic human rights, demanding allegiance to human-made rules. 

    Are we capable of stopping this slow suicide?

        Leta

May 29--Open to Light

I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.  --J. R. R. Tolkien, "The Hobbit"

    This quote attracted me especially with "keep the darkness at bay." We need only glance at that electronic brick in our hands to see an infinite amount of darkness. The darkness that is most troubling to me is the amount of misinformation and outright deception that is being passed off as truth. Our current political leaders have built their careers and thrive on this. This is generating a huge amount of mistrust, which is not the direction we need to be headed. 

    I explored the term "woke" used by conservatives as an insult to the rest of us. This is what I found via Google:

"Woke" fundamentally means being aware of systemic issues and injustices. It often implies a commitment to social justice and fighting against discrimination and oppression. It can also involve being mindful of different cultures and perspectives. In essence, "woke" represents a call to be informed, aware, and engaged in addressing social and political issues, while also being subject to debate and critique.

    This is a bad thing!?!?! I'm OK being called "woke." I guess the opposing side is asleep? dead? comatose? They are certainly acting that way! 

        Leta

May 28--More Shadow Thoughts

I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge others. 
--AA Daily Reflections, May 28

Whenever... any true believers, are too anti anything, we can be pretty sure there’s some shadow material lurking somewhere nearby. Zealotry often reveals one’s overly repressed shadow.  --Richard Rohr

    Having lived in Kansas for over 40 years, these quotes remind me of the whack-job minister and extreme zealot, Fred Phelps, who made it his mission in life to protest/torture/revile gays. I'd bet he had enormous homosexual desires that he covered with zealotry. Oh, but, wait--that's not mine to judge!

    Shadow-work, getting to know both our dark and light aspects, leads to living in integrity, at peace with oneself, thereby supporting the global peace we all desire. We have to do it individually--it cannot be legislated or enforced. It can be quite unpleasant wandering through one's personal "muck," but the freedom on the other side is worth the effort. The result is described by Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf:

Looking into the darkness or living with shadow awareness is not an easy path…. Rather, to live with shadow awareness we follow the detours; we walk into the debris, groping our way through dark corridors and past dead ends. Shadow-work asks us to turn in that direction.

It asks us to stop blaming others.
It asks us to take responsibility.
It asks us to move slowly.
It asks us to deepen awareness.
It asks us to hold paradox.
It asks us to open our hearts.
It asks us to sacrifice our ideals of perfection.
It asks us to live the mystery.

We suggest that you relate to the shadow as a mystery, rather than as a problem to be solved or an illness to be cured.

    I like the idea of exploring the mystery rather than fixing something.

        Leta

May 27--Our Shadows--Always with Us

Every act of kindness is multiplied exponentially as it spreads from soul to soul. I have the power to change the world for the better.  --Mary Davis

    Richard Rohr's Daily Meditations from the Center for Action and Contemplation have been focusing on our shadow--"what we refuse to recognize about ourselves and what we do not want others to perceive." We all have a shadow, and some deal with it better than others. Shadow work can, as it did for me, lead to addiction recovery--the 12-Step programs are excellent at processing one's shadow. 

    Ruth Haley Barton offers this regarding the discovery of our shadow:

There is some behavioral pattern, something unresolved, something out of control enough, something destructive enough, that we say, “I must go into solitude with this.” We thought we had kept it fairly well hidden. We thought we could manage it or at least keep its destructive nature fairly private, but now here it is—out there for all to see—and it is wreaking havoc on our attempts to accomplish something good.  

    This points to the huge amount of work I have done post-trip on my anger and resentment and those things I had hoped to leave in Bali. (See May 23 post.) I'm well aware that I have a very angry shadow, and that anger raging through my body as sciatica pain certainly demanded my attention. 

    Grateful for ongoing healing,

        Leta

Shadow art by Fabrizio Corneli

May 26--Remembering

Life is fragile. Love is eternal.  --Mary Davis

    I remember my mom, dad, two brothers, and three sisters-in-law who have passed. I have always lived a great distance from the grave sites, so I am not one to put flowers or whatever on them on this holiday. Even if I still lived in the area, I would not do so. I respect those who do participate in that ritual, but it confuses me. I think about one or more of these folks every day, so I do not need a special day or ritual to remember them. I honor the love we shared for a lifetime, and I'm grateful, even with many challenges, for the time we had together here on Planet Earth. Both of my brothers served in the U.S. military.

