November 17--Good and Strong

Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others. 
--Plato

A tree gives glory to God by being a tree.  --Thomas Merton

    I wanted to share the Merton quote to remind us that our ultimate is simply being the unique human each of us is. YOU give glory to God by being YOU. I give glory to God by being ME. 

    I celebrate our human uniqueness. I want to shout my appreciation for the staff at the care home where my brother resides. In memory care, they are dealing with a volatile population. They work hard and care deeply. Just yesterday one of the staff handled a situation that was quite embarrassing, yet it was "all in a day's work" to her. Another taught this rookie how to insert my brother's hearing aids properly. I could not do their jobs. They are "good actions" on steroids. 

    I am exploring a new adventure in life. With a tip from a fellow pickleball player, I have applied at the Kansas College of Osteopathic Medicine to be a simulated patient. I've had a phone interview, and in a couple weeks I'll have a tour of the school and an in-person interview. I have a relatively small idea of what I'm getting into, but it sounds like fun. It is also an answer to my prayer for new options to use my time. 

    Happy Friday!

        Leta

Those aren't leaves, they are berries--
quite glorious!

November 16--Kindness is a Better Tool

You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot by force.  --Publilius Syrus

    I wish the Russians and Israelis and all associated parties would operate on that sentiment. Clearly force is not good for anyone involved. Why are we still killing each other!?!?!?!!?

    Yesterday started with another glorious early morning swim. The sun shines directly down my lane, so I see swirling rainbows of color on the bottom of the pool. Swimming with rainbows... can't beat that. Plus there is an even warmer therapy pool that I can roam in after lap swimming, making all my hard-worked muscles go "aaahhhhhh!" 

    I took my brother to lunch and a 12-step meeting. He has been a member in the area for decades, so there were plenty of folks happy and surprised to see him. The meeting was on prayer and meditation (Step 11), so it was a lovely reminder for me how essential those practices are for recovery. 

    I also brought my brother over to his daughter's house in the evening for "Taco Wednesday," where two of her sons joined us. Great family fun and banter ensued. I took my brother back to his "apartment," thereby escaping the cleanup and dish-washing chores. 😉 A couple more rounds of Rummikub finished off another excellent day. 

    So happy to be here, 

        Leta

November 15--It's Bold to be Old!?!?

Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer. 
--Niccolo Machiavelli

    Wow, what an education I am getting. I have made several visits to my brother's care home in the three full days I've been here so far. It looks to me like the folks there are suffering mightily, but are they? My brother calls it "the prison." He doesn't like all the rules. Being there makes me pray that I someday just drop dead of a heart attack. I am naming the fact that I am in denial about being an old person. All those folks gathered around the table with varying levels of engagement brings the age issue square in front of my face. I cling to the fact that I am in good shape and healthy for my age. I must continue to do bold things while I am able! 

    I am also amazed at the body/mind connection. My brother's short-term memory is more and more challenged, but his long-term memory is amazing. He talked to me for an hour and a half yesterday about his two tours of duty in Viet Nam as an Army Ranger. Yet he is challenged to remember to insert his hearing aids and to always use his walker. 

    This is a very good love and learning experience for me. 

        Leta

 

November 14--More Gentleness, Please

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength. 
--St. Francis de Sales

    I am visiting my brother at his care home, and due mostly to recent falls, he has been placed in the locked-down memory care unit, labeled by my bro as "the prison." I love my brother. I would do most anything for him, even taking him to Walmart (for me that is true, true love). I cannot deny, however, that it is quite depressing to walk through the area to which he is confined. It's mostly older folks just sitting and staring. The staff is wonderful--they are magnificently gentle with these folks--and I understand that this is challenging work. I couldn't do it. Part of me wants to run away screaming, and part of me wants to move to a state that allows "death with dignity" so that I never have to be in a care home. This place makes a fairly quick death by cancer look like a sweet dream! 

    I am going to learn a lot over these next couple of weeks hanging with my brother, both about his situation and myself. Yesterday I took him to get his hearing aids fixed, followed by an ice cream lunch at our favorite local spot. He motored around very well with his walker. Today's mission is to take him for a new pair of sunglasses. Walmart may be in my future.

        Leta

Lavender, the horrid smell in 
most every care home

November 13--Bravery Is Earned

You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you. 
--Mary Tyler Moore

    Then I guess I can thank my late older brother for much of my bravery. He was my in-family bully. 

    Moving on, after my "brave" 1000-mile drive here, my first full day was awesome. I had a morning visit with my brother, and I'm pleased to report that he looked and sounded much better than I expected. I did a big grocery run in anticipation of doing some meal prep for my niece and me. I got soup ingredients ready to assemble and went back to my brother's "apartment" and watched the first half of the Browns game with him. Things were looking grim for the Browns. He was sleepy so I left at halftime. 

    I returned to my niece's house and assembled the lentil soup while watching the game. My niece expressed worry over the Browns' chances, but I said, "You never know, a miracle could occur," and we laughed. Well, a miracle did occur, the Browns came from behind and kicked the winning field goal with three seconds left on the clock. It was awesome! 

    We did our two-mile walk and celebrated the Browns' win and a great day with a bowl of soup, a beer, and a few rounds of Rummikub. We know how to party!! 😉😉

    Grateful,

        Leta

November 12--Arrived!

Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you, the thing you think you can't survive... it's the thing that makes you better than you used to be. 
--Jennifer Weiner

    I'm safely in northeast Ohio reunited with my niece. All things considered, it was an easy drive. 

    On my drive, I gave considerable thought to perfectionism. I was raised by the poster-child for perfectionism, so I have had very strong tendencies in that direction. Because of my own personal perfectionist "vibe," I have been fairly well surrounded by perfectionists my whole life. I have had great recovery in this area, but it still sometimes "rears its ugly head." 

    I've come to three conclusions given my experience with perfectionists. The first is that being perfect, it is totally unreasonable for anyone to criticize them. Second, given that they never do anything wrong, there is never a need to apologize for anything. Third, because of the need to keep up the perfect facade, they are extremely self-centered and lack interest in others. 

    I'm thinking that perfectionism is simply another form of addiction. 

        Leta

Threats of punishment or promises of candy later

create perpetual adolescents and well-disguised

narcissism at every level of Christianity.  --Richard Rohr

November 11--Over Half Way There!

Love is a possible strength in an actual weakness.  --Thomas Hardy

    I made it to Effingham--an easy drive on a sunny day. I was quite happy to see the giant cross. 

    I realize that this may really make me sound like a nerdy old fart (which I am), but on long drives I have been wearing compression knee-high socks. I am astounded at how not tired I am on the long drives. My body feels fine, rather than the usual feeling beaten up by the many miles. I certainly don't understand the physiology, but I love the results. Yes, they are a bitch to get on, but it is worth the effort.  

    Also, I highly recommend the audiobook that is currently entertaining me: "Nothing is Missing" by Nicole Walters.

    Today I arrive at my destination in Stow, Ohio. Onward!

        Leta

Time to get some colorful, 
less nerdy hose 😉