I am using this time of healing from sciatica to do as much spiritual cleanup as possible. Over the past week, I wrote a 4th Step inventory. The character defects that surfaced have been very evident in my head for quite some time, and I attempted to leave them in the releasing exercise we did in Bali. Alas, they came home with me, and I had to open my heart and spill them out in a 5th Step ("Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs").
See the March 31 post about the "wise woman" I saw in Bali. Three key things she said to me were "You have to figure it out for yourself... You have to create your own happiness... You make a big deal out of everything." This last one really hit home as I was overlooking the inventory and realized that my big central issue is taking everything personally. [See "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz: #2 Don't Take Anything Personally.] My head is involved in way more stuff than it ought to be; my heart only wants freedom for my spirit and body.
Slowly learning,
Leta
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