    The photo below is my parents' grave marker--note that they died on the same date, 21 years apart. Mom's favorite--roses--are permanent on the marker. 

        Leta

May 25--Beauty Sustains Us

I feel the joy of being alive and allow myself to expand through beautiful works of nature, music and art.  --Mary Davis

    I am pondering the "beautiful works of nature, music and art" that have graced my life. Nature was the first and foremost beauty, as I was born and raised in the magnificently beautiful boondocks of central Pennsylvania. We didn't live on a farm, but we were surrounded by them. My mother had a huge garden and with her preservation talents, she provided us with fruit and vegetables year-round. There were always flowers blooming, too--her roses were her pride and joy. My designated "most beautiful spot on the planet" is Alan Seeger Nature Area which was about ten miles from my PA home and the site of many a family picnic. My mother's creativity lives with us today in the braided rugs on the floor, the doilies here and there, and the crocheted afghans that warm us in the winter. 

    I have very limited musical talent, as in, I will sing out loud when no one else is around. Luckily I get my music fix from my very talented husband, who graces our home with mandolin and guitar music on a regular basis. One of the things our sons said they missed the most after leaving home was going to sleep at night listening to Dad playing music. My most recent spectacular musical experience was a symphony concert at the Sydney Opera House Concert Hall in Australia. 

    One of my favorite things to do in a new-to-me city is go to the art museum. Imagine my joy, when a few years ago at a "drink and paint" adventure with friends, I learned that I, too, could paint! Monet, I am not, but if you can smear paint on something, well, there you have it--you can paint. I've been making art for several years, taking classes even. I don't expect to have my work in the Louvre, but I certainly have enjoyed the spiritual expansion that painting has given me. 

    I'm so grateful that nature, music and art enable us to rise above the apparent ugliness of the world.

        Leta

One of the barn quilts I painted
during the pandemic

May 24--Let Us Lighten Up

Meditation is serious business.  --Leta Miller

    Right? You have to do it a certain way, in a certain position, for a certain length of time, and maybe wait years to get any result. Doesn't that sound like fun!??!!!
    The Something-Bigger-Than-Me that I connect with does not care about my position (straight spine no longer works for me), whether I connect for 2 seconds, 2 minutes or 2 hours, knows my scatter-brain intimately, and just enjoys being me and supporting me as I muddle through life. Sometimes I fall asleep and snore, and It still loves me.

    Here is a fun practice from Mirabai Starr (taken from today's Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation):

Sit in a comfortable position... allow your eyes to close, take a couple of deep, slow breaths, and ask yourself the question “Who am I?” Rather than responding in the negative, say yes to whatever arises. I am a mother and a daughter, a sister and a lover: yes. I am a cabinet-maker, a gardener, an activist: yes. I am a sensitive person, a drama queen, a tortured artist: yes. I am someone others can come to when their hearts are broken because I listen with love: yes. I am a part of the vast universe, no more or less important than an aspen tree: yes. Now, get creative: I am sunlight on water, a breeze that lifts my hair, the stillness of midnight, a symphony: yes.

You are all of these and beyond them all. You get to be both vast and particular, formless and gloriously made. By accepting all the scruffy and magnificent details of your human condition, and allowing seemingly contradictory things to be equally true, you banish the conditioned voice that designates some things as holy and others as profane. Set your intention to welcome everything you are and watch your life open like a fist, like a flower, like a gate.

    Imagination is holy.

        Leta

May 23--A Rough Route

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Understand more. Judge less. Remember the soul behind every unique opinion.  --Mary Davis

    One of our assignments for the recent Bali tour was to bring an object representing "baggage" we wanted to release. I created a small painting encompassing those things and left it in a temple there. Lots of "yuck" gone, right? Easy-peasy, huh? Not so fast. Alas, considerable "yuck" remained with me at the cellular level and returned home with me in the form of very painful sciatica. In hindsight, I see this was part of the quite powerful cleansing process that began in Bali. The only way I could cope with the pain was by crying, screaming, raging, cursing--that is, venting a LOT of energy. I also did a lot of non-dominant-hand writing, and I created an "anger" painting using only my right index finger to apply the paint. 

