Thursday, November 1, 2018

Why Do I Write? My Ongoing Debate...

     I have published two books. While many folks say they have a book in them, that's mostly where it stays. I have actually gone through the "whole nine yards" of bringing two books into form. I should feel proud of these efforts and creations, and I do. I'm good with the idea of expressing my own unique voice--that I'm not saying anything new, but saying it in a way that only I can.
     I believe that what I write is a download from Spirit. Writing is a powerful spiritual practice for me. The first book I wrote was a surprise. I just decided to start writing on a nearly daily basis, and it developed into a book. The second book was intended to be a book from the very start, with very explicit directions from Spirit relative to the format, title and contents. I was even inspired to include my own artwork in it, which was completely "outside the box" for me.
     I am once again being nudged to write another book. This has been going on for some time, and I have a good idea for the theme, and even a start of an outline. Unlike the two previous books, this one would require LOTS of time and research, potentially even a "coffee table" book with color photos, an extremely expensive proposition.
     I self-published the two previous works, the first with PublishAmerica (now America Star) and the second with Amazon's CreateSpace. The world of publishing is beyond my comprehension. I have no interest in the effort and rejection inevitability of having a "publisher." Possibly that's my personal author defeat right there. 
     I lost money on the first book, and I would not recommend America Star to anyone. I've broken even on the second book, and I loved the CreateSpace process. These money statements do not count my writing time--only a NY Times bestseller could compensate me reasonably for that. However, as I said, I enjoyed the actual writing tremendously as a wide-open powerful connection with Spirit.
     In neither case did I write the book for money. I was spiritually motivated. However, it is so discouraging, ultimately, to put in so much effort and get so little return. Do I want to invest way more time into a way more pricey effort?
     I don't know if I can stand the disappointment of another mediocre showing. I'm not good or much interested in energetic promotion. Given past history, I don't know if I'm mentally strong enough to make a third book financially successful. I would also suggest that there's probably some limit to how many books a friend or relative will buy, just because they know the author.
     I don't write this blog for the money. It's just plain fun, and it doesn't take up a lot of time.
     To be clear, I am not afraid of putting myself "out there." I guess I don't get noticed enough to be criticized!
     I know I can create the time to write another book, should I decide I want to do it. I wrote most of the second book while immersed in a more than full-time job during tax season. It's also useful to remember that I could simply start with some "baby steps" and see where it goes.
     I suspect this debate is simply part of the process of testing my commitment and guiding me to ever greater good in my future. I do have faith in that. I also know that ultimately it does not matter one way or another whether I write a third book.
     So for now, the debate continues.

No comments:

Post a Comment