"Stop looking for happiness in other people. Our source of happiness and well-being is not inside others; it's inside us." Melody Beattie, Codependent No More
I'm re-reading Codependent No More. I think I should keep on re-reading it for the rest of my life. Not only do I continue to recognize more codependent behaviors in myself, but I also see that many of the issues experienced by friends and clients are rooted in codependency. This book offers good practices for modifying behavior to keep us focused on ourselves and our own lives, and staying out of others' lives.
It's a prescription for disaster to let one's happiness depend on other people, their behavior, or any other outer circumstance, acquisition or event. If we aren't happy with ourselves, we'll never be happy, because we are always with ourselves--as Rev. Michael Beckwith says, we can't divorce ourselves.
Where do we start? First of all, think of one thing you enjoy doing, make plans as needed to do it, and DO IT! Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Enjoyment breeds more enjoyment.