    Now that I am pain-free and working relentlessly to regain my strength and balance, what is the end result? I am much calmer and slower to anger. My body feels free of huge amounts of angst. Those things that were so distressing about my offspring have at least moved to the point of "oh, well, life goes on." I have considerably more compassion for those in great pain of any sort. I recognize grief and disappointment as part of life and can hopefully pass through those more easily. I'm paying more attention to and appreciating those things I used to take for granted. I am changing my focus relative to aging (see May 4 post). 

    I would not want to pass through these past seven weeks again for any amount of money, but I appreciate the ongoing relief.

        Leta

Gaia's magnificent handiwork--
lilies harvested from my garden
a few minutes ago 😀

May 22--"Play Ball!" and Paint

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.  --George Will

    I saw a classic move in the Cubs game yesterday, which surprisingly went unmentioned by the announcers. The umpire made a bad call--the pitch was low, a ball, but the umpire called it a strike. The batter (Tucker for the Cubs) simply reached down and brushed off home plate, as in, "let me help you out, ump, since you're clearly having trouble seeing the plate." Great move!

    It is progress in recovery when I am willing to paint. When I was in severe pain, I couldn't even think about painting. I need a clear connection to Spirit for ideas, and the connection was pure static, to put it mildly. I did do an "anger" painting as the pain eased up some, but I shall keep that rather graphic one to myself. Now that I am mostly pain-free (just regaining my strength and balance), a new idea came to me for a set of three small square canvases. Yes, there are more straight lines and bright colors, which comfort me in our "messy" world.

    And the lilies are blooming! Those are my favorite flowers--you shall see them in future posts.

        Leta

Three times the fun!!

May 21--100% Here and There

When I remember my gratitude list, it's very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.  --AA Daily Reflections, May 21

    This quote made me smile. I am 100% guilty sometimes of thinking that God is picking on me. Or laughing at me. Or conspiring to thwart my "best laid plans." Or just plain ignoring me. 

    I've been thinking often about faith. I have 100% faith that when I push the button, my vehicle will start. I have 100% faith as I drive over the upcoming bridge that it will hold me and not collapse. I have 100% faith that the Earth will continue to rotate and the sun will continue to shine. But do I have 100% faith in God/Spirit/Universe?!? Obviously not, when I admitted above that I sometimes feel It is picking on me. 

    Alas, as erratic as it may be, a belief in Something Bigger Than Me is a requirement for a sane, happy, useful life. I'm so glad I have eternity to work on it!

        Leta

This goober--I love him 100%!!

May 20--Stronger Every Day

Our shining, inner beauty is always there--a radiant, beaming, powerful light. Never worry that you have lost your mojo. You can't lose it. It's who you are. It just gets covered by the weight of the world, and when you're ready, you have the power to reclaim your power.  --Mary Davis

    "I want to get back to pickleball!" Those were my magic words a couple visits ago which inspired my physical therapist to do his very best to kick my ass. I love it. I make him laugh a lot. I whine, then say "bring it on." For some of the more challenging things, he adds ankle weights on me. I would proudly say that he got me sweating yesterday, but actually, I can work up a sweat just sitting in a chair 😏 Also yesterday, I pushed myself to walk by parking far away at the YMCA, and I went into PT without my cane. I was able to "monster walk" in open space without using the bar, a huge step in balance-improvement for me. 

    I'm eyeing June 2 as my gentle return to pickleball. I'll keep you posted!

        Leta

Onions neglected a year ago
put on a spring show!

May 19--He's Going With the Flow

Disconnect to reconnect. Unplug to get centered. Step away to come closer. Peaceful energy is just a breath away.  --Mary Davis

    Today's quote encourages getting away from our tech devices, and the larger reading suggests a "Tech Sabbath" one day a week. While I like the idea a lot, I can see that it would be, at least initially, a challenge for me. I would have to hide my phone. I shall ponder this idea more...

    My niece, two nephews and a great-nephew made the journey this weekend from Ohio to the boondocks of central Pennsylvania to release the ashes of my brother (their dad & grandpa) in the requested spot. Known in our family as "Doc Miller's dam," it is a small pond/dam in Stone Creek in Huntingdon County. My brother's idea is that he would then flow from Stone Creek into the Juniata River, then into the Susquehanna River, which eventually leads to the Atlantic, where his wife's ashes were released, and after all that, they would be reunited. In any case, he has a magnificently beautiful journey ahead through the mountains, forests and farmlands of PA. 

    I miss you, big brother!!

