Every once in a while I run across a sentence or phrase that rocks my world, gives me a whole new perspective on something.
This is the latest such sentence from the pen of Bob Luckin: Being angry makes frightened people feel safer.
Whoa, knock my socks off! I have avoided anger like the plague in my life. I've taken it very personally. I shy away from conflict. It scares me.
But this is a whole new perspective, and it makes so much sense to me now. Anger is an indicator of fear, and it's an attempt to feel safer in a scary situation. Of course, it's not about me.
It's another example of the idea put forth by Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements, The Voice of Knowledge): our emotions are completely valid, ALWAYS. The emotion is not the problem, it's an EFFECT, not a cause. When we look past the emotion, in this case to see past the anger to the fear, we can address the fear, which is most likely not a real threat. Taking away the fear eliminates any need for anger.
If this gives you a new perspective on anger, I'd love to hear about it.