August 31--Highs and Lows

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows. 
--Drew Barrymore

    Today completes 2/3 of 2025. It seems that the mission of this year is to teach me to flow with the highs and lows of life. I had a super high with the six-week trip to Australia, New Zealand and Bali. I returned home with the super low of excruciating pain from sciatica. That took me through life-ending consideration and left me with months of physical therapy and SLOW recovery with ongoing stamina, balance, nerve and foot issues. I have not had this great of a physical low in decades, not even with my 2020 hip replacement. The four or five miles a day that I walked on the big vacation is merely a pipe dream now. Walking with a cane to attempt to keep my gait normal has been only somewhat successful. That has exacerbated the ache in my right shoulder, now diagnosed as tendinopathy. If I followed the adage, "If it hurts, don't do it," I would never move again. 

    My son and daughter-in-law moved my grandsons even further away, from Colorado to Minnesota--a big low. But they purchased and moved into a log cabin on five acres of woods next to a river, so it is a magnificent place to thrive and raise two little boys--a big high. 

   Other highs of this year so far were the great vacation with my niece, and my son and grandsons visiting in June. I could not have made it through all this without being able to swim laps, which is great for me physically but also helps me stay sane. While I have been able to play pickleball (gently!) a few times, I miss my old routine of playing three or four times a week. 

    Another "mixed bag" this year has been a tremendous amount of personal shadow work resulting in an extraordinary release of anger via journaling, screaming, sobbing and raging.

    My painting hobby and my sweet dog Barney have truly been lifesavers. 

    So far this has been a year of both incredibly good and truly bad stuff. As of right now, I can't say that I will look back on 2025 with warm, fuzzy feelings. Yet I'm still hopeful for the last third of the year!

    One day at a time!!

        Leta

August 30--We Be Stardust

"Things We Are Made Of" by Mary Davis:

Delight. Happiness. Shining. Rays. 

Compassion. Wisdom. Radiance. Grace.

Joy. Hope. Kindness. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Songs. Harmony. Peace. One.

Silence. Power. Will. Sun.

Joy. Hope. Strength. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Eagle wings. Angel flight. 

Soaring. Dancing. Dark. Light.

Joy. Hope. God. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Light. Stars. Skies. Moons.

Galaxies. Planets. Earth. Ruins. 

Joy. Hope. Infinite love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Water. Dust. Fire. Flame.

Wind. Rock. Clouds. Rain.

Joy. Hope. Faith. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Roots. Branches. Blooms. Blades. 

Mountains. Rivers. Forests. Lakes. 

Joy. Hope. God. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

    Please do something wonderful for your magnificent Self today!

        Leta

Astronomy Picture of the Day,
June 3, 2025

August 29--The MRI Result

If it hurts, don't do it.  --Unknown

    The MRI on my shoulder fortunately revealed no rotator cuff damage, merely tendinopathy, a fancy term for tendinitis. Google offers this definition: a broad term for a range of tendon disorders, primarily caused by overuse, repetitive strain, or aging, leading to pain, stiffness, and weakness. I am being referred to an orthopedic doctor who I expect will say, "At your age, if it hurts, don't do it." 

    Having spent the past four months trying to recover my strength and stamina after three weeks of inactivity due to sciatica pain, telling me to stop moving is not going to fly. Nevertheless, I am distressed at the prospect of "just live with it." Let's hope the next doctor has something helpful to offer. 

    Stay tuned,

        Leta

August 28--The LAST Time

A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days. 
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

    When you reach senior citizen level, as I have (choke!), you start to consider "last." For example, I hope this is the "last" car I need to buy. Obviously, one never knows if that "last" will hold up. Life goes on. My late friend, "Hat," lived over 100 years. When asked his secret to longevity, he said, "I just haven't died yet."

    I am working on a major-league "last." I have cleaned our house for the last time. I am just going to let it get filthier and filthier. Just kidding! I am on a quest for a cleaning person. Given my ongoing physical recovery from back and leg issues, cleaning this week has been very tiring and left me quite sore. I do like the end result, but this is not the sort of stress I want to put my body through. I say that if I keeled over when house-cleaning, I would be pissed off for eternity! Also, because I have been cleaning houses since I was around ten years old, I'd venture that sixty years of that is more than enough.