        Leta

The Juniata River, central PA, 
part of Arlie's beautiful journey

May 18--More Gentleness, Please

Send your light into the darkness and your peace into the world.  --Mary Davis

    Mary Davis wrote a lovely prayer in today's reading which sends blessings and peace to those touched by:

• war
• grief
• illness
• abuse
• discrimination
• depression
• poverty
• loneliness

    Unless you have been active military, most of us in the U.S. are clueless about the horrors of war. Any of the others listed, however, could hit very "close to home." I was with a friend last night whose mother and husband passed recently within a month of each other. We have both been alive around seven decades, and we agreed that grief and loneliness are just facts of life now. We have to work at it to get out of the house and be social, or depression too easily follows. 

    I would venture that most folks have been touched by one or more in the above list. Let us be gentle with one another!

        Leta

May 17--Appreciating Kindness

Kindness changes the world one heart at a time.  --Mary Davis

    My parking angels were lovingly laughing at me yesterday. I was meeting a friend for lunch at Larkspur in Old Town, and the angels cleared for me the perfect parking spot as close as I could be to the restaurant. This is very helpful as I am still regaining my walking strength. Long story short, I did not pay close attention to the text from my friend naming the restaurant, and I was in the wrong place, great parking space wasted. She warned me that parking at the correct establishment was "crazy." The folks at the first restaurant were very kind to me when I admitted my screw-up. Off I went to the intended spot, and my parking angels overlooked my dumb move and gave me another spot right next to the restaurant. How's that for kindness?!!?! My friend and I had a lovely visit despite starting a bit later than we had planned. 

    My almost-three grandson wears a cap that says, "Always Be Kind." 

        Leta

May 16--I'm OK with Boring

May the blessings of this day radiate through your smile, be helpful through your hands and shine through your heart.  --Mary Davis

    I'm noting that life is kind of boring right now, and I'll take that. My days routinely include a PT or chiropractor appointment, doing stretching and strengthening exercises, swimming, napping, watching baseball and basketball, and happy hour on our deck with my husband when he is not doing catering gigs. The big thing that is missing right now is pickleball, but I am determined to return to that passion. I am slowly "getting my life back." Having lost my usual level of activity for weeks has made me very determined to not take the simple ("boring") things of life for granted. 

    Time to stretch!

        Leta

The Denver Nuggets outstanding center court logo!

May 15--The Sacred Feminine

There is grace in the sunrise, in the light of a new day.  --Mary Davis

    This is "food for thought" from the Richard Rohr Daily Meditation from May 12:

Novelist Sue Monk Kidd describes why cultivating an image of the Sacred Feminine is so important, particularly for women raised within Christianity:  

A young girl learns Bible stories in which vital women are generally absent, in the background, or devoid of power. She learns that men go on quests, encounter God, and change history, while women support and wait for them. She hears sermons where traditional (nonthreatening) feminine roles are lifted up as God’s ideal. A girl is likely to see only a few women in the higher echelons of church power.  

And what does a girl, who is forming her identity, do with all the scriptures admonishing women to submission and silence? Having them “explained away” as the product of an ancient time does not entirely erase her unease. She also experiences herself missing from pronouns in scripture, hymns, and prayers. And most of all, as long as God “himself” is exclusively male, she will experience the otherness, the lessness of herself; all the pious talk in the world about females being equal to males will fail to compute in the deeper places inside her.

When we truly grasp for the first time that the symbol of woman can be a vessel of the sacred, that it too can be an image of the Divine, our lives will begin to pivot…. Internalizing the Divine Feminine provides women with the healing affirmation that they are persons in their own right, that they can make choices, that they are worthy and entitled and do not need permission. The internalization of the Sacred Feminine tells us our gender is a valuable and marvelous thing to be.

    I grew up with the "big scary male God." Having had a good relationship with my father, I realize that I tend to think of God as a "sugar Daddy." My concept of Something Bigger continues to develop, without modern-day religion, and that's a good thing. I am forever grateful to the 12-Step program for giving me permission to live within and connect with a Higher Power that works for me. 

        Leta

The entertaining sign of a local Wichita liquor store

May 14--"Monster Walking"

I am thankful for the blessings of this day and for the miracles that are yet to unfold.  --Mary Davis

    The first blessing and miracle of the day is that we are here breathing and primed (with coffee) for another day on planet Earth. Some of us will flow through it with ease; others will slog through it. It's a choice, and we can choose differently at any moment of the day. I am especially thankful for being able to sleep comfortably in my own bed after weeks of sleeping in a recliner.

