May 31--A Good Ordinary Day

Celebrate small moments and find joy in small things.  --Mary Davis 

    Today's agenda is to drink coffee, go to the Farmers' Market, get gas, swim laps, do my strengthening and stretching exercises, take a nap, watch the Cubs game, give Barney some belly-rubs, and maybe do some gardening. There's nothing extraordinary in that list, but I shall enjoy every item. As I focus on the next right thing to do, it is easier to let worries or negative thoughts fall to the wayside. 

    Last night I was able to volley the pickleball against the garage door for a few minutes. While my stamina has a long way to go, I celebrate this milestone which supports my goal of returning to pickleball (very carefully and gently) next Monday. Last night's experiment felt great, and I did not stumble or feel as klutzy as I thought I might. Yippee, I'm getting my life back!!!

        Leta

A recent "breakfast for lunch"--
bless my husband, an excellent cook!!

May 30--Death by Poison

One of the great surprises on the human journey is that we come to full consciousness precisely by shadowboxing, facing our own contradictions, and making friends with our own mistakes and failings.  --Richard Rohr

    The idea of poison will not leave me, so here goes. 

    I have reached the conclusion that we humans do not need war, weapons or nukes to destroy ourselves. We are slowly and methodically poisoning ourselves on every level. 

    Physical poisoning is blatantly obvious, with our polluted air and water, destruction of habitat and species, ever-increasing destructive weather events, poisonous chemicals used on our food... I could write for days on this one.

    Emotional poisoning--"Us vs. Them" is killing us. From private homes to the biggest political stage, abuse is rampant. Healthy processing of emotions is discouraged, and the "baggage build-up" is overwhelming us.

    Mental poisoning--We are living in a society based on lies. It is nearly impossible to feel confident in any news source. We are rapidly having our inalienable rights taken away with such efforts as book-banning, restrictions on protests and gerrymandering.

    Spiritual poisoning... All of the other poisons are damaging our spirits. Religion is not helping, but rather contributing by such practices as hatred of LGBTQ+, priests' sexual abuse, mistreatment of women and denial of basic human rights, demanding allegiance to human-made rules. 

    Are we capable of stopping this slow suicide?

        Leta

May 29--Open to Light

I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.  --J. R. R. Tolkien, "The Hobbit"

    This quote attracted me especially with "keep the darkness at bay." We need only glance at that electronic brick in our hands to see an infinite amount of darkness. The darkness that is most troubling to me is the amount of misinformation and outright deception that is being passed off as truth. Our current political leaders have built their careers and thrive on this. This is generating a huge amount of mistrust, which is not the direction we need to be headed. 

    I explored the term "woke" used by conservatives as an insult to the rest of us. This is what I found via Google:

"Woke" fundamentally means being aware of systemic issues and injustices. It often implies a commitment to social justice and fighting against discrimination and oppression. It can also involve being mindful of different cultures and perspectives. In essence, "woke" represents a call to be informed, aware, and engaged in addressing social and political issues, while also being subject to debate and critique.

    This is a bad thing!?!?! I'm OK being called "woke." I guess the opposing side is asleep? dead? comatose? They are certainly acting that way! 

        Leta

May 28--More Shadow Thoughts

I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge others. 
--AA Daily Reflections, May 28

Whenever... any true believers, are too anti anything, we can be pretty sure there’s some shadow material lurking somewhere nearby. Zealotry often reveals one’s overly repressed shadow.  --Richard Rohr

    Having lived in Kansas for over 40 years, these quotes remind me of the whack-job minister and extreme zealot, Fred Phelps, who made it his mission in life to protest/torture/revile gays. I'd bet he had enormous homosexual desires that he covered with zealotry. Oh, but, wait--that's not mine to judge!

    Shadow-work, getting to know both our dark and light aspects, leads to living in integrity, at peace with oneself, thereby supporting the global peace we all desire. We have to do it individually--it cannot be legislated or enforced. It can be quite unpleasant wandering through one's personal "muck," but the freedom on the other side is worth the effort. The result is described by Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf:

Looking into the darkness or living with shadow awareness is not an easy path…. Rather, to live with shadow awareness we follow the detours; we walk into the debris, groping our way through dark corridors and past dead ends. Shadow-work asks us to turn in that direction.

