August 31--Highs and Lows

I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows. 
--Drew Barrymore

    Today completes 2/3 of 2025. It seems that the mission of this year is to teach me to flow with the highs and lows of life. I had a super high with the six-week trip to Australia, New Zealand and Bali. I returned home with the super low of excruciating pain from sciatica. That took me through life-ending consideration and left me with months of physical therapy and SLOW recovery with ongoing stamina, balance, nerve and foot issues. I have not had this great of a physical low in decades, not even with my 2020 hip replacement. The four or five miles a day that I walked on the big vacation is merely a pipe dream now. Walking with a cane to attempt to keep my gait normal has been only somewhat successful. That has exacerbated the ache in my right shoulder, now diagnosed as tendinopathy. If I followed the adage, "If it hurts, don't do it," I would never move again. 

    My son and daughter-in-law moved my grandsons even further away, from Colorado to Minnesota--a big low. But they purchased and moved into a log cabin on five acres of woods next to a river, so it is a magnificent place to thrive and raise two little boys--a big high. 

   Other highs of this year so far were the great vacation with my niece, and my son and grandsons visiting in June. I could not have made it through all this without being able to swim laps, which is great for me physically but also helps me stay sane. While I have been able to play pickleball (gently!) a few times, I miss my old routine of playing three or four times a week. 

    Another "mixed bag" this year has been a tremendous amount of personal shadow work resulting in an extraordinary release of anger via journaling, screaming, sobbing and raging.

    My painting hobby and my sweet dog Barney have truly been lifesavers. 

    So far this has been a year of both incredibly good and truly bad stuff. As of right now, I can't say that I will look back on 2025 with warm, fuzzy feelings. Yet I'm still hopeful for the last third of the year!

    One day at a time!!

        Leta

August 30--We Be Stardust

"Things We Are Made Of" by Mary Davis:

Delight. Happiness. Shining. Rays. 

Compassion. Wisdom. Radiance. Grace.

Joy. Hope. Kindness. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Songs. Harmony. Peace. One.

Silence. Power. Will. Sun.

Joy. Hope. Strength. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Eagle wings. Angel flight. 

Soaring. Dancing. Dark. Light.

Joy. Hope. God. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Light. Stars. Skies. Moons.

Galaxies. Planets. Earth. Ruins. 

Joy. Hope. Infinite love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Water. Dust. Fire. Flame.

Wind. Rock. Clouds. Rain.

Joy. Hope. Faith. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

Roots. Branches. Blooms. Blades. 

Mountains. Rivers. Forests. Lakes. 

Joy. Hope. God. Love.

These are the things we are made of. 

    Please do something wonderful for your magnificent Self today!

        Leta

Astronomy Picture of the Day,
June 3, 2025

August 29--The MRI Result

If it hurts, don't do it.  --Unknown

    The MRI on my shoulder fortunately revealed no rotator cuff damage, merely tendinopathy, a fancy term for tendinitis. Google offers this definition: a broad term for a range of tendon disorders, primarily caused by overuse, repetitive strain, or aging, leading to pain, stiffness, and weakness. I am being referred to an orthopedic doctor who I expect will say, "At your age, if it hurts, don't do it." 

    Having spent the past four months trying to recover my strength and stamina after three weeks of inactivity due to sciatica pain, telling me to stop moving is not going to fly. Nevertheless, I am distressed at the prospect of "just live with it." Let's hope the next doctor has something helpful to offer. 

    Stay tuned,

        Leta

August 28--The LAST Time

A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days. 
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

    When you reach senior citizen level, as I have (choke!), you start to consider "last." For example, I hope this is the "last" car I need to buy. Obviously, one never knows if that "last" will hold up. Life goes on. My late friend, "Hat," lived over 100 years. When asked his secret to longevity, he said, "I just haven't died yet."

    I am working on a major-league "last." I have cleaned our house for the last time. I am just going to let it get filthier and filthier. Just kidding! I am on a quest for a cleaning person. Given my ongoing physical recovery from back and leg issues, cleaning this week has been very tiring and left me quite sore. I do like the end result, but this is not the sort of stress I want to put my body through. I say that if I keeled over when house-cleaning, I would be pissed off for eternity! Also, because I have been cleaning houses since I was around ten years old, I'd venture that sixty years of that is more than enough.

    The search is ON!

        Leta

BRING IT ON!!!

August 27--40 Years, Really?!?!!

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.  --Benjamin Franklin

    I was returning to the house with Barney at the end of last night's walk, and actually looked at the magnificent willow oak tree in our front yard. I planted it 35 years ago, basically a twig, and now it is probably 50' tall. I'm sure when I planted it that I did not expect to be in the same house for 40 years and counting. 

    I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about our homestead. It certainly could use a LOT of updating. That would take a LOT of money. Then there is the effort of figuring out the improvements and getting them done. It is becoming too big a job for me to keep it clean, especially with the dog. (My tag line: you can have a clean house or you can have a dog, but you can't have both.) I have reduced the size of my garden over the years, but I fear that the remaining garden is becoming too much for me to care for in the way that I want. I love our court and our neighbors, so the idea of moving is depressing, not to mention the enormous amount of downsizing that would be involved. I don't know if I have the energy to move, although there is some appeal to a "shiny new place," especially a one-level home. I DO love my woman cave, my cool basement haven that is totally me. 

    One day at a time,

        Leta

My barn quilts on our backyard shed

August 26--Claustrophobic? Maybe A Little

I think I can, I think I can.  --"The Little Engine That Could" by Watty Piper

    I had an MRI yesterday morning on my right shoulder. It has been hurting for months, mostly when I am lying down (which makes sleeping a challenge). Rest, physical therapy, creams, and pain relievers have not affected it, so I finally succumbed to an MRI. The scan took about 20 minutes with three scan periods of around six minutes each. I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Being told that you cannot move does only one thing: create a desperate desire to move. I am very grateful for my yoga breathing training and meditation practice. 

    Hoping this is my last MRI in this lifetime!

        Leta

You get the idea...

August 25--More on Handling Emotions

Be kind to your beautiful self.  --Mary Davis

Psychologist Hillary McBride offers these leads to consider one's relationship with emotions:

    Growing up, the feelings I was allowed to feel were …

    I learned that it would be dangerous to feel …

    The feelings that I have learned to label as negative are …

    I am afraid that if I feel ______ (fear, sadness, joy, disgust, excitement, anger, desire), then I might …

    When I was little, I needed to learn that feelings …

    I'm guessing that the vast majority of folks in my generation were raised to suppress emotions, hence the enormous amount of addiction in our society today. 

    I had a morning of meltdown the other day. Looking back in my journal, I was feeling the same frustrations that I listed in a writing exactly one month prior. Lots of hard work with seemingly no progress piles up on me, and plenty of tears had to flow to release the angst. Because of that good soul-rinsing, I'm once again back on the upside.

    Moving on,

        Leta

Glass in Flight II, Botanica, Wichita