    I have adopted this affirmation: "I am stronger every day." At PT this past Monday, the therapist started working with stretchy bands around my legs doing "monster walking." Given the sciatica-induced weakness in my left leg, these are very challenging. These are, however, the exercises that will restore my balance and get me back to pickleball. 

    It's time to do those exercises!

        Leta

My MELT band, roller and balls
are a huge part of my recovery!

May 13--All Parts Matter

    Today I am sharing a poem from the May 10 Richard Rohr "Daily Meditation." It was written by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer.

 Letter to the Parts of Me I Have Tried to Exile

I’m sorry. I thought banishing you
was the way to become better,
more perfect, more good, more free.
The irony: I thought if I cut you off
and cast you out, if I built the walls
high enough, then the parts left would be
more whole. As if the sweet orange
doesn’t need the toughened rind,
the bitter seed. As if the forest
doesn’t need the blue fury of fire.
It didn’t work, did it, the exile?
You were always here, jangling
the hinges, banging at the door,
whispering through the cracks.
Left to myself, I wouldn’t have known
to take down the walls,
nor would I have had the strength to do so.
That act was grace disguised as disaster.
But now that the walls are rubble,
it is also grace that teaches me to want
to embrace you, grace that guides me
to be gentle, even with the part of me
that would still try to exile any other part.
It is grace that invites me
to name all parts beloved.
How honest it all is. How human.
I promise to keep learning how
to know you as my own, to practice
opening to what at first feels unwanted,
meet it with understanding,
trust all belongs, welcome you home.

    This really speaks to me as there have been many parts I have tried to exile over the years. 

    Let us be loving and compassionate toward all our parts.

        Leta

At a temple in Bali...
be we frog, princess, or prince,
let us love all our parts!

May 12--MD Recap

Inhale: Love in. Exhale: Love out.  --Mary Davis

    Recently in my prayer/bead/music/meditation time, I've been simply sending love to various folks rather than asking for anything. It feels better. And I always close with this: "Please help all of us to be kinder to each other and kinder to our magnificent planet." 

    I read a Mother's Day devotional this morning, and it acknowledged the fact that Mother's Day can be quite dicey. Some beloved mothers have passed. Some mother-child relationships are not the best. Children and significant others can be forgetful. Let's just say that I'm generally glad when MD has passed. However, I had quite a fun day yesterday. I rode with two friends to Kansas City, MO, where we enjoyed "Smoga" and "Puff & Paint" classes. (I'll just leave it to your imagination or Google to figure those out.) Both my sons called, and my husband baked peanut butter cookies. All in all, I'd vote this to be one of my better Mother's Days. Plus it is over for another whole year!

        Leta

Hanging outside the warehouse
space where we had our KC fun

May 10--Precious and Amazing

We have but one precious life and so many amazing choices.  --Mary Davis

    I'm sitting here thinking about a couple of choices that I made somewhat haphazardly, and how they changed the course of several lives in addition to mine. 

    When I finished college, I wanted to get as far away as possible from my dysfunctional Pennsylvania family. I was accepted at the University of Minnesota grad school of business before I could find a far-away job, so I went to Mpls/St Paul and got an MBA, then my first post-school "real" job through which I eventually met my husband. He grew up in Missouri and I grew up in PA. Many amazing choices, including my fanatic love of baseball, happened to bring us together.

    At the aforementioned job, one spring day a coworker asked me to join the company golf league. I said that I had never played. She said, "You're athletic, you'll be fine." (I still giggle at that one!) The next day we went to a par-3 course, I rented clubs and shot 127, and nevertheless, fell in love instantly with the game. I bought a set of clubs the next day. That choice to try something new has brought me some of the best friends and experiences of my life. Best of all, it gave me the privilege of teaching my two sons to golf. They are avid golfers to this day. 

    Maybe you are thinking about some of your big choices?

        Leta

P.S. I'm taking tomorrow off to celebrate Mother's Day with two dear friends. I'll return on the 12th.