    The search is ON!

        Leta

BRING IT ON!!!

August 27--40 Years, Really?!?!!

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.  --Benjamin Franklin

    I was returning to the house with Barney at the end of last night's walk, and actually looked at the magnificent willow oak tree in our front yard. I planted it 35 years ago, basically a twig, and now it is probably 50' tall. I'm sure when I planted it that I did not expect to be in the same house for 40 years and counting. 

    I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about our homestead. It certainly could use a LOT of updating. That would take a LOT of money. Then there is the effort of figuring out the improvements and getting them done. It is becoming too big a job for me to keep it clean, especially with the dog. (My tag line: you can have a clean house or you can have a dog, but you can't have both.) I have reduced the size of my garden over the years, but I fear that the remaining garden is becoming too much for me to care for in the way that I want. I love our court and our neighbors, so the idea of moving is depressing, not to mention the enormous amount of downsizing that would be involved. I don't know if I have the energy to move, although there is some appeal to a "shiny new place," especially a one-level home. I DO love my woman cave, my cool basement haven that is totally me. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta

My barn quilts on our backyard shed

August 26--Claustrophobic? Maybe A Little

I think I can, I think I can.  --"The Little Engine That Could" by Watty Piper

    I had an MRI yesterday morning on my right shoulder. It has been hurting for months, mostly when I am lying down (which makes sleeping a challenge). Rest, physical therapy, creams, and pain relievers have not affected it, so I finally succumbed to an MRI. The scan took about 20 minutes with three scan periods of around six minutes each. I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Being told that you cannot move does only one thing: create a desperate desire to move. I am very grateful for my yoga breathing training and meditation practice. 

    Hoping this is my last MRI in this lifetime!

        Leta

You get the idea...

August 25--More on Handling Emotions

Be kind to your beautiful self.  --Mary Davis

Psychologist Hillary McBride offers these leads to consider one's relationship with emotions:

    Growing up, the feelings I was allowed to feel were …

    I learned that it would be dangerous to feel …

    The feelings that I have learned to label as negative are …

    I am afraid that if I feel ______ (fear, sadness, joy, disgust, excitement, anger, desire), then I might …

    When I was little, I needed to learn that feelings …

    I'm guessing that the vast majority of folks in my generation were raised to suppress emotions, hence the enormous amount of addiction in our society today. 

    I had a morning of meltdown the other day. Looking back in my journal, I was feeling the same frustrations that I listed in a writing exactly one month prior. Lots of hard work with seemingly no progress piles up on me, and plenty of tears had to flow to release the angst. Because of that good soul-rinsing, I'm once again back on the upside.

    Moving on,

        Leta

Glass in Flight II, Botanica, Wichita

August 24-Still Learning to Let Go

Whenever we recognize an outsized emotional response, we can be pretty certain that we are over-identified with something or our shadow self has just been activated and exposed. If we are ultimately incapable of detaching from an emotion, we are far too attached!  --Richard Rohr

    The "wise woman" in Bali who aggravated me so much told me that I make a big deal out of everything, which, of course, irritated me even more. Wasn't she "right on"!??! The truth may set us free, but it may piss us off first. 

    Making a big deal out of everything is being too attached to emotions. In my case, that is typically anger, and I really like to think of it as self-righteous, which only makes me cling harder. I've had a recent experience where something I consider a huge personal slight by a person close to me has been living in luxury in my head rent-free. Several of my daily readings this week have been about healthy emotional release and our tendency to overly attach to emotions (hence the above quote). At last I woke up to the facts that my irritation was only hurting me, that the situation irritating me is unchangeable, and that the other person's behavior is really no surprise. I can just relax, deal with it in a creative manner, and let the angst go.

    Making plans from a center of peace rather than "I'll show you!" feels much better. 

        Leta

August 23--I Sometimes Forget...

