May 31--It Starts Here.

You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. 
--Thich Nhat Hanh

     If I don't accept myself, I can't be accepted by others, because I am continually telling myself I am unacceptable. Acceptance begins within. When I do accept myself, "warts and all," I am naturally more accepting of others, and that sets up a circulation of acceptance.
     It would take a lot of effort if we had to jump through different hoops for each person whose acceptance we felt we had to have. It's way easier to accept ourselves and let the acceptance by others flow naturally from that.
     Bottom-line, however, we don't need anyone else's acceptance. We don't need to prove ourselves to anyone, nor justify our existence. Alas, that's not so much how current human consciousness sees things. It takes personal strength to ignore both the praises and criticisms of others. Self-acceptance is the key.
     Focusing now on beauty,
         Leta

  

From the Colorado State University Gardens in Fort Collins

May 30--JOY!

Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being; not our dream, but a human being with flaws. --Anais Nin

     Husband, dog and I are in Fort Collins visiting our sons and family. Due to the pandemic lock-down, this is one of the longer stretches we've had between visits, and it has been torture, mostly because we just couldn't predict when this visit might happen. We reunited last evening, and I managed not to hug them, though I can't say I'll make it through the whole visit 6' away. The whole situation is flawed (not what I would have chosen for 2020), but as a family we are adjusting and coping as best we can. All three kids (sons, Derek and Eliot, and Derek's partner, Caila) work with the public (FedEx, Starbucks, Whole Foods), so the big fear here is that they could be carriers and infect us, their "higher risk" parents.
     I have been blessed with a long marriage of 34 years so far. It certainly started out as the dream, young, in-love, happy, excited to build a life together. That construction is a messy, complicated process which does ultimately reveal our flawed humanity. We're good at some things and not good at others. We have baggage from growing up. Life triggers us into growth situations. Loving can get very challenging, especially when raising other humans gets thrown into the mix. Ultimately all flaws are exposed. And yet love has continued to grow. At some point, in all lasting relationships, we love each other because of our flaws, not in spite of them. It's a magnificent place to land.

     Flawed, and OK with that,

            Leta

May 29--You is Best

You are your best thing.  --Toni Morrison

     What else do you have to operate with besides yourself? Anyone who has spent any time trying to change or control another person knows that to be a beat-your-head-against-a-wall proposition. It's best to just stick to yourself in terms of shaping, growing, molding, and expanding. It's a glorious lifetime practice creating a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body that you love. Appreciating the twists and turns of life as you alone experience them makes them all much easier to bear. 

     All to often I hear someone later in life say, "I wish I'd taken better care of myself." I've had that thought occasionally. Living by the above quote, and thus, training our children by example, would be a good way to avoid self-disappointment down the road. 

     Another area where I see a lot of self-defeating behavior is in comparing oneself with others. That's trying to match their outsides with your insides, never a successful practice. You rarely come out of a round of comparison thinking, "I am my best thing." There's too much opportunity there for not measuring up to some imagined standard. Serenity requires leaving the self-judgment behind. 

     Comfy as me,

            Leta

May 28--What If?