May 9--I Guess I'm "Trusting the Process"

The door that closed was not your door. Your door will invite you in.  --Mary Davis

    When I left for the "big trip of a lifetime" back in February, I was in great shape. I had been walking extra miles because I knew the trip would require many steps from me. I was doing my usual swimming and pickleball-playing. Little did I know that I would come home in pain, and now, over a month after my homecoming, my main task is to get back in shape. I am faithful doing my at-home exercises. I am walking with a cane, primarily to keep my gait as normal as possible and not mess up some other body part(s) by limping. [Here I must confess that I am a klutz and often trip over the cane because it is so foreign to me!] A few days ago, my husband offered the idea of getting a handicap placard, to which I replied, "My goal is to die without ever having one of those." I do, however, appreciate the parking angels who gift me with an extra-close space when I think to ask. 

    I guess I wrote this to point out to myself that I have made HUGE progress in healing, despite the fact that it feels like I have slogged miserably through the past few weeks. 

    I don't think I have ever claimed that patience is one of my big virtues!

        Leta

More Chihuly beauty,
Adelaide, Australia

May 8--My Preference

Have faith. Dream big. Lead with your heart. Follow your bliss.  --Mary Davis

You and I are placed in this world of hatred, violence, anger, injustice, and oppression to help God transform it, transfigure it, and change it so that there will be compassion, laughter, joy, peace, reconciliation, fellowship, friendship, togetherness, and family, and so that black and white people would want to be together as members of one family: God’s family, the human family. 
--Archbishop Desmond Tutu

    Having a narcissistic dimwit as US president, constantly scheming and lying, always in the news, it is easy to see our world as full of "hatred, violence, anger, injustice, and oppression," as he continually encourages those things. I am saddened by the level of ignorance, stupidity and greed that supports such behavior. 

    I prefer "compassion, laughter, joy, peace, reconciliation, fellowship, friendship, togetherness, and family." Therefore, I must keep reminding myself that humans are overall good, and that we CAN transform our world and change our direction for the better. This requires constant re-direction of my thoughts. 

    "Have faith. Dream big." We can get there!

        Leta

From the Chihuly Glass exhibit
in the Adelaide Botanical Garden,
Australia

May 7--Painting Emotions

I flow with what life offers me today.  --Mary Davis

    I have the option to flow or resist. Resistance takes much more energy, so right now, I'm choosing to flow. I may have to remind myself of that choice many times throughout the day!

    I have returned to painting. I was not able during the worst of the sciatica to will myself to sit and paint. Anxiety was overwhelming my creativity. Yesterday in a session with my spiritual coach, I came up with an idea for an "anger" painting. Being in extreme pain stirred up and moved a huge amount of anger through me, and now I am ready to paint it. It will be done only with fingers--no brushes or other utensils. This is likely one I will keep to myself. We shall see...

        Leta

Leta's fun with paints, several years ago

May 6--An Assortment

Listen to the heart. It always knows.  --Mary Davis

    Until I come up with another source, I will be using Mary Davis quotes from her excellent "daybook" titled "Every Day Spirit." Her daily wisdom is a bright spot in my morning spiritual practice. 

    Her May 4 writing is titled "Friends Are Diamonds." It lists the many wonderful qualities and practices of good friends. I took a photo of the page and sent it to several friends. I encourage you today to let at least one friend know how important she/he is to you.  

    Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo, and nearly a dozen of us used that as an excuse to party on a Monday night. We gathered on a Mexican restaurant's patio enjoying a glorious evening of good food and silliness. This group is made up of really fine folks with whom I feel very comfortable. I am blessed to be included in the fun!

    Also yesterday I had my first application of dry needling at PT to help my sciatica situation. I consider dry needling to be the medical-insurance-approved name for acupuncture, but I know the therapist would disagree. In any case, it massively helped the "concrete" knot in my left butt cheek, that troublesome piriformis muscle. Mercifully, it did not hurt at all, unlike when I had it on my left shoulder and pectoral muscle a couple of years ago.  

    Onward, another day of healing,

        Leta

May 5--Weird Wonder

Speak low if you speak love.  --William Shakespeare

    Because having dirt under my fingernails is so good for my soul, today's topic is gardening. In a hopeful-I'll-get-over-this move, I purchased three flats of flowers--that's 108 plants. Yesterday I planted two of the flats, mostly going into pots, the rest going into our front bed. I was able to sit to plant all of it, and though I'm a bit sore this morning, I'm pleased with the efforts. I could not have done it without my husband's help as he had prepped the pots for me, then moved them to their destinations. As a reward, he now has a useful herb pot on the deck to flavor his excellent cooking. 