We always need little reminders that it's gonna be all good.  --Andy Grammer

    This is the Note from the Universe by Mike Dooley from August 21:

The Top 10 things about time and space that are easiest to forget…

1. You chose to be here and you knew what you were doing.
2. There are no “tests” and you’re not being judged.
3. Everyone’s doing their best with what they know.
4. You already have whatever you’re looking for.
5. You are of the Divine, pure God, and so is everyone else.
6. Religion needs spirituality; spirituality does not need religion.
7. You’re naturally inclined to succeed—at everything you do.
8. You happen to life, life does not happen to you.
9. Order, healing, and love belie every moment of chaos, pain, and fear.
10. Following your heart is the best way to help others. 

The truth shall set you free,
The Universe

    That pretty much covers it!

        Leta

Creativity heaven--blank canvas & a cup of paint!

August 22--"Mind Your Mind"

Since everything that is began as a thought, it is a worthy endeavor to pay attention to our thoughts.  --Leta Miller

The Center for Action and Contemplation publishes a Daily Meditation that is one of my go-to spiritual readings each day. My favorite contributor to that is Brian McLaren, and these are his words from the August 20 Meditation:

When you learn to mind your mind, you begin by allowing your thoughts and feelings to shout or cry, to throw a tantrum and have a meltdown. It’s fruitless and ultimately quite harmful to perpetually beat down those feelings. So for some period of time, you let your inner committees express their distress and negotiate, firing up the subway for a frantic rush hour.

And then, at some point, you have to get off the train and exit the subway station and find a quiet place. Perhaps you’ll meet with a circle of trust, processing with some friends what you’re struggling with. Perhaps you’ll find some solitude to practice private contemplation.

One of the most time-tested approaches to private contemplation could be called the focus/release method…. I might focus on a single, simple word. I might focus on a phrase or mantra…. Sometimes, when simple breath, heartbeat, words or phrases aren’t working, I might listen to music, dance, cook, or simply walk mindfully and focus on what I see around me…. I may go running, practice yoga, or play a game, so I have to shift my focus from inner turmoil to physical endurance and prowess.

Contemplation liberates me from being a perpetual prisoner of my trains of thoughts and feelings; it helps me realize that I am not my thoughts and feelings. It helps me see that these inner reactions and negotiations happen to me and within me without my consent, like digestion, like sleep, like fatigue or laughter.

In the stillness, new insights, comfort, and ways of being often arise. If stepping off the train is letting go, and if dwelling in the stillness is letting be, receiving these gifts is letting come. When these new gifts come, I experience a kind of liberation, a setting free. All of my best creative work seems to flow from this deep place of restful, receptive awareness beneath my mental subway system….

What we experience in the letting-come phase some people describe as intuition. Many would call it the gentle voice of God speaking within them. Seasoned contemplatives like Thomas Merton describe letting go, letting be, letting come, and setting free as discovering the true self. Others call it becoming the best self. I tend to think of it as becoming the integrated, unitive, or connected self….

This connected self seeks to bring together smaller competing parts into larger harmonious wholes. It seeks to integrate the known and the unknown. It wants to help the parts of me to live intentionally in relation to each other and to the reality outside of me. It seeks harmony and interdependence among parts, not domination, manipulation, exclusion, and oppression. It holds the both/and of part and whole.

    Maintaining sanity in our crazy world is not easy. Contemplation helps. 

        Leta

Mother Nature's beauty in New Zealand

August 21-Painting Success!

My house is me and I am it and it looks like all my dreams. 
--Daniel Pinkwater, "The Big Orange Splot"

    I have completed the biggest-for-me-so-far painting. I am extremely pleased with it because it actually turned out as I had envisioned it prior to beginning. On most of my previous works, I just started painting and eventually a painting came out on the other end. This one had a mission. It is a gift for my niece and it includes many things that she and I enjoy together: sunshine, beach, water, dolphins, "moonshine." Because I love sparkle, there is glitter on the painting, which I think most "serious" artists would poo-poo. There is also real sand on it. 

