"Stop looking for happiness in other people. Our source of happiness and well-being is not inside others; it's inside us." Melody Beattie, Codependent No More
I'm re-reading Codependent No More. I think I should keep on re-reading it for the rest of my life. Not only do I continue to recognize more codependent behaviors in myself, but I also see that many of the issues experienced by friends and clients are rooted in codependency. This book offers good practices for modifying behavior to keep us focused on ourselves and our own lives, and staying out of others' lives.
It's a prescription for disaster to let one's happiness depend on other people, their behavior, or any other outer circumstance, acquisition or event. If we aren't happy with ourselves, we'll never be happy, because we are always with ourselves--as Rev. Michael Beckwith says, we can't divorce ourselves.
Where do we start? First of all, think of one thing you enjoy doing, make plans as needed to do it, and DO IT! Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Enjoyment breeds more enjoyment.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Think of every single thing that you "have to" do to get through a day as things you "get to" do... before your turn is over. Notes from the Universe by Mike Dooley.
This quote jolted me for several reasons. The first is "every single thing..." Not just stuff we like, not just good stuff, but everything! It's all good. The second is the reminder of "get to" rather than "have to." We always have a choice, so everything that we do is something we've selected to be part of our day, so yes, it's always a "get to," never a "have to." The third jolt is in the phrase "before your turn is over." What a great way to look at life, eternal life, that is--it's all a very long game, and each lifetime here on earth is our turn at the "earth game." Truly I think the reason so many folks love sports, i.e. games, is that we know on some level that all of creation, eternally, is a game, and we are created and born to earth to play.
Let's lighten up, and not take things so seriously!
Friday, June 3, 2011
“…we all have the guts to leave the ruts when we are motivated.” Linda McNamar
Whoa! I took a literal flying leap out of my rut by ziplining in Costa Rica last week. What an experience in trust—trusting the support people and equipment, trusting my body. Not only was the zipping an exhilarating and terrifying experience, but the climb up the mountain and launch stations took stamina I didn’t know I had. And I chose to ask for help, also not a routine practice in my rut.
My main motivation was that I don’t know if I’ll ever have this opportunity again, and I’d kick myself if I didn’t do it. Another motivation was conquering fear—thousands have done it, no reason I can’t. It’s another opportunity to say, “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.”
Life is great! Peek outside your rut and find an adventure!