    There is a spot in the garden where a weird alien something has sprouted. It's sorta tough to see in the photo, but they are about 2" tall, cream-color, with a pink curved part at the top. They break off when touched and the flies LOVE them. Nothing is planted in this area. Googling suggests that they may be some kind of mushroom. Even though they creep me out, I also find them a source of wonder because in my 45+ years of gardening, I have never seen such a thing. 

    Nature is full of surprises, if only we pay attention.

        Leta

May 4--An "ah-ha" Moment

Love has nothing to do with good reasons.  --Henry James

    "May the fourth be with you." Eye-roll...

    As we move through life, we have the occasional "ah-ha" moment. One person's "ah-ha" moment can be a "duh!" to others. I had one such moment recently. One of the things I attempted to let go in our releasing ceremony in Bali was fear of aging poorly. I had a really hard time with turning 60. I suspect this is because my mother died just after turning 61. As earth rotations are zooming me toward 70, aging is more front-and-center for me, exacerbated by this lengthy sciatica recovery. 

    Back to the "ah-ha" moment... I noted that when I was in my 30s, 40s, 50s, I did not sit around pondering my demise. I just assumed that I would be around for a long time, and went upon my merry way in life. As I near 70, however, I realize that my end is much closer than it was two, three or four decades ago. However, in order to not bring doom upon myself, I need to return to operating on the assumption that I'm going to be around for a while, whatever "a while" may be. "I'm going to be here a while" is much more comforting than "my end is near." 

    What we focus on matters, and it takes constant vigilance.

        Leta

The pot of kitchen herbs 
I planted yesterday

May 3--A New Adventure

To love and be loved is the most empowering and exhilarating of all human emotions.  --Jane Goodall

    I had a new experience yesterday, a session in the Harmonic Egg. The description of this technology:

The Harmonic Egg® is a resonance chamber that uses light, color, music, and frequency to activate the body’s natural ability to balance and restore itself. The therapy is precisely controlled, consistent, and repeatable. It is non-invasive, completely natural, and safe for all ages, including babies and pregnant women.

    Before going there, I filled out a questionnaire that asks "whole person" questions about physical, emotional and spiritual health. One of the questions is "List past traumas." I answered, "I could write a book." When I was listing such in a pre-sesssion talk with Carol, the owner, so many came spilling out. Clearly I am in need of cellular-level cleansing help, so this was the perfect place to be. 

    She opened the EGG, a very large chamber with an incredibly comfortable recliner in the center. I settled in with a blanket, blue light and music for 40 minutes, followed by 10 minutes of silence. It was nap time, so of course, I fell asleep. It doesn't matter--it works awake or asleep, eyes open or closed. it just works. The goals of my first session were to relax and know what I need to do to release the sciatica issue from my body. 

    I certainly did a good job of relaxing. I don't know the answer to the second goal, but I can say that yesterday was the best day physically that I have had since this whole mess started. I actually slept in bed comfortably last night, all night long! 

    I'm signing up for a membership at Harmonic Wellness.

    Hopeful,

        Leta

From the website

May 2--Balance Must Be Restored

Because love is the meeting point between truth and magic.  --Julian Barnes

    Before this sciatica episode, I was able to stand on one leg for a full minute on each side. Now on my left side, I can't even make five seconds. I would offer this list of things not to take for granted:

• Good balance
• Sleeping comfortably in your bed
• Moving without pain
• Doing your favorite hobbies (mine: pickleball, golf, gardening, swimming, painting)
• Walking the dog
• Going out with friends
• Easily completing daily chores
• Parking far away and enjoying the extra steps
• Feeling good about your body
• Living without pain meds and sleep aids
• Soaking in a hot bath

One hour at a time,

        Leta

Our luxurious bathroom in Ubud, Bali--
a lovely tub to soak in!

May 1--Huge Help

I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.  --Vincent Van Gogh

    It did my spirit and soul great good yesterday when my dear friend and travel bud Lanie came over and helped to clean up my weed-infested garden. When she offered to help, she had no idea how big my garden is. She tackled the weeds enthusiastically nevertheless, and in less than two hours, we got most of the cleanup done. I was able to weed by sitting on my little garden stool. Lanie covered a lot more ground than I did, but it felt so good to be out there and get my hands dirty on a beautiful afternoon. Now I can look upon my lovely garden with joy rather than feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.  

    Then as a reward for our efforts, we went out for Mexican food and margaritas, woohoo!

        Leta

One of the lovely peonies currently 
showing off in my garden