    The quote above is from a fabulous children's book about expressing one's unique self. I read it often to my sons when they were little. Both sons have turned out to be incredibly creative, which makes my heart sing. I sent a photo of my painting to my younger son, a fabulous artist himself, and he responded, "wildly impressed... pls don't stop." That's about the highest praise I could get. 

    I won't stop. I learned a LOT with this one and I'm excited to start another. 

        Leta

Part of the painting...
hopefully you see a dolphin!!

August 20--Appreciating Emotions

Emotions are, first of all, a gift from God so that we can touch reality by a way other than our brain.  --Richard Rohr

Here is a bit more on emotions from Father Richard:

When it comes to honoring our emotions, we have to say both a strong “yes” and a strong “no.” We must begin with “yes” because so many of us were trained, by family and religion, to not feel our feelings. They thought they were doing us a favor, because they didn’t want emotions to rule our life. Unfortunately, that gave a moral connotation to even having feelings, not just the “negative” ones like anger, resentment, or fear, but the positive ones too, like pleasure, happiness, and even desire. The overt or subliminal messaging “That’s wrong. That’s bad” stunted our capacity to appreciate, and to suffer or to allow the full meaning of reality. Emotions are, first of all, a gift from God so that we can touch reality by a way other than our brain.   

 

    I was definitely trained as Father Richard describes. There was a huge amount of emotion swirling around my upbringing, stuffed down by various forms of substance abuse. It has taken decades in addiction recovery for me to learn to recognize and express my emotions. 

    I am so grateful to find painting as a way to express myself. Before going to Bali earlier this year, we were told to bring something to leave on a temple altar as a means of release. I did an intentionally ugly little painting representing all those things I wanted to release. Oh, boy, that set off a horrific chain of events that I am still recovering from. However, having survived, I am thankful for the end result--restored relationships and freedom from huge amounts of anger and resentment.  

    The big painting is complete--stay tuned!

        Leta

August 19--Frustration ==> Learning

Instead of seeing frustration as a hindrance, it’s time to recognize it for what it is: a sign that you’re acquiring a new skill. The more we understand that the frustration and struggle is actually a sign we’re learning, not a sign we’re doing something wrong, it becomes a lot easier to tolerate.  --Dr. Becky Kennedy

    You can click on her name to read the article via Upworthy.com. 

    This idea is acting itself out via the current large painting project lying near me on the table. There have been several instances of painting-over-that because I was frustrated with how it turned out. My first go-to is "well, I failed at that," but in all instances, the unsatisfactory result led me to learn something else. There has definitely been more frustration with this painting than any other I've done, but I have also learned more. 

    I consider myself to be wretched at drawing. However, one of the tricks I learned with this painting is to draw what I want to paint with chalk. It's easy to clean off and redo, and one can paint right over it. I used this to draw a prominent feature of this painting, which enabled me to successfully paint the item on my first try. 

    Seeing frustration as a sign of learning relieves a lot of angst.

        Leta

Mural, Christchurch, New Zealand

August 18--In Whatever Small Way

Contribute to peace in the world by asking to be a worthy custodian of your spiritual gifts. In the small moments of today, be grateful for the gift of life. Turn your head to notice the sacred in the small and holy in simple things. Be joyful and useful. Love your neighbor. Be compassionate. Bring kindness and peace to the part of the world that is within your reach. Offer up your day to be used for love.  --Mary Davis

    I think I volunteered to lead tonight's 12-Step meeting. This quote inspires the topic of what spiritual gifts I have received via 12-Step recovery. I shall thus "kill two birds with one stone" (wretched analogy) by developing my meeting topic via a blog post. 

    The first spiritual gift that comes to mind is understanding that I always have a choice. That may be only good attitude vs. bad, but I have a choice. Another gift is the knowing that I am never alone--there are other addicts like me plus a Higher Power (HP) and infinite resources to guide and guard me. One of the "Promises" of the 12-Step program is "We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us." I learned early on that substance abuse was the way to handle life's challenges. The 12 Steps have given me a successful way to live and handle ANY challenge without using. Another spiritual gift is the willingness to spend time in prayer and meditation to nurture my relationship with HP. I have learned the necessity and value of forgiveness, both for myself and others. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude serves me best. Possibly the biggest gift is the relief in knowing that I am infinitely loved, no matter what, even when I forget that I am infinitely loved. 

