I hit a "control bottom" in December. An attempt to exert influence, which I realized afterwards, didn't go well. Not the first time, alas. But hopefully one of the last. It was a good learning experience, in that I have no desire to control much of anything now. Nor do I have the ability. My "illusion of control" has been shattered, and for that, I am most grateful.
Now I get to enjoy the freedom, though sometimes a bit scary, of taking life, other people, and circumstances as they come. Things happen, I experience them, and let them go. It's a free way to live that I'm just starting to learn. I've been a controlling person for so long, this is a huge change. But being a controller is the direct opposite of living with an open heart, and I am committed to keeping my heart open and love flowing. I'm excited for this ongoing adventure.