August 31--Home = Peace

Peace--that was the other name for home.  --Kathleen Norris

    Thus ends the August focus on the theme of "home." While I am not feeling much in the way of inner peace right now, there is plenty of peace here at home. Work continues on our new deck. Barney is totally on his duty of guarding and protecting us. Fall, my favorite season, is approaching. 

    Breathe,

        Leta

The stairs are the remaining work...

August 30--Understanding?

Home is not where you live but where they understand you. 
--Christian Morgenstern

    My first reaction to reading this quote was a sarcastic snort. Truth be told, I don't think that being understood at home has ever been the case for me--not in childhood, not in adulthood. My adult niece even said to me once, "You always have been a little weird." I really don't care to go any further down that "rabbit hole." 

    Back to my jury duty adventure... I reported to the courthouse on Monday as ordered. It was a bust. I sat the whole day in the jury waiting room and was released at 4:00 pm without ever seeing a courtroom or being asked any questions. Oh, well, I did my duty. 

        Leta

At the CSU Gardens

August 29--Shadows

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.  --John Ed Pearce

    I most certainly did want to leave, and I did. Given that my parents died so long ago (Mom in 1979, Dad in 2000), I don't feel much desire to get back there. I make occasional trips to see my remaining family, and I thoroughly enjoy those trips, but I won't be moving back to PA anytime soon. 

    I'm running these days full-speed into the "brick wall" of expectations or ideas not meeting reality. A couple examples: I love the IDEA of sleeping the night away, but here I am awake at 4:00 am with no hope of any more sleep. I love the IDEA of golf, but my skill level often disappoints me. There are other much more significant and troublesome examples that I won't go into. This is a recurring thing for me. I simply haven't figured out how to not have any expectations about anything.  

    Today I report to the 18th Judicial District for jury duty; maybe some interesting stories will follow from that.

        Leta

Weed shadows on the Sunset Park sidewalk

August 28--Tail-Wagging Joy

Maybe that's the best part of going away for a vacation--coming home again. 
--Madeleine L'Engle

    I grew up in the boondocks of Pennsylvania. My mother was a superior cook, but our diet was fairly "meat & potatoes" with lots of desserts (heaven for a budding food addict). It's comical to look back at the fact that Dad became furious if Mom served rice; sometimes I think she did it just to piss him off. (No need to wonder why I experienced a lot of stress around food and meal times!) Dad refused to fly, so Mom took me with her on international trips which introduced us to many new foods. I remember Mom and I discussing that when we got home, the first thing we wanted was a good ole American cheeseburger. 

    Having a dog has changed the "coming back home" dynamic. I miss Barney so much when I am away. I know he will be waiting at the door, tail wagging, ready for a lick fest to tell me how much he missed me. This is true whether I've been away 15 minutes or 15 days. With enthusiasm like that, who wouldn't be excited to return home?!?!?!!

    I love vacations, and I love coming back to the familiar comfort of home.

        Leta

"Yippee! You're back!" 

August 27--Boldly Go

Eden is that old-fashioned house

We dwell in every day

Without suspecting our abode

Until we drive away.  

--Emily Dickinson

    This is the Henri Nouwen meditation from August 25 titled "Writing Reveals What is Alive in Us":

Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals to us what is alive in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: “I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write.” Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to “give away” on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.

     I wouldn't say that I always come in contact with "riches." I did some very painful, angry journal writing a couple days ago. It was stuff that needed to be freed. And, yes, my heart feels like it is carrying less. 

    So I keep writing...

        Leta

A Kansas field of sunflowers along I70

August 26--Lighter

One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a county road one cozy evening--the best piece of pie you have ever eaten in your life--and can never find again.  --Lemony Snicket

    Today I am offering some miscellaneous chuckles:

1. Bumper sticker I saw recently: The Universe is made up of neutrons, electrons, protons and morons. 

2. Dr. Tom Johnson: The 11th Commandment--Thou shalt lighten up.

3. Galileo Galilei: The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do. 

4. In a story with examples of British humor... A woman had gone to bed and her boyfriend came home very drunk. He came into the bedroom and undressed and just stood there. She asked, "Are you coming to bed?" He said, "I'm sure you are quite lovely, but I have a girlfriend." And he spent the night sleeping on the floor. 

    Enjoy your Friday!

        Leta

Tilly and Barney checking out
that strange little human (grandson Luca)

August 25--Returning

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.  --Nelson Mandela

    I'm back in Wichita after meeting my newborn grandson. Home hasn't changed, but all I want at this point is to be in Colorado. Time with my family members out there is the most precious thing to me. Luca's new little life has already so altered me. 

    I'm cranky and sad and in need of soul-rinsing, so I'll write more another time. 

        Leta

The mountain vista near Wellington, Colorado