    All these gifts--who wouldn't want to spread them around!??!

        Leta

Barney--the gift of love in doggie form 😂

August 17--We Are Creators

This is Mike Dooley's Note from the Universe of August 15:

Don’t worry about your “negative” thoughts. They’re par for the course in the jungles of time and space. Change them when you can, but when they overrun you, let them run.

Because no matter how persistent they are, you can always spend just 5 minutes a day in a quiet place, doing your best to imagine your dreams as if they’ve already come true, seeing yourself happy, laughing, and smiling from ear to ear. This will be enough, it’s always enough, even if while you’re imagining, the negative thoughts creep in. After 5 minutes, leave it alone.

You’re in time and space for one reason: to thrive. There’s no 50/50 about it. You are OF the Creator, BY the Creator, and now a Creator yourself, alive on a stage YOU designed for your own adventures. You were not an afterthought, and you didn’t design it to simply eek by.

All the elements are beholden to you; you summoned them, you dreamed them into place, and now they conspire endlessly in your favor. “On a dime” your life can improve for the better with the slightest effort on your part, no matter how insurmountable the odds, nor how futile your thoughts and deeds may seem.

You are “the prodigal child.” In a heartbeat, you’re welcomed back into the fold. In an instant, you can be carried along by life’s current once you stop struggling against it.

And for these reasons and many more, it’s as if your positive thoughts are 10,000 times more powerful than your negative thoughts; 10,000 times more in alignment with the magnificent tidal wave of energy that you are; 10,000 times more likely to become the things you want than the things you don’t want.

Coolness -
The Universe

Temple grounds in Bali

August 16--This Day Will Zoom By

As the day unfolds, be flexible and present, knowing that all experiences, even waiting in line, are precious opportunities to share joy, compassion and kindness. 
--Mary Davis

    Breaking news... time is flying by! Oh, but wait, you knew that. 

    The Cubs have played 111 games, so over 2/3 of the baseball season is past. Football season has started. Schools are beginning to fill for the fall, signaling the end of summer. We are only about four months from Christmas. AND my older grandson turns three today. Hence the quote reminds us to pay attention to this day, certainly a precious one in each of our lives. 

    Spread some kindness today.

        Leta

Players' weekend shows off the individual
player's personality--McCutcheon has
a pencil-painted bat.

August 15--Maybe I Can (?!)

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.  --Brian Tracy

    Continuing a bit on yesterday's angst about painting... I was sitting in front of the canvas wondering what to do next, anxious about being able to "pull it off," whatever "it" is at the moment. I was gifted with this: how do I know I can't do "it," if I've never tried? At least give myself a fighting chance. So I made puddles of various shades of blue and painted ocean waves, and I'm pleased with the result. At which point my Inner Self said, "See, I told you so." 😉😉

    Bravery--big and small--go for it!!

        Leta

Mother Nature is the 
Ultimate Artist!!

August 14--Painting is FUN!!

The greatest enemy of ordinary daily goodness and joy is not imperfection, but the demand for some supposed perfection or order.  --Richard Rohr

    I'm working on a large (24"x36") painting. I am most comfortable painting straight lines and using copious amounts of Green Frog Tape. This is my most recently completed work:

    The new painting is quite "outside my box." I've watched a bunch of "how to paint" videos, and I am learning a lot. I am, nevertheless, still very anxious. I'm not Van Gogh, and I have no such aspirations, but some part of me thinks I should be. Some of my angst probably relates to the fact that this painting is intended to be a gift. It is personally representative of the things that the recipient and I enjoy together. I want it to be meaningful to the two of us, and nothing else really matters. 

    So I remind myself... painting is FUN, otherwise, why bother!?!?

        Leta

August 13--Still Learning After All These Years

It is a test of a good religion whether you can make a joke about it. 
--G. K. Chesterton

    Having cruised, stumbled, and plodded through several religions, and having worked at a church for six years, I can tell you that there is a very wide range of ability and willingness to laugh about religion. Isn't that why family gatherings are discouraged from discussing religion or politics!?! 

