Luckily, early in March, I was able to make a quick three-day trip to Colorado to see my family in Fort Collins. I truly got it in "just under the wire." It was an excellent visit, the weather was lovely, and I enjoyed my all-time favorite thing, playing golf with my sons. I am so glad I went, and as each day passes, I am even more happy that I went.
In the ensuing time, I have to say that I have been mostly bummed, even depressed. Being one who knows the value of feeling and releasing emotions, I am going to vent them here. I am sad and frustrated because our YMCAs are closed, and I can't swim. That has been a stabilizing discipline that is a huge part of my sense of well-being. Though I am a recovering addict, there's still an insane part of me that wants to eat and/or drink myself into oblivion and wake up when this is over. Doing tax work has helped by getting me out of the house and making me feel useful, but that is ending due to my boss' decision to not interact with the public for a few weeks. I'm angry that any of this has happened, and that people are dying, and that I am experiencing uncertainty such as I have never known. And things really came crashing down when all sports were cancelled or delayed. My baseball trip to Arizona is a goner for this spring. My MELT and yoga classes ended this past week, and already I am missing my students.
I know that while we may act tough through all this, each of us has an assortment of feelings, and whatever those may be, it's OK to have them and feel them. I will make it through this, life goes on, and I believe we will be wiser and more engaged and compassionate as a result. Nevertheless, right now, it sucks. Thus, I am thanking the Universe every day that we have our dog, Barney, who is oblivious to world events and simply loving life. The joy and laughter and exercise he inspires is so desperately needed at this "interesting" time.
One day at a time,
Leta
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