Assumptions breed suffering but curiosity breeds compassion. --David Ault
I know for certain that I make a lot of assumptions. It is easy to do and challenging to stop the practice. The propensity to make assumptions and the destruction caused by it are blatantly evident in our political landscape today. I have no ability to stop the blowhards from spouting false assumptions, but I can work on the practice in my personal relationships. I am well aware that the effects of my upbringing lead me to assumptions that can be "way out in left field." There have been times when I have expressed an assumption to my spouse, and he looks at me like a Martian has just materialized in front of him.
The phrase "There, but for the grace of God, go I" bubbled up to me. This gives the speaker a comforting sense of God's favor while recognizing that God has screwed the person being scrutinized. What an exceedingly rude assumption!
A spiritual teacher many years ago offered this wise practice when faced with something that might incite assumption-making: just say internally "Isn't that interesting!" and move on. That three word phrase leads to curiosity, and cuts off the tendency to make a story filled with assumptions.
One of "The Four Agreements" (book by Don Miguel Ruiz) is "don't make assumptions." The book is subtitled "A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom." That's a pretty powerful reward for stopping the assumption practice.
More curiosity, fewer assumptions!
Leta
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| The Curiosity Cycle from Psychology Today |
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