    I was out with a group of friends on Monday night. With about a dozen of us chattering away, a woman came over to our table, suspecting that we are a fun-loving, active bunch, and told us of the Granny Basketball League, Inc. Her team is the "Wichita Sugar & Spice." Who knew!!?!?! The website's tagline is "A Gentle Game for Women of a Certain Age." While I love watching basketball, I have no desire to play it, but I say, "YOU GO, GIRLFRIENDS!!" Kudos for staying active even at a "certain age"!!

        Leta

August 12--Love and Grief Coexist

If it doesn't feed your soul, have the strength to let it go.  --Mary Davis

    Today is the 86th birthday of my dear brother Arlie, the second since his passing in 2024. No day goes by without thoughts of him. Oddly enough, my least favorite store on the planet, WalMart, always reminds me of Arlie--that was his most beloved shopping experience. 

    I miss you, my sweet loving brother!

        Leta

Arlie's final trip to WalMart

August 11--Yippee!! Monday!!

When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.  --Ella Woodward

    Monday tends to get a bad rap, so let's give it some love. This is from "Every Day Spirit" by Mary Davis:

• Today is not a race, it is a gift. It is not to be rushed or hurried through, but to be savored and treasured. 
• Today is not a chore, it is a chance. It is not to be turned away at the door, but to be offered generous hospitality as an honored guest. 
• Today is not a duty, is is an honor. It is not an obligation that must be fulfilled, but an opportunity to rise into our highest selves. 
• Today is not a struggle, it is a choice. It is not to be wrestled to the ground and conquered, but loved and cherished and polished into beauty. 
• Today is not a cloud, it is a light. It is not to be traveled through blindly as a victim, but to be illuminated by the sun of our strength. 
• Today is not a solo, it is a chorus.  It is not to be sung alone but to be orchestrated by a choir of angels and backed by a symphony of all those who love us. 

    Enjoy the gift of this beautiful Monday!

        Leta

Blue jay, Sarachek Woodland
Bird Garden, Botanica

August 10--Let's Touch 'em All!

On the road again, I just can't wait to get on the road again.  --Willie Nelson

    It's all yours, Willie! Yesterday we made the trip home from northern Minnesota in one day, a grueling 800-mile trip that took us 14 hours. Yes, we slept in this morning, and despite the weariness, we are very happy to be home. 

    This trip generated a mighty fine assortment of emotions in me:  

    Happiness... I'm so pleased for the son and family landing in their dream home, with an infinite number of projects to entertain, delight and learn from. Examples are raising chickens and creating a working greenhouse. 

    Envy... Their new home was my dream when I was their age, but I don't have the energy at this age to take on all those projects!

    Sadness... that they have moved even further away; that our sons are no longer in the same area. This trip made me really miss our other son still living in Colorado. 

    Frustration... due to my sciatica recovery, I was not able to be as helpful as I would have liked. I was mainly the runner for food and the baby-wrestler. 

    Disappointment... the visit was completely consumed by the move to the new homestead, so we didn't even get to stick our toes in Lake Superior. More fun to come on future visits.

    Gratitude... we were able to be there and be big helpers in the move. 

    Excitement... for future trips when we get to see the amazing ways they make this new homestead uniquely theirs. I'm especially thrilled that our grandsons are now in such a RICH learning environment--acres of woods, a river, a huge garden, and a studio/workshop/greenhouse combo to create in. 

    (Great) Grandpa Snapper (my dad), sawmill owner and builder of his own log cabin, is smiling big-time in eternity!!!

        Leta

The MN log-cabin homestead

August 9--Fear Not

Fear comes from a need to control, and we are not in control anyway. 
--Richard Rohr

    I could pontificate on this one, but I see no need. It is clearly a useful reminder for me. 

        Leta

Botanica, Wichita

August 8--Northern MN?

Up nord, hey.  --The MinnesOta accent

    During my early twenties, I spent two years living in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area getting an MBA at the UofM. After two LONG winters in MN, then four more LONG winters in WI, I moved hundreds of miles south to Wichita, vowing to generally avoid the frozen north.

