I'm reading the book pictured below. Holy cow! I'm about a third of the way through it. It is helping me understand myself in very interesting new ways.
"Over the years our research team has repeatedly found that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and sexual molestation." (pg. 89) I am so thankful that this book looks at both. I was not physically or sexually abused, but I certainly experienced chronic emotional abuse (brother) and neglect (Mother). I am sure my Mother would completely freak at the idea that I felt neglected, but her mother died suddenly when I was 4 or 5 years old, and things were never the same after that. She was very close to her mother, the circumstances around her mother's passing caused a huge rift in my parents' marriage, and it was "downhill" from there.
One idea discussed is the "inevitable rage of helplessness. Rage that has nowhere to go is redirected against the self, in the form of depression, self-hatred, and self-destructive actions." (pg. 136) Having an excellent cook as my mother, the conditions were perfect for me to eat myself into oblivion, leading to self-hatred and depression. This also clarifies the root of my seemingly bottomless pit of extreme anger.
More shall be revealed, and I'm warily looking forward to it!
Leta
No comments:
Post a Comment