December 31--2025 in Review (Part 3)

The moment of surrender is not when life is over. It’s when it begins.
--Marianne Williamson
God is a presence that protects us from nothing, even as God unexplainably sustains us in all things. --James Finley

    Part 3 is about healing. I'll say right up front that I am still mystified by it all, and it most certainly did not happen in the way I had "planned." Ultimately that's a good thing!
    One of our Bali adventures in March was a temple visit where we were encouraged to leave a small object on the altar as a releasing action. I elected to do a small painting (6" square) representing those things I wanted to jettison. See below--it is ugly on purpose! The things I painted into it to release were: grief, expectations, disappointment, sense of separation from Spirit (root of all the others), fear of aging poorly, and family angst. I laid the painting on the altar, brushed off my hands, said "Thank you, Spirit!" and that was that. Now I suspect that Spirit was chuckling and saying, "Spiritual surgery ahead!!" 

    The bout with sciatica and recovery drug me through the "mud and slop" of all those things I chose to release. It also brought home the painful, mysterious and "Thank God!" nature of the Finley quote above. 

    This year included several most excellent conversations with each of my sons. These provided clarification, understanding, forgiveness, and a more comfortable relationship with them as adults. 

    For my physical recovery this year, I am thankful for the doctors, chiropractor and physical therapists who cared for me so lovingly and patiently. I did, and continue to do, my home exercises nearly every day. Those include the Melt Method techniques I used to teach--I could not have made it through this year without daily Melting.

    I also thank my sweet angel dog, Barney, literally my lifesaver. 

    Long about November sometime, the "moment of surrender" happened for me. I finally accepted that I do not have the body I had before the "BIG trip of a lifetime," that this body is as "fixed" as it is going to get for now, and I'm fine moving forward with that. The workings of surrender continue to mystify me.

    I end this year feeling huge gratitude for my husband. He has been so supportive through my recovery. He even drove me to and from the YMCA to swim when I had so much difficulty walking. We passed our 39th anniversary and have been in our home for forty years. It is a “project-rich environment” that he tackles with enthusiasm. He brings me coffee in bed every morning while I’m writing and cooks us two wonderful, healthy meals nearly every day.
    My intentions for 2026 continue to be 1) to stay healthy and active, and 2) to encourage and allow myself to be a happy human. After the medically-intense year of 2025, I hope to see no medical folks other than my chiropractor for all of 2026!    

    I'm quite OK with letting 2025 go!

        Leta

Who knew what a catalyst this would be!?!?

December 30--2025 in Review (Part 2)

Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be. 
--Abraham Lincoln

    Today’s post includes the good things from this year, and there were so many.
    For six weeks, friend and travel bud Lanie and I enjoyed Australia, New Zealand and Bali. It truly was the “trip of a lifetime.” We had a blast, saw so much, met so many great folks. Even with being together so intensely for six weeks, we still like each other and travel together, though we have decided on a limit of two weeks maximum for any future trips! (If you’d like to see/read the highlights of that trip, see the 2025 blog posts from Feb 24 through April 3.)
    Other 2025 travels included two trips to Ohio to hang with my niece. One included our annual week at the beach in Ocean City, Maryland; the other was over Thanksgiving which we celebrated with most of my brother Arlie’s family. We visited our younger son in Colorado and found a great Airbnb apartment which we hope to reserve on future visits.
    Our older son and two grandsons came to Wichita in June. This son had not been home since 2017, so it was quite a treat. We did fun stuff with them, like the Zoo, and we were able to babysit several times while our son visited friends or played golf. My son and I had a couple of excellent conversations that cleared our relationship of some ongoing angst.
    The positive side of the move to Minnesota is that our son and d-i-l bought a log cabin on five wooded acres with a river running next to it. It is one of the finest places that two boys could be raised. My son is loving his role as stay-at-home dad. He is already into a multitude of projects and home improvements. I am super-grateful for video chats that enable us to stay in touch. (I lived in MN for two years during grad school, and I have no desire to return there from November to March!) We did enjoy two visits there in August and October. It is a beautiful area, with Lake Superior stealing the show.
    Being the sports nut that I am, it was exciting for my favorite NBA team, the Oklahoma City Thunder, to win the NBA championship. The Cubs made the playoffs for the first time in several years, extending my beloved baseball season into October.
    Speaking of October, I turned 70 and celebrated with a great party at a local bar. Turning 60 was difficult for me, but 70… I’m just glad to be here still! I have outlived both my mother and my Grammie, so 70 is a big milestone for me.
    Two things have kept me (relatively) sane during these many months of treatment and recovery–swimming and painting. I was able to swim when I could do little else, so I felt like I was able to accomplish something. I reached my goal of 100 miles for the 28th year in a row, even though I had two months of no swimming. Painting is a spiritual practice for me–tapping into the Creative Mind. My two favorites for the year are the painting I did for my niece’s spare bedroom (where I sleep when I visit her) and the painting of Barney I did for my husband for Christmas. I am enjoying thinking of myself as an artist!

             

    Finally, I achieved my goal of getting back to pickleball. I’m not at 100%, stamina being the lingering issue, but I can play several times a week. Back in April that seemed like it would never happen.

    Tomorrow, thoughts on healing.

        Leta

December 29--2025 in Review (Part 1)

I let go of old ideas and thoughts of limitation. I release my need to control people, places and things. And in letting go, I am free. --Michael Gott

    2025 has been such a strange, exciting, depressing, tedious, healing, creative and fun year. I have decided to break up my year-in-review posts over three days to give this interesting year its due. Part 1 includes the downers of the year. Part 2 includes the uppers of the year. Part 3 considers the massive amounts of healing that occurred through it all. Here goes, Part 1...