    So my son and d-i-l move my two grandsons where? Not just to MN, but to northern MN, even north of Duluth, near the shores of Lake Superior. They have just moved into a fabulous property on 5+ acres in the woods along a river. Northern MN is quite beautiful, reminding me of Pennsylvania in many ways. 

    It would be my guess that snow starts falling here in October, and if they are lucky, it ends sometime in April. If I travel during that time, I'll likely head further south rather than north. 

    Not that fond of snow,

        Leta

Last night's moon 
over Lake Superior

August 7--All Over Everywhere

I think, therefore I am crazy.  --Descartes and Miller

    I'm thinking right now that I wish I had an "OFF" button for my thoughts. I know that is the point of meditation, but that "button" rarely turns off my incessant thoughts. I'm in a situation now where I have very little control over any of the happenings of the day, "along for the ride," you might say, and that makes my control-freak mind go nuts.  

    That's all the thoughts I can organize for today. 

        Leta

Glass in Flight 2, Botanica, praying mantis

August 6--It Can Be Remarkable

When you lose a parent, you realize how vital they are to the foundation of your life. It's impossible to understand what it means until that curtain is pulled. You're an orphan. But then I think that life is kind of remarkable, and the thing that causes the biggest pain can also bring amazing energy.  --Neneh Cherry

    I am an orphan. I am totally onboard with the statement "It's impossible to understand what it means until that curtain is pulled." My spouses' parents are both alive and mostly well at 95. He has not had that "curtain pulled." 

    "Lose" does not necessarily mean death. I lost my dad to dementia before he actually passed, and there were several years wherein he did not know who I was. In some ways, that was worse than death. 

    The "amazing energy" part is also something I can speak to. My mom passed just before I turned 24, cutting me loose from a contentious relationship. My life would have been 100% different had my mother lived longer. I would not necessarily have had a bad life, but the life I have lived has had "amazing energy" and I would call it "remarkable."  

    One discovers one's own resources when the parents are no longer there to lean on. 

        Leta

Note the weirdness... my parents both died
on September 24.

August 5--Easy Does It

Give yourself permission to be less than perfect. Your precious and messy enough-ness is what makes you uniquely you.  --Mary Davis

    I have limited internet and cell phone service for a while, so posts will be rather short. 

    I've been presented lately in several of my regular daily readings with the topic of perfectionism. Coincidence? I think not. Perfectionism was ingrained in me from an early age, so practicing acceptance of my imperfection is a lifelong effort. It is interesting to me that some of my imperfections are more OK than others. For example, my physical imperfection (SLOW recovery from sciatica) is totally annoying, but my complete lack of fashion sense doesn't even phase me. 

    I'm thinking that it wouldn't be a bad idea for us all to lighten up, especially toward ourselves. 

        Leta

at Knife River

August 4--To Test Your Sense of Humor

I think the scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. 
--Michael J. Fox

    My husband was playing youtube music on our drive yesterday and a song came on by Hayes Carll titled "She Left Me for Jesus." Here are the lyrics. I invite you to check it out and listen to the song. It's a hoot!!

We've been datin' since high school
We never once left this town
We used to go out on the weekends
And we'd drink till we drowned
But now she's actin' funny
And I don't understand
I think that she's found her
Some other man

She left me for Jesus
And that just ain't fair
She says, that he's perfect.
How could I compare
She says, I should find him
And I'll know peace at last
But if I ever find Jesus
I'm kickin' his ass

She showed me a picture
All I could do was stare
At that freak in his sandals
With his long purty hair
They must think that I'm stupid
Or I don't have a clue
I bet he's a Commie
Or even worse yet a Jew

She left me for Jesus
And that just ain't fair
She says, that he's perfect.
How could I compare
She says, I should find him
And I'll know peace at last
But if I ever find Jesus
I'm kickin' his ass

She's givin' up whiskey
And taken up wine
Why, she prays for his troubles
And has forgot about mine
I'm a gonna get even
I can't handle the shame
Why the last time we made love
She even called out his name

She left me for Jesus
And that just ain't fair
She says, that he's perfect.
How could I compare
She says, I should find him
And I'll know peace at last
But if I ever find Jesus
I'm kickin' his ass

It could have been Carlos
Or even Billy or Ted
But if I ever find Jesus
He's gonna wish he were dead
Ahhh, man

 

    I'll bet Jesus got a laugh outta this!!

        Leta

From Google Images

August 3--Where Are We Headed?

This is by Maria Shriver, coming to you via the August 2 Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation:

Everywhere I seem to look these days, I see people suffering from pain and heartbreak. Struggle and loneliness. I sense a yearning for something different, something more spiritual. What is often feels fragile and uncertain, and everything we thought we knew about ourselves and the world seems to change by the day. We are told these are unprecedented times, but I think this is simply life.

In this time of constant change and constant noise, each of us has an opportunity for introspection, an awakening, and a more fulfilling life. All of the old rules are gone, which means it’s a good time for each and every one of us to dig deep and ask ourselves why am I here, what is my purpose, who do I want to become, how do I want to leave a mark on this world, and do I have the courage to examine and possibly alter old beliefs that may be keeping me stuck in a life I’m not meant to be in?

Life offers a full range of experiences and emotions to each of us. No one escapes the forces and events we are sure will break us. But understanding that those same events are as much a part of one’s life as achieving our dreams—getting that perfect job, falling in love, having a baby—is a valuable life lesson. Having a full, meaningful life means embracing the whole of life—the perceived bad as well as the perceived good.

    Shriver offers some mighty worthwhile questions!

        Leta

From a lovely night in
Ocean City, MD

August 2--Grammie Gets a Tattoo

Find out who you are and do it on purpose.  --Dolly Parton

    When our sons were in college, back when tattoos were really becoming "the in thing," they wanted to get one. We said fine, but you have to pay for it. That ended their tattoo quest. 

    For my 58th birthday, I gave myself a small tattoo of a red infinity symbol on my left arm close to my wrist. I wanted to see what it was like to get one. The symbol was perfect--red is my favorite color, I'm a math nerd, I'm an infinite spiritual being, and I love Buzz Lightyear ("To infinity and beyond!!!"). So Mom was the first in the family to get a tat. 

    Over the years I've considered another tattoo, certain that I would know when what I wanted would present itself to me. On my big trip earlier this year, I saw a woman with various seashells tattooed along her upper spine--simple and gorgeous. Then came the highlight of the Bali stay--releasing two baby turtles into the sea. (See March 23 post.) As I set the little ones off, I blessed them and named them after my grandsons. 

    So here you have it:

While it is tough to see, there is an "L" on the left one and an "R" on the right one. Those are my grandsons initials, and (NOT) coincidentally, my initials (Leta Renee). 

    Geez. Why would a nearly 70-year-old Grammie get a tat? Because I want to!!!

        Leta

August 1--Light + Shadow = Whole

I have never felt that human wholeness had anything to do with perfection. Wholeness has to do with embracing the whole of who you are, which includes your shadow as well as your light. It includes the broken parts of you as well as the whole parts of you. --Parker Palmer

     This one is likely going to be a rambler. 

     I'm a little frustrated these days with some apparent broken parts. Strength and balance on my left side are progressing too slowly for me. I still feel like I am waddling when I walk. My right shoulder/arm ache has not improved despite physical therapy. I can tell you now the move that really makes my arm scream--an overhead shot at pickleball. I do have an MRI scheduled for later this month. Embracing the whole of my body is an ongoing practice. 

    I have started to put paint on the new (giant 24"x36") canvas. I am extremely anxious. One would think I am painting this for the Louvre, instead of for my niece's bedroom. I have spent hours in the past few days watching "easy for beginners" painting videos. I'm wondering what the level is below "beginners"? I have learned a few good tips but have mostly confused and scared myself. Embracing the whole of my limited talent is an ongoing practice. 

    Practice makes better,

        Leta    

A peaceful spot at Botanica, Wichita