There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one. 
--Kazuo Ishiguro

     I LOVE this quote! The many places it takes me...
     While I don't understand it in my human mind, I do believe that we choose to come here, choose the general "family" we are born into, even have some general "plans" of what we'd like to accomplish here. Given the infinite nature of the Universe, and the options on planet Earth alone, I could have picked myriad other lives, but I took this one. Sometimes that has made me wonder "wtf?" but mostly, at least in hindsight, I'd say, "Good job, Leta Renee."
     Then there are all the places in life where I made pivotal choices, mostly not recognizing them as such at the time, but pivotal nonetheless. Leaving home in Pennsylvania and going to graduate school in Minnesota instead of getting a job after completing college. Taking a job at cheese company in Green Bay, Wisconsin, which led me to meet my future husband, Dennis. (Note: I grew up in Pennsylvania, he grew up in Missouri. The Universe did some work to get us together.) Moving to Wichita, Kansas to be closer to Dennis. All I knew of Kansas was from my many viewings of "The Wizard of Oz." Buying a home in a neighborhood where we've stayed for 35 years. Agreeing to have two children, and praise the Lord, they are both males. I'm not the girly-girl daughter-raising type. It would have been a whole different ball game had I had to figure out how to raise a girl. 😉😉 Then there are the assorted jobs I've had. The huge pivotal step of joining and sticking with a 12-step program. Yoga teacher training. All these different things have brought a wealth of awesome people into my life. And joy inexpressible.
     As one of my spiritual practices, I ask myself periodically "If I died today, would I have any regrets?" While this may sound morbid, it's not. It's a very clean feeling to have a good life and good relationships. Currently my only regret would be that I didn't get to do all that I wanted to do, for instance, traveling. (And grandchildren, but that one is outta my hands!!!!)
     So glad to be "having this one,"
             Leta

May 27--Chew Thoroughly

Whatever happens to you belongs to you. Make it yours. Feed it to yourself, even if it feels impossible to swallow. Let it nurture you, because it will. --Cheryl Strayed

     Whatever has transpired in my life up to now has brought me to this point. If I am content with myself, it is fairly easy to say that even though there may have been tough (rotten) times, it took all of life's experiences to make me this person of today. If I am not content with myself, that indicates that there is some part of me or my experiences that I am rejecting. That in itself is some nurturing guidance. Being human, I would say that I am content with myself about 95% of the time. There's still nurturing work to be done. That means I'm still alive, for which I'm thankful!
     We humans have such a strong inclination to avoid negative or painful situations. I'll bet, however, that as you reflect on your life, the roughest spots had some of the biggest impacts in terms of growth and nurturing your spirit. Grieving the deaths of close family members has made me stronger. Yoga teacher training nearly did me in, it felt "impossible to swallow," but I did, and it was one of the most rewarding things I ever did. It's continues to reward me many years later.
     I am joyfully hopeful that the current pandemic situation will make us all stronger, wiser, more considerate and more compassionate humans, if we let it nurture us, rather than resisting.
     Chewing thoroughly makes swallowing easier,
             Leta

May 26--I'll Take All of It

When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade. And of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.  --Mr. Rogers

     I pretty much love anything that comes out of Mr. Rogers' mouth, because he is such a loving presence.
     Think of someone you dearly love. Aren't there things about that person that are annoying, or that you wish weren't there? Yet you still love them. My brother and I are at opposite ends of the political spectrum, generally, yet I can easily overlook that because I love him so much. If you have a spouse or significant other, I bet you can name something pretty quickly that annoys you about them, but it's easy to accept because you love them.
     Inability to accept ourselves fully makes for a judgmental and critical attitude toward others. It also makes it very easy for others to "push our buttons." If we see these happening in ourselves (who doesn't, at least occasionally), then looking at self-acceptance is the key. If we can own our humanity, warts and all, it makes those warts in others much easier to bear. Another way to state the above quote: only if I am at peace with me, can I at peace with you.
     Peaceful for now,
             Leta

May 25--Is Change Acceptable?

Change is one thing. Acceptance is another. --Arundhati Roy

     Oh, boy! That's a biggie. We are certainly living in unprecedented change due to the response to the pandemic. There's plenty of resistance (non-acceptance) to it, too. That's a perfect example of this quote right in our faces.
     Sometimes we like change. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes it is easy to accept, most likely when we initiate the change as opposed to having it forced upon us. Unexpected change, especially from outside us, can be tough to accept. We humans tend to like our comfy little ruts, and change can cause stress.
     In a very timely synchronicity, this is the Note from the Universe (Mike Dooley) for today:

Detours, challenges, and crisis are simply covers for miracles that had no other way of reaching you.

It's all good,
The Universe

     I'll close with a key point about acceptance: just because we accept something does not mean we have to like it. 

     Change equals growth, 

              Leta

P.S. The second barn quilt completed.