    Holy cow! What a year this has been. The highs were higher and the lows were lower than ever before. Even though the lows were huge, there were more highs than lows. 

    I returned in early April from the “BIG trip of a lifetime” with an incredibly-painful case of sciatica, which ultimately wrecked my left leg, ankle and foot and balance. Golf was completely out of the picture for the year, and returning to pickleball became my recovery goal. I believe I had more doctor visits in 2025 than I had had in total the past ten years. I spent most of the rest of the year in twice-weekly physical therapy to restore my strength and balance. I spent a very painful week alone in April when my husband was helping our son’s family move, and our dog Barney was my lifesaver, snuggling me when I could do nothing but cry due to pain. I became acutely aware of the loneliness caused by extreme pain. I attribute much of my healing to the crying, screaming and cursing I did at Spirit, and the pages and pages of writing (much with my non-dominant hand) to vent my frustrations. Ultimately I was able to recover without surgery. I am thankful for that, but I also know that I will always carry a fear of extreme pain returning.
    The other big bummer of the year (there are good points coming in Part 2!) was the move of my grandsons and their parents from Colorado to Two Rivers, Minnesota. This puts them 800 miles away instead of 600, and for the first time our sons live in different places. It is a much more complicated process to visit Minnesota than it was for Colorado visits. For example, lodging is a considerably bigger challenge. It is also a 2-day trip with extra hotel expense, or a very grueling one-day trip.

    These bummers in my life remind me I don't have control over people, places and things, not over my body or its pace of healing or my family or the weather or much else, really. 

    Stay tuned,

        Leta

December 28--Easy Days

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. 
--George Washington Carver

    The days between Christmas and New Year's Day tend to be really low-key for me. I rarely need an alarm, and can relax into my spiritual practice with plenty of coffee and little time pressure. I head to the YMCA to swim when I get around to it. Appointments and time commitments are rare. We have had unusually warm weather, so outdoor walks have been a bonus. 

    Just as I'm floating along this smooth, easy river of life, I look up at the woman cave ceiling at a brand new wet spot underneath where the kitchen sink and dishwasher reside. This will rearrange my husband's already lengthy project list, oh joy. I have offered my prayer to the Universe that this is a simple, easy repair. 

    After the year that 2025 has been (that will be the Dec 31 post), I most certainly do not want to go into 2026 with the mindset of "it's always something!!!"

    Easy does it.

        Leta

My artwork and THE LEAK

December 27--Rather Odd for Christmas

It ain't the heat, it's the humility.  --Yogi Berra

(Even my quote choices are showing my desperation for baseball!!)

    It was 75 degrees for a high temp here in Wichita on Christmas Day. I walked Barney in the afternoon in jeans and a t-shirt and came back sweaty. My husband and I had happy hour on our deck with no need for the propane heater. This was quite weird, but I'll take it. I don't care for extreme cold or heat. 

    We had a lovely, peaceful holiday. My husband restocked my gift card supply for my two favorites--Andy's Ice Cream and Culver's. We ate our usual healthy home-cooked meals rather than some big meal hoopla. We each did a Barney walk. He rode his bike and I watched a lot of NBA basketball. I did some writing and painting. I talked with both sons. It wasn't "the best Christmas ever" but it was good, and I am profoundly grateful. 

    And I am READY for 2026!

        Leta

One grandson's name-painting is complete.

December 26--Safety FIRST

I think I've almost killed myself 1,000 times eating some sandwich as fast as I possibly could and almost choking. It's a miracle that I'm still alive. 
--Paul F. Tompkins

    I will say right up front that this post should label me as a bad human 😉😉

    My dear brother-in-law is a retired police officer who served St. Louis and surrounding burbs well for decades. This man is INTO safety. He has a history of giving safety equipment as Christmas gifts. Last year he gave us fire blankets, which my husband dutifully placed on top of our refrigerator. I'm thinking the house would burn down by the time I got the blanket into action.   

    With this gifting history, it is always a bit suspenseful to open this year's item. It is a Choking Rescue Device. This prompted me to ask, "What happened to the Heimlich maneuver?" I have not actually held the Device or read any instructions. I have, however, (bad human) laughed hysterically. "Where do we put it? It should be on the dinner table so it's handy if we need it. Otherwise, we'd have to find it and we would probably be dead by the time we remembered where it was." "Can you use it on yourself?" "Yet another thing we didn't know we should be worried about." I absolutely know my b-i-l means well, and my husband will graciously thank him for both of us. Who knows? It may come in handy one day, if we can find it!!!

    You, too, can be a "PREPARED HERO!!"

        Leta

December 25--Merry Christmas!!

If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. --Vincent van Gogh

    I am a living, breathing, painting example of this quote. 

    A dear friend told me about an organization on Amazon wherein you send them a photo, and they return a 16"-square paint-by-number canvas, paints (36 tiny pots) and brushes. She did one of her dog that turned out great, so I went for it with a favorite Barney photo. I started painting it in early October, thinking of it as an end-of-October birthday present for my husband. 95 hours later I finished it, on December 17. I did the entire thing through a lighted magnifying glass with a teeny, tiny paintbrush. I will get it framed in the next couple of weeks. I couldn't be happier with it. 

    My husband was stunned with it. Mouth agape. WOW! SPECTACULAR! and many questions. I included the teeny paintbrush with it so he could see the main tool I used. This explained the many hours I kept him out of the woman cave while I was working on it. The joy in painting it and in him opening it was well worth the effort. And as he suggested, I learned a lot doing it. 

    MERRY! MERRY! JOY! JOY!

        Leta

Barney forever!!