It asks us to stop blaming others.
It asks us to take responsibility.
It asks us to move slowly.
It asks us to deepen awareness.
It asks us to hold paradox.
It asks us to open our hearts.
It asks us to sacrifice our ideals of perfection.
It asks us to live the mystery.

We suggest that you relate to the shadow as a mystery, rather than as a problem to be solved or an illness to be cured.

    I like the idea of exploring the mystery rather than fixing something.

        Leta

May 27--Our Shadows--Always with Us

Every act of kindness is multiplied exponentially as it spreads from soul to soul. I have the power to change the world for the better.  --Mary Davis

    Richard Rohr's Daily Meditations from the Center for Action and Contemplation have been focusing on our shadow--"what we refuse to recognize about ourselves and what we do not want others to perceive." We all have a shadow, and some deal with it better than others. Shadow work can, as it did for me, lead to addiction recovery--the 12-Step programs are excellent at processing one's shadow. 

    Ruth Haley Barton offers this regarding the discovery of our shadow:

There is some behavioral pattern, something unresolved, something out of control enough, something destructive enough, that we say, “I must go into solitude with this.” We thought we had kept it fairly well hidden. We thought we could manage it or at least keep its destructive nature fairly private, but now here it is—out there for all to see—and it is wreaking havoc on our attempts to accomplish something good.  

    This points to the huge amount of work I have done post-trip on my anger and resentment and those things I had hoped to leave in Bali. (See May 23 post.) I'm well aware that I have a very angry shadow, and that anger raging through my body as sciatica pain certainly demanded my attention. 

    Grateful for ongoing healing,

        Leta

Shadow art by Fabrizio Corneli

May 26--Remembering

Life is fragile. Love is eternal.  --Mary Davis

    I remember my mom, dad, two brothers, and three sisters-in-law who have passed. I have always lived a great distance from the grave sites, so I am not one to put flowers or whatever on them on this holiday. Even if I still lived in the area, I would not do so. I respect those who do participate in that ritual, but it confuses me. I think about one or more of these folks every day, so I do not need a special day or ritual to remember them. I honor the love we shared for a lifetime, and I'm grateful, even with many challenges, for the time we had together here on Planet Earth. Both of my brothers served in the U.S. military.

    The photo below is my parents' grave marker--note that they died on the same date, 21 years apart. Mom's favorite--roses--are permanent on the marker. 

        Leta

May 25--Beauty Sustains Us

I feel the joy of being alive and allow myself to expand through beautiful works of nature, music and art.  --Mary Davis

    I am pondering the "beautiful works of nature, music and art" that have graced my life. Nature was the first and foremost beauty, as I was born and raised in the magnificently beautiful boondocks of central Pennsylvania. We didn't live on a farm, but we were surrounded by them. My mother had a huge garden and with her preservation talents, she provided us with fruit and vegetables year-round. There were always flowers blooming, too--her roses were her pride and joy. My designated "most beautiful spot on the planet" is Alan Seeger Nature Area which was about ten miles from my PA home and the site of many a family picnic. My mother's creativity lives with us today in the braided rugs on the floor, the doilies here and there, and the crocheted afghans that warm us in the winter. 

    I have very limited musical talent, as in, I will sing out loud when no one else is around. Luckily I get my music fix from my very talented husband, who graces our home with mandolin and guitar music on a regular basis. One of the things our sons said they missed the most after leaving home was going to sleep at night listening to Dad playing music. My most recent spectacular musical experience was a symphony concert at the Sydney Opera House Concert Hall in Australia. 

    One of my favorite things to do in a new-to-me city is go to the art museum. Imagine my joy, when a few years ago at a "drink and paint" adventure with friends, I learned that I, too, could paint! Monet, I am not, but if you can smear paint on something, well, there you have it--you can paint. I've been making art for several years, taking classes even. I don't expect to have my work in the Louvre, but I certainly have enjoyed the spiritual expansion that painting has given me. 

    I'm so grateful that nature, music and art enable us to rise above the apparent ugliness of the world.

        Leta

One of the barn quilts